One Man's review of Fenway Night 1

BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
edited September 2018 in The Porch

***PLEASE NOTE: REVIEWS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY...THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE PORTRAIT OF THE CONCERT***

Real reviews of the show can be found elsewhere.

If you have misplaced your sense of humor or you are the type of person who barks back at dogs, please consult your doctor before reading further.

Pearl Jam

Fenway Park

Boston, MA

September 2nd, 2018

This is dedicated to the cacafuego who couldn't stop farting and thought it would be ironic to wear a Nirvana shirt. I can appreciate the music and the sentiment, but don't be a fucking putz. At least be original if you're gonna be ironic, and if you're gonna fart all night just let us know in advance so I don't dance into that invisible wall of hot beef chimigangas.

Can we get on with the show please?

It comes as no surprise the evening begain with a slow steady warmup. Like Wrigley N1, Ed & Company were doing some over the bra stuff.

Sometimes, Release, Low Light, EWBTCIAST. Now... if you want to seduce a woman, you could just say these four songs out loud and you'd be knuckle deep. The good news for us, we got to hear them live and I can't speak for anyone else but I had a little eargasm at the end of this four song opening.

These were all fairly straight forward, nothing spectacular. Just a decent warm up before the Rocknrolla style backhand Ed gave us to the face when he slapped us with Why Go and it blistered through our brain sockets.

No one wanted to hear a five song slow dance, which is why Why Go after Elderly took us from a spin on the tea cups to a reverse Space Mountain without much warning.

Did they kick the doors off Fenway to start like Wrigley N2? No. However, they certainly ripped the mirrors out of the bathrooms and trashed the room once they got inside. I say that because up next was Corduroy and Mind Your Manners.

#1 - It's Corduroy. It's FROM the band TO the fans. Corduroy is a lot like sex. Even if it's not great, it's amazing... so... go blow yourself if you didn't like it buttass. Vitalogy forever!

#2 - Mind Your Manners is a new one... but the kids love it... so just put your Pearl Jam penis away for two seconds and enjoy a good rock n roll song. You can stroke you ego later.

Next up after MYM, is Down. Which is just a good old fasioned jammy good time. It was clear at this point, the band is enjoying the fact it's not FUCKING HOT (as Ed mentioned) and bolts of lightning weren't destroying families.

Down is fun and your mother thinks so, too.

After the shaking our little asses to Down we were Given to Fly... and, well... you know, it's Given To Fly. What can I compare the beautiful crescendo of GTF with? It's like when you're making buttermilk biscuits, and you can see them in the skillet, slowly rising from the flat doughy embryo cresting over the edge of the black cast iron. Turning yellow then a golden brown. From out of the oven you have birthed this flakey amazement and you can't wait to SHOVE IT IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

I should mention, after G. Fly, are at a crosaroads. We could go down two paths. One path takes us to the heavens with something crushing from Riot Act or... we could get a mediocre Avacado song.

Ed chose the later, and I applaud the effort. Maybe Army Reserve is someone's favorite song. Its a good one... it's not what I would have picked. Then again, Ed didn't ask me. And also, like I said, this is just my opinion and I'm sure 90% of the people who started reading this have already given up so in realty I'm only writing to like 6 people right now, one of which might be my mom.

Annnd...coming up is a moment you wish you could relive everyday for the rest of your life. Spoiler alert, this next song features one of Mike's incendiary solos. Anyone who complains about Even Flow should really die in a tire fire. Because THAT my friends was like train with no brakes, unstoppable.

Ed felt we needed some water after Mike lit our hair on fire, and delivered a slowed down and haunting version Amongst The Waves. Maybe it wasn't slowed down...maybe Mike played so fucking amazing during Even Flow that we went into the future and when I was reentering my body it just sounded slower. I don't know any more people! I'm at FENWAY PARK!

Holy Mary with a cherry... I'm exahusted just listening to this performance. We have a loooong way to go so buckle up.

Daughter > Its Ok > W.M.A (tag) got the crowd singing as always and its a good resting place for the Got Some > Evolution > I A Patriot POW BIFF BAM Batmanesque knock out punches Ed tried to kill us with.

And like Mortal Combat, as the Fenway crowd staggered back dumbfaced you could clearly hear a voice over the stadium scream "FINISH THEM"....just as the fast and furious guitar riffs of Lukin ripped our hearts out and was fed to us still beating.

As our lifeless corpses were about to hit the floor that unmistakable "Pearl Jam sound" comes crackling through the airwaves... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WORLD RUNNING TO...

Please Mike...don't hurt 'em. Annnnnnd were dead.

