Narcissistic abuse awareness day is June 1st

blondieblue227 · May 2018

Narcissistic abuse awareness day is June 1st

Just thought I'd share this since Pearl Jam's lyrics was all I had for so many years to help me survive when I was a kid.

This blog entry has a registration link for the 2018 Survivor Empowerment Telesummit, hosted by World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD).

http://parenting.exposed/narcissistic-abuse-awareness-day-june-1st-2018-save-the-children/

#IfMyWoundsWereVisible
#WorldNarcissisticAbuseAwarenessDay
#WNAAD
#ProjectSemicolon
#MentalHealthAwareness

tempo_n_groove · May 2018

Didn't know that this existed.

Than you for sharing!

blondieblue227 · May 2018

yup. it's the 2nd year i think. brand new awareness day. age old abuse.
i'll be posting my story on my facebook timeline tomorrow. friend me or not. the post will be public thru the weekend.

https://www.facebook.com/ivy.kennedy

blondieblue227 · June 2018

I hope a *bump* is still allowed. i haven't been in the pit in awhile.

blondieblue227 · June 2018

my last *bump*. have a great weekend folks.

~ Take care of one another. ~

tempo_n_groove · June 2018

blondieblue227 said:

I hope a *bump* is still allowed. i haven't been in the pit in awhile.

Friendly bumps of course are welcome!

blondieblue227 · June 2018

thanks!

one must know pit etiquette. lol

lastexitlondon · June 2018

I have joined a family where a narc has run riot and controlled all of them. Never came across one before the last 4 years. Ruined lives. And mine to an extent

blondieblue227 · June 2018

i'm deeply sorry.

you might've come across one and not even known it, they hide it with being charming.

it's all i've known. both sides of my family have it.

there's the

The golden child

The scapegoat

The Runner - which i am. so i've gotten away from it but it has left it's scabs that don't really heal ... when my Complex PTSD is triggered.

blondieblue227 · June 2018

and it's hard not to be able to go full No Contact because of the way the lawyers set up a special needs trust. BUT in the past three years this is the most No Contact i've ever been.

lastexitlondon · June 2018

I realised my dad is one and cut him off a year ago

blondieblue227 · June 2018

it's so hard to cut a family member out of your life you know is still alive but you gotta pretend they're dead to protect yourself.

blondieblue227 · June 2018

ohh! alright. here's my story. lol!

please know before you read it, i wrote to 10c when i was 13. the letter was how much i loved PJ, etc. 10c offered to send me a limo to drive me to their show in fairfax VA (1994) i think it was. i know now it was because of narcissistic behavior that my parents said no. a few ago i finally made peace with that moment in time. i'm proud of myself. gotta a lot more to be at peace with. i'm working on it. it's an inside job.

I'm a narcissistic child abuse survivor. What's in the link below is the first time I've seen it written into words. This type of abuse is nearly impossible for a child to explain. I'm an adult, and I still can not explain it to a person. This is what it sounds like, this is an example of why it's impossible to tell another, a 11 year old Ivy says, “I don't want to be like them when I grow up.” (Ivy knows she can't tell anybody her parents are mean because they are so charming in public.) Another teenage girl with normal growing pains say, “OMG, I can't stand my Mom. I hate her. I hope I'm never like her.” Think about those two quotes, they are very similar, only one is coming from a child who is being abused. When I did voice to another about the abuse I only sounded like a whinny little brat. Here's a couple of lines I've said as an adult. I can easily see how the comments wouldn't stick and fly over somebody's head. “They act different when people are around.” and “They are putting on a show for you.” I tried to tell people I was being abused at age 16. Unfortunately, because of the nature of a narcissist, nobody believed me. So by the time I was 17, after many years of enduring the abuse I had a nervous breakdown and was sent to a mental health hospital. I missed a lot of school. I shouldn't have graduated with my class. I'm sharing this for one reason, so, “MAYBE SOMEDAY ANOTHER CHILD WON'T FEEL AS ALONE AS SHE DOES, it's been two years and counting, since they put her in this place, she's been diagnosed by some stupid fuck, and mommy agrees. Why go home?” Pearl Jam, “Why Go”. Before anything else, I had Pearl Jam lyrics to let me know I wasn't alone. Their lyrics seemed to zero in exactly on this unexplainable invisible abuse. I knew something was wrong when I was very young. .... I'm talking age 7. Pearl Jam came along and a lot of their early lyrics validated my feelings. I didn't know the abuse had a name until much later.

