Quack
FinsburyParkCarrots
Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
A duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says, 'But you're a duck'.
'I see your eyes are working', replies the duck.
'And you talk!' exclaims the barman.
'I see your ears are working', says the duck,
'Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'
'Certainly', says the barman, 'sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub, let alone those that eat butties and drink beer. What are you doing round this way?'
'I'm working on the building site across the road', explains the duck.
'Busy?' asks the barman.
'Absolutely maxed out' says the duck, 'a change of job wouldn't go amiss'.
With that, the duck, eats his sandwich finishes off his beer and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him, 'Ah just the man, you're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!'.
'Sounds marvellous', says the ringleader, 'get him to give me a call'.
With that, the barman takes the ringmaster's phone number.
So the very next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, 'Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money and I've got the phone number here as well if you're interested!'
'Absolutely?' says the duck, 'Sounds great, where is it?'
'At the circus', says the barman.
'The circus?' the duck enquires.
'That's right', replies the barman.
'The circus?' the duck asks again.
'Yes' says the barman.
'You mean that place with the big tent?' the duck enquires.
'Yeah' the barman replies.
'With all the animals?' the duck questions.
'Of Course' the barman replies.
'With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle and the canvas walls'? asks the duck.
'That's right!' says the barman.
The duck looks confused.
The barman says 'is there a problem then?'
The duck replies 'What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?'
The barman looks at him and says, 'But you're a duck'.
'I see your eyes are working', replies the duck.
'And you talk!' exclaims the barman.
'I see your ears are working', says the duck,
'Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'
'Certainly', says the barman, 'sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub, let alone those that eat butties and drink beer. What are you doing round this way?'
'I'm working on the building site across the road', explains the duck.
'Busy?' asks the barman.
'Absolutely maxed out' says the duck, 'a change of job wouldn't go amiss'.
With that, the duck, eats his sandwich finishes off his beer and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him, 'Ah just the man, you're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!'.
'Sounds marvellous', says the ringleader, 'get him to give me a call'.
With that, the barman takes the ringmaster's phone number.
So the very next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, 'Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money and I've got the phone number here as well if you're interested!'
'Absolutely?' says the duck, 'Sounds great, where is it?'
'At the circus', says the barman.
'The circus?' the duck enquires.
'That's right', replies the barman.
'The circus?' the duck asks again.
'Yes' says the barman.
'You mean that place with the big tent?' the duck enquires.
'Yeah' the barman replies.
'With all the animals?' the duck questions.
'Of Course' the barman replies.
'With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle and the canvas walls'? asks the duck.
'That's right!' says the barman.
The duck looks confused.
The barman says 'is there a problem then?'
The duck replies 'What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?'
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Horrible joke, did you just make that up? hahahaha.
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
So no one catches you?
and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
over specific principles, goals, and policies.
http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg
(\__/)
( o.O)
(")_(")
London, Copenhagen 07
MSG 08
SBE, Manchester, London 09
Dublin, Belfast, London 10
so did i