Just another nasty solo... I mean the video screens at one point burst into flames. Fucking Mike was insane tonight.

Can we take a break?

Thank the Lord.



I'm like a tab
Post edited by BlackCircle on

Comments

  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
    edited September 2018

    Set II:

    Pick your face up off the floor and raise your lighters. For all you pussies out their, turn on your cell phone flashlights. Fucking technology. I love the guy beside me with the old school Bic who gave zero fucks and kept his flame going for the entire Tom Petty tribute.

    I Won't Back Down is a cool thing to witness live. Even with the smell of burning flesh lingering above me.

    Is ANYONE still reading this garbage novel?

    One guy? Shall we continue, my good man?

    Have you ever sceen the SNL sketch with Sully and Denise, the over affectionate Boston teenagers who scream NOMAAAHH?

    Yeah... they sat in front of me. I shit you not.

    Let me paint a picture.

    He's 6'2" tall wearing a blue (not green) Larry Bird jersey. Guns out. A sideways Sox hat and basketball shorts with socks and flipflops. She's 4'9"... WASTED... and Just Breathe comes on.

    I couldn't tell if the were grudge fucking each other or fighting or she was jerking him off while he choked her, but it was not pleasant or romatic for anyone. They were singing to each other like they were dying on the Titanic and these were their last moments on earth. I wish I had gotten it on camera.

    Back to the regularly scheduled Pearl Jam concert already on progress.

    So, Ed plays a couple slow tunes and then brings out Present Tense which as we all know is the perfect song to transistion from the slow stuff to the wicked hahd stuff.

    Which is exactly what happened... as Once came firing at us like a canon ball. Ed took to the crowd and held hands with people in the front row and Mike Fucking McCready... that evil genius ripped open the gapping wound he had already inflicted. He used his guitar like a scalpel and removed our skin and wore it like his own personal dress suit.

    Thats how good McCready was tonight. He murdered us, and wore our skin as a suit.

    BUT WAIT... there's more.

    Can I even write this? I feel weak and emotionally drained and we've got 8 songs to go.

    Suck it up!!!! Here we go again...

    State of Love and Trust comin' in hot watch your back. Hey oh hey oh hey oh....nah na na na heeeyyy!! And Mike goes nuts, AGAIN.

    Name the last time you got a George Clinton/ P-Funk rap during State of Love?

    Yeah... THAT happened

    Bowmp bowmp bowmp bowmp bowph bowmp... Winded is the sailor... drifting by the storm... Wounded is the organ he left... bloodied on the shore.

    I'm pretty sure this sums up the entire night. Just bloody and beaten by Pearl Jam.

    Black is a crowd sing along that never disappoints, if you didn't see/ hear the video of the guy outside Fenway during Black, its pretty cool to hear 30,000 people sing along. I mean... I heard it... because i was there, but to hear it outside like that was cool.

    ****NEEDLE SCRATCH**** 
    It has just been brought to my attention that whilst writing this at 7am still drunk, my brain shit itself, and mismembered the song. 
    The video outside Fenway of the crowd is Release not Black. Thanks for making me look bad hangover. 
    ****NEEDLE SCRATCH*****

    We are nearly complete with this god awful review. If you're still with me Anthony, you're a better man than most.

    Out comes Bill Janovitz from Buffalo Tom to play Taillights Fade from their 1992 album Let Me Come Over. I like this song, even though a solid portion of the auidence took a bathroom break right here. Ed REALLY pumps this song up and gives it a much harder edge than the bubble gum original.

    But here's the crazy part, BLOOD from out of the depths of hell... you can see why Blood gets less and less concert time as the years go on. Most people wouldn't be able to sing Blood and speak normally the following morning. I'm sure it's tough on Ed's voice.

    Last three songs get kicked off with the fun bouncy jingle Outta My Mind. This is pure fun... and the guys clearly enjoy these lighter "less serious" songs. Pearl Jam can be heavy at times so songs like this and Down are great.

    Midway through Alive, the house lights came up, and the band played on... Mike nailed another guitar bending solo while Matt, Jeff, Boom and Stone kept the ship on the right course as always. As stadium anthems go, you dont get much better than the crowd chanting ending to Alive.

    And at last, we've reach the end of the show with the house lights fully illuminating the entire stadium we say goodbye for now to Pearl Jam and ROCK OUT the door to Keep on Rockin' in the Free World.

    So... what have we learned kids?

    A few things.

    Mike might be a serial killer.

    Eddie Veddar is better than all of us.

    Nirvana tshirts at Pearl Jam concerts are stupid.