When the abuse is at its worse, it feels like they secretly want me dead and they'll do a real good job of nearly killing me without laying a single finger on me. On a good day, I know their script. I know exactly what they will say before they say it and I'll have to concentrate hard to keep from rolling my eyes and/or busting out in laughter.

When you're a child you learn not to have an identity. If you do discover yourself you know darn well you had better hide it from your parents. (Ruth still describes our mother and daughter relationship as the Two Headed Monster. Because in her eyes, I'm an extension of her. I am Ruth, not Ivy.) The set up is backward. The adults are to be the center of the child's' world. You are to know what they want before they know. The moment you stop making them the center of your universe they no longer have any use for you. If you wait it out, they'll forget about you all together. Neglect is easier than the abuse. You want to be neglected by your parents. To borrow from Dr. Phill, your parents are not A Safe Place To Fall. Meaning you know not to go them for advice or for life skills, such as what to do when your car battery dies or how to replace a clapper in the toilet, etc. Something simple turns into a stressful dramatic ordeal, because of their need to make it about them. I'm assuming many who have survived narcissistic child abuse, don't know how to build a healthy and safe circle of support to go to when simple life advice is needed.

Two things to know about a narcissist is they lack empathy and will put themselves first in any given situation.

Three things to know about narcissistic child abuse, It is invisible, it is nearly impossible for the victim to explain, it is handed down from one generation to the next.

Terms to know:

The Scapegoat
The Golden Child
The Runner
Flying Monkeys
Gaslighting
Projection

Circular Conversations
Smear Campaigns
Narcissistic Supply
Complex PTSD
No Contact
Grey Rock

blondieblue227 · June 2018

(Honorable Mention 1 of 3: My disability. Some people pity or find it inspirational. Puke. What's inspirational is how I survived and now cope with the aftermath of this abuse. What is a pity is that this personality disorder even exists. What is a pity is that this abuse is unrecognizable. If you must insist that my disability is inspirational, then it is an inspiration to have achieved so much while managing the narcissistic abuse from my parents. What is inspirational that I've learned so much and I'm far enough away from the abuse to be typing this. My disability prevented suicide attempts. When I was young, disability put adults in my life that somewhat filled the hole my parents were unable to fill. Due to my disability I have Personal Care Attendants. When they were present, it forced them into Charming Mode. Even though I knew it was it was fake, it was a break from the abuse. Though on rare occasions it had an adverse effect. It was like a volcano waiting to explode, and it sure did as soon as my attendant would leave. Let me tell you, you have not lived until you have witnessed a full blown narcissistic adult temper tantrum. Lol! My disability gave me automatic access to a cool club, the disability community. I don't have to do a darn thing to belong there, it is great! Because of my involvement with disability advocacy I heard over and over again that I had rights and that I belonged. With disability advocacy I used my voice during public speaking, which was the start of repairing my self-esteem and self-worth. (I got so much praise after a public comment, but again as I said earlier, it was tricky because I had to hide it the best I could because Ruth would tear me a new one verbally.) My disability gave me access to programs and supports that helped me to become even more independent then I already was. Though maybe at times I was looked upon as “Wow, Ivy is so independent! It's wonderful.” I had to be, I had no choice. My independent skills were born out of neglect. Still to this day, if a parent asks me, “How to I teach my child with a disability to do ______ ? My answer will be, “Leave them the tools to do it and a few other nick knacks. Then leave the room for A LONG time. I'm talking a hour or three.” A horrifying thought to some parents, I'm sure. Lol! Without my disability, my tribe never would have found me. They are the ONLY reason why I am still here.

