the OFFICIAL conspiracy theory thread for backspacer

JG63592JG63592 Posts: 83
edited July 2009 in The Porch
the new album is actually the avacado b-sides. throw in a few songs ed came up whilst touring solo, sure. danny clinch was quoted on TMZ as saying "@#%$^&&*%% . . . just kidding . . . LOLZ!!!!"

the band already had 00'brien on board to remaster 10, and thus just threw his name on backspacer maybe. he was paid for the extra duties with a vinyl single of the fixer and an ed lighter. he then sold them on ebay to danny clinch.

pearl jam did not tour the south but rather spent time in the south rigging the 2008 election. they gigged as a lynard skynard tribute band and even bootlegged ed's grandma's peyote to keep on the down low. jeff got rolled no less than five times in three parking lots.

the opening bands in toronto will be green river and harrybu. derranged diction and shadow in chicago. and they will be lip synching as to allow for choreography that stone has always wanted to incorporate into the production.

this fall there will be a new tv show called "jeff and stone plus four". it won't make it past the first season once it is revealed that boom is actually ed's son with his ex wife. there will be two 2-part episodes where ed is sent to therapy to 1) stop smoking and 2) to stop drinking wine. mike will regrettably get a tatto of ed's girlfriend on his arm. ultimately the show will fail because of it's subtitle "who's pearl jam?"

dave abruzzesse has written a rock opera about his time with and without pearl jam. it is being directed by cameron crowe and will be called "sex cymbal . . . the pearl jam story, from someone who never read it." it's the only movie about pearl jam being made and will be the climax of crowe's "real people and some celebrites as real cinema and some good times" period of filmaking that has lasted a few decades now maybe.

all further reissues will have guest artists and alternate lyrics. they will come with t-shirts and stickers. it's all about making memories and money, but pearl jam really are going to watch it all go to fire in 2010. aand you know i'll be there . . . see you all there.

this thread is yours now, make it happen.
give J Roddy Waslton & the Business a listen, that is all.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • DeLukinDeLukin Posts: 2,757
    Boom, is that you?!?!
    I smile, but who am I kidding...
  • satansbedsatansbed Posts: 2,139
    eddie died two years ago and was replaced by michael jackson. the plastic surgery as really come on alot since he first got it, during the fixer Eddie(Michael) will bust out a moon walk, also get ready for some billie jean and thriller covers. in addition pearl jam have been bought by target and all their music has subliminal messages underneath making us buy stuff from target
  • JG63592JG63592 Posts: 83
    the reason the tours have gotten shorter is because matt has to think about his entire life before he goes on stage. . .
    give J Roddy Waslton & the Business a listen, that is all.
  • einatshauleinatshaul Posts: 2,219
    The moonwalk already happened on stage in Hawaii... :roll:
  • woundedorganwoundedorgan Posts: 607
    satansbed wrote:
    eddie died two years ago and was replaced by michael jackson. the plastic surgery as really come on alot since he first got it, during the fixer Eddie(Michael) will bust out a moon walk, also get ready for some billie jean and thriller covers. in addition pearl jam have been bought by target and all their music has subliminal messages underneath making us buy stuff from target


    Your avatar is sketchy
    God Loves Pearl Jam
  • this is all an elaborate hoax to screw Target. Stone sings most of the songs.
Sign In or Register to comment.