    I'm a long winded fuck who doesn't know dick about Pearl Jam.

    And Fenway Night 1 has been the beat show of the tour.

    Objectively speaking obviously.

    See you monkeyfuckers Tuesday!!!!

    **Add ons**
    Do yourself a favor and pay attention the the bass sized dildo Jeff shoves up your ass during P. Tense


    Post edited by BlackCircle on
    I'm like a tab
  • chadaw76chadaw76 Indianapolis Posts: 289
    Best review of anything. Ever!
    2000: Noblesville, IN
    2010: Noblesville, IN
    2011: PJ20 Night 1
    2013: Wrigley Field, Baltimore
    2014: St. Louis
    2016: Lexington, Fenway I, Wrigley I, Temple of the Dog - NYC
    2017: EV solo - Louisville
    2018: Wrigley 1
    2022: St. Louis
    2023: Austin 1 & 2
    2024: Vegas 1, Noblesville, IN
  • OceansJennyOceansJenny Manhattan, NY Posts: 3,171
    chadaw76 said:
    Best review of anything. Ever!
    :lol: I enjoyed this! :clap: BlackCircle
    DC '03 - Reading '04 - Philly '05 - Camden 1 '06 - DC '06 - E. Rutherford '06 - The Vic '07 - Lollapalooza '07 - DC '08 - EV DC 1 & 2 '08 (Met Ed!!) - EV Baltimore 1 & 2 '09 - EV NYC 1 '11 (Met Ed!) - Hartford '13 - GCF '15 - MSG 2 '16 - TOTD MSG '16 - Boston 1 & 2 '18 - SHN '21 - EV NYC 1 & 2 '22 - MSG '22
  • RunIntoTheRainRunIntoTheRain Texas Posts: 1,009
    Haha! Very entertaining review. Thanks. 
  • Massara133Massara133 Stettler AB Canada Posts: 430
    Good read :) Cheers
    10
  • nicknyr15nicknyr15 Posts: 7,638
    Well done. 
  • nostackedvinylnostackedvinyl Maine Posts: 857
    Fantastic. . . .just fantastic
    it's a fragile thing, this life we lead.

    05/24/06, 06/28/08, 06/30/08, 05/17/10, 09/07/11, 09/11/11, 09/12/11, 09/14/11, 09/15/11, 10/15/13, 10/16/13, 10/21/13, 10/22/13, 10/25/13, 10/27/13, 05/05/16, 05/08/16, 08/07/16, 09/02/18

    ev: 06/15/11
  • WaitnSince67WaitnSince67 Milton, Ontario Canada Posts: 79

    very well done sir!
    Washington, DC (June 14, 1998)
    Toronto 2 (May 12, 2016)
    Chicago 2 (August 22, 2016)
    Seattle Night 1 (August 08, 2018)
    Seattle Night 2 (August 10, 2018)
  • YourDirtisMyfoodYourDirtisMyfood Boston Posts: 4,377
    OP, maybe that was Nirvana fan's way of requesting Crop-duster?  Just saying.
  • DB15740DB15740 Westfield MA Posts: 70
    Holy shit, what a review!

    Haha...hilarious and you nailed it!  I hope you’re going again tomorrow night so I can read another OP.

    Cheers!!!
    Springfield MA 4/6/94; Hartford CT 9/13/98; Saratoga Springs NY 8/27/00;
    Albany NY 4/29/03; Mansfield MA 7/2/03; Mansfield MA 7/11/03; Boston MA 9/28/04;
    Hartford CT 5/13/06; Hartford CT 6/27/08; Hartford CT 5/15/10; Worcester MA 10/16/13; Hartford CT 10/25/13;
    Fenway I 8/5/16; Fenway II 8/7/16; Fenway I  9/2/18; Fenway II  9/4/18
  • ikiTikiT USA Posts: 11,007
    yeahbuddy


    Bristow 05132010 to Amsterdam 2 06132018
  • If you haven't visited his other thread, do your self a favor and get ready to Laugh Your FAO.
    http://community.pearljam.com/discussion/275530/update-thomas-the-anim-el-train-poster-steve-thomas-just-sent-me-a-message#latest
    That one is even better than this one.
    You're welcome.
    There's no need to say goodbye
  • Set II: 

    Pick your face up off the floor and raise your lighters.  For all you pussies out their, turn on your cell phone flashlights.  Fucking technology.  I love the guy beside me with the old school Bic who gave zero fucks and kept his flame going for the entire Tom Petty tribute.  

    I Won't Back Down is a cool thing to witness live.  Even with the smell of burning flesh lingering above me. 