Honorable Mention 2 of 3: Hurricane Matthew. I've concluded what went on on my first day on this planet from how 98.2% of my family reacted and what took place in the months after the house flooded. If there was a minuscule of a chance that narcissistic abusive behavior played a part of the acquisition of my disability, I'm sure it did. I'm glad I won't wonder about the day I was so-called born anymore. (I don't relate to the term born much because I was dead for 5 or 9 minutes. I wasn't born, I was brought back to life.) Joke’s on the lawyers on that one, they didn't know my parents were narcissists. Though due to the lawyers / Disability World, it is the only remaining reason why I’m unable to go 100% No Contact. I'd been a pro at Grey Rock a decade before I knew there was a term for it. As I've said before, I knew something was wrong when I was young but if it hadn't been for Matthew Hurricane I would still not knew the name of the abuse. Without the name, I couldn't have studied it and found other survivors which have turned into a source of support. Knowledge is not healing, I realize that.

Honorable Mention 3 of 3: WWRC. I don't have many positive things to say about the place. But they did find an extra bed and made room for me when I begged them not to send me home while I waited for a seat in their drafting class to open up. I remember trying to explain by using words like emotional abuse and phrases like, “I'm left alone a lot.” Back then I was being shuffled around every 5 days between 4 locations. One of them being a teeny tiny trailer in Cary's front yard. He had one of those temper tandems I mentioned earlier when he wanted to have a house built on his property for me using the “Special Disability World” lawyer money, and I told him no. I remember screaming, “You say I'm a burden, so why do want me to live anywhere near you?!” That's one more thing to know about narcissists, they will contradict themselves constantly. Finally of course, WWRC is where I met Brian. We saved each other in so many ways.)

DISCLAIMER: This section is NOT to perpetuate this perception.

I've been called evil. My disability has been called the devil. .... to my face. Strangers in the street harass me and Brian, “Can I pray for you?” or “Jesus can save you!” or “You can be healed from your affliction.” If you study the Bible, parallels between the devil and narcissism can be drawn. So the empath that I am understands their way of thinking. If you study Disability History you will find evil as an old world way at perceiving disability. If my disability is the devil, they've got the wrong person. It ain't me man! Here, here's my parents contact information. Go, go get that devil! LMAO! Right before my nervous breakdown, I was bombarded with religion. In my opinion, religion only made the gas lighting I was already enduring that much worse. Any religion has a high potential for herd behavior. Those last three sentences is why I'm disinclined to religion. I am spiritual. I am connected with a higher power. I have beliefs that keep me going. Some of my best supporters are people of faith.

PURPOSE OF MY POST:

Know the 3 personality disorder clusters and if you can possibly save a child from this bullshit, do it.

P.S. Watch the videos in the first few comments.

#IfMyWoundsWereVisible

#WorldNarcissisticAbuseAwarenessDay

#WNAAD

#ProjectSemicolon

#MentalHealthAwareness

#BreakTheCycle

(To the hand full of people who do love me and are reading this: I'm fine. Don't be alarmed. This is just me growing. This is not a newsflash for the people that love me anyway, they already know. To all others: If you are reading this and it freaks you the fuck out, GOOD!)

Narcissistic abuse awareness day June 1st 2018 – save the children

http://parenting.exposed/narcissistic-abuse-awareness-day-june-1st-2018-save-the-children/

The childhood origins of narcissism

A long time ago it hit me that their parents must have not given them enough attention. I was almost right.

This video explains it better:

https://youtu.be/SeVj_0r0swg

Unpacking Narcissism

"Children who grow up with narcissistic parents are often conditioned to become narcissists themselves or, conversely, empaths who tend to feel the feelings of others too readily."

https://www.carlagoldenwellness.com/2015/07/06/unpacking-narcissism/

The Empath In Recovery: Step 1 - Calm Your Nervous System

I wish I would have known this when I was 12 years old:

https://youtu.be/tb6pxGK6mF8

Narcissistic abuse awareness day is June 1st

Comments