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my trip up the stairs at night (im scared of the dark)

i_love_pirhanasi_love_pirhanas Posts: 35
edited January 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
in the dark
things are chasing me
i have to run
fast
fast as i can
mustn't stop for the world
i can see light ahead
closer
but oh
the dark
im still there
must
run
fear like teeth
snapping at my ankles
please god let me reach the light
then i'll be safe
from
the
dark
...
please
...
made it!
one last look back
i suddenly feel safe...

until next time.
Spatula
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    That reminds me of a little song I wrote about youth and age. Can I share it? Can I?

    :)

    Steel, that old pushchair: bright abacus beads.
    Mum's printed dress. Saturday coffee-shop feeds.
    Away from the dark by the side of the bed:
    Its monsters that say, "You look down and you're dead."

    Stained, this old hand: hair, fallen out threads.
    Can't even bend down to pick out all the weeds.
    Back here at the black with the curses you made,
    and a bottle that speaks, "You looked up so you're dead".
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    I like the use of short staccato lines in your poem, ILP. You get the sense of charging up the stairs...and fear like teeth snapping at the ankles! God, yes! Did you ever sing "La la la!" or make a loud noise as you went upstairs, as some sort of charm that would beat the silence and the dark? I did.
  • i_love_pirhanasi_love_pirhanas Posts: 35
    lol, FAR too out of breah to sing or anything, anyway if im hearing my own voice i might not be able to hear....other things. nope, just run into my room as fast as i can and slam the door.

    im glad you gpot the feel of how it happens though :)
    Spatula
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