    Is ANYONE still reading this garbage novel?

    One guy?  Shall we continue, my good man?

    Have you ever sceen the SNL sketch with Sully and Denise, the over affectionate Boston teenagers who scream NOMAAAHH?

    Yeah... they sat in front of me.  I shit you not.

    Let me paint a picture.

    He's 6'2" tall wearing a blue (not green) Larry Bird jersey.  Guns out.  A sideways Sox hat and basketball shorts with socks and flipflops.  She's 4'9"... WASTED... and Just Breathe comes on.

    I couldn't tell if the were grudge fucking each other or fighting or she was jerking him off while he choked her, but it was not pleasant or romatic for anyone.  They were singing to each other like they were dying on the Titanic and these were their last moments on earth. I wish I had gotten it on camera.

    Back to the regularly scheduled Pearl Jam concert already on progress. 

    So, Ed plays a couple slow tunes and then brings out Present Tense which as we all know is the perfect song to transistion from the slow stuff to the wicked hahd stuff. 

    Which is exactly what happened... as Once came firing at us like a canon ball.  Ed took to the crowd and held hands with people in the front row and Mike Fucking McCready... that evil genius ripped open the gapping wound he had already inflicted.  He used his guitar like a scalpel and removed our skin and wore it like his own personal dress suit.  

    Thats how good McCready was tonight.  He murdered us, and wore our skin as a suit.

    BUT WAIT... there's more.

    Can I even write this?  I feel weak and emotionally drained and we've got 8 songs to go.  

    Suck it up!!!! Here we go again...

    State of Love and Trust comin' in hot watch your back.  Hey oh hey oh hey oh....nah na na na heeeyyy!! And Mike goes nuts, AGAIN.

    Bowmp bowmp bowmp bowmp bowph bowmp... Winded is the sailor... drifting by the storm... Wounded is the organ he left... bloodied on the shore.

    I'm pretty sure this sums up the entire night.  Just bloody and beaten by Pearl Jam.

    Black is a crowd sing along that never disappoints, if you didn't see/ hear the video of the guy outside Fenway during Black, its pretty cool to hear 30,000 people sing along.  I mean... I hear it... because i was there, but to hear it outside like that was cool.

    We are nearly complete with this god awful review.  If you're still with me Anthony, you're a better man than most.

    Out comes Bill Janovitz from Buffalo Tom to play Taillights Fade from their 1992 album Let Me Come Over.  I like this song, even though a solid portion of the auidence took a bathroom break right here.  Ed REALLY pumps this song up and gives it a much harder edge than the bubble gum original.  

    But here's the crazy part, BLOOD from out of the depths of hell... you can see why Blood gets less and less concert time as the years go on.  Most people wouldn't  be able to sing Blood and speak normally the following morning.  I'm sure it's tough on Ed's voice. 

    Last three songs get kicked off with the fun bouncy jingle Outta My Mind.  This is pure fun... and the guys clearly enjoy these lighter "less serious" songs.  Pearl Jam can be heavy at times so songs like this and Down are great.

    Midway through Alive, the house lights came up, and the band played on... Mike nailed another guitar bending solo while Matt, Jeff, Boom and Stone kept the ship on the right course as always.  As stadium anthems go, you dont get much better than the crowd chanting ending to Alive. 

    And at last, we've reach the end of the show with the house lights fully illuminating the entire stadium we say goodbye for now to Pearl Jam and ROCK OUT the door to Keep on Rockin' in the Free World. 

    So... what have we learned kids?

    A few things.  

    Mike might be a serial killer.  

    Eddie Veddar is better than all of us.

    Nirvana tshirts at Pearl Jam concerts are stupid.

    I'm a long winded fuck who doesn't know dick about Pearl Jam.

    And Fenway Night 1 has been the beat show of the tour.

    Objectively speaking obviously.  

    See you monkeyfuckers Tuesday!!!!
    Good fun!
    See you Tuesday!
    P.S. We had a Bic lighter guy, too!
  • Trading StoriesTrading Stories Boston Posts: 84
    This review is horse shit! I’m from Bahhston and gotta say that Mind ya mannahs was awesome! Mccready rocked and my girlfiend loved hearing dauugghhtaaa. Reminds her of her childhood. It’s ok. I’m upset they didnt play gahhhden
    Hartford 9/13/98, Montreal 6/29/03, Mansfield 7/2/03 7/3/03 7/11/03, Boston 9/28/04, Hartford 6/27/08, Mansfield 6/28/08 6/30/08, Chicago 8/24/09, Boston 5/17/10, East Troy 9/3/11 9/4/11, Worcester 10/15 10/16, Hartford 10/25 Fenway 1&2 EV - Boston 8/1 8/2, Albany 8/6
  • mwplummwplum Posts: 1,501
    Hat's off...great review!
    1992-07-21 Vancouver
    1993-9-4 Vancouver
    1996-9-16 Seattle
    1998-7-19 Vancouver, 7-21 Seattle, Memorial Stadium
    2000-11-6 Seattle
    2001-10-22 Seattle
    2002 -12-09 Seattle
    2009-8-17 Manchester, 9-25 Vancouver
    2011-6-16 Seattle (EV), 9-3/4 PJ20, 9-25 Vancouver
    2012-6-27 Amsterdam (#2!)
    2013-11-29 Portland, 12-4 Vancouver, 12-6 Seattle
    2014-AUS - 1-26 Sydney, 1-31 Adelaide, 2-11/12 EV Sydney State Theatre, 2-13 EV Opera House
    2014 - USA - Memphis, Detroit, MOLINE, St. Paul, MILWAUKEE, Denver, 25/26 Bridge School
    2016 - Lexington, Philly x 2, MSG x 2, Quebec City, Ottawa, Toronto x 2, Pemberton, Fenway x 2, Wrigley x 2
    2018 - Seattle x 2, Missoula, Fenway x 2
  • KN219077KN219077 Montana Posts: 891
    Thanks for the laugh
  • Well done. But you’d better seek out an aroma therapist. The affects haven’t worn off yet I guess.
    TRANSPLANTS SAVE LIVES
    www.UNOS.org
    Donate Organs and Save a Life
  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
    OP, maybe that was Nirvana fan's way of requesting Crop-duster?  Just saying.
    TOUCHE sir.

    Touche
    I'm like a tab
  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
    This review is horse shit! I’m from Bahhston and gotta say that Mind ya mannahs was awesome! Mccready rocked and my girlfiend loved hearing dauugghhtaaa. Reminds her of her childhood. It’s ok. I’m upset they didnt play gahhhden
    I LOVE MYM!!!

    That was a great version.

    A lot of fans dont like the new stuff... was my point. 
    I'm like a tab
  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
    DB15740 said:
    Holy shit, what a review!I-85

    Haha...hilarious and you nailed it!  I hope you’re going again tomorrow night so I can read another OP.

    Cheers!!!
    Yuuuppp...

    I'll be there.


    Ill have  2 hours on the plane to craft my final review of the tour.
    I'm like a tab
  • ikiTikiT USA Posts: 11,007
    HILARIOUS and no doubt ALL TRUE

    BUT WAIT...there's more.
    Bristow 05132010 to Amsterdam 2 06132018
  • CO278952CO278952 Orlando, FL Posts: 1,225
    edited September 2018
    Show was great. Awesome review!
    4.17.94 Paramount 9.28.96 Randall's Island 8.25.00 Jones Beach 4.28.03 Spectrum 7.5.03 Camden 7.6.03 Camden
    07.08.03 MSG 07.09.03 MSG 7.12.03 Hershey 7.14.03 Holmdel 6.12.08 Tampa 10.19.13 Brooklyn 4.11.16 Tampa
    5.1.16 MSG 5.2.16 MSG 8.7.16 Fenway 9.2.18 Fenway 9.4.18 Fenway 9.11.22 MSG 9.16.22 Nashville 9.18.23 Austin 9.19.23 Austin
  • Dude...brilliant review. have tears rolling down my face specially after reading about Sully and Denise grudge fucking. LOL
    Boston 04.10.94 - Boston Garden
    Boston 08.07.16 - Fenway
    Boston 09.02.18 &  09.04.18 - Fenway
  • sad1170sad1170 Brooklyn, NY Posts: 6
    Hilarious! Great review of an awesome show. BTW...did you see McLovin in the house? I’m guessing you would have somehow worked him into this review if you did.
  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NC Posts: 371
    sad1170 said:
    Hilarious! Great review of an awesome show. BTW...did you see McLovin in the house? I’m guessing you would have somehow worked him into this review if you did.
    The actor from the movie?  No I missed it.
    I'm like a tab
  • pjrusspjruss Posts: 449
    I think I unintentionally got a pic of Kenny Mayne as I was taking this picture of the green monster....not 100% sure, but it looks like him
  • sad1170sad1170 Brooklyn, NY Posts: 6
    pjruss said:
    I think I unintentionally got a pic of Kenny Mayne as I was taking this picture of the green monster....not 100% sure, but it looks like him
    Yup that’s him. I kept hearing his name being mentioned but didn’t see him.
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