Corny Jokes

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017

  a guy tries to catch up to the fog. 
  
  he mist. 

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,601

  August 2017

  Why can't you take pokemon to the bathroom?
  
  Because he might pikachu

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  tempo_n_groove Posts: 39,015

  August 2017

  Pirate walks into bar with a steering wheel around his neck.  Walks up to the bar and says "aiiee spot o rum"
  
  Bartender says "this ones on me but I gotta know, what's up with the steering wheel?"
  
  Pirate replies "Arrrrgghhh, it's driving me nuts..."

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  Cliffy6745 Posts: 33,601

  August 2017

  What country has the fastest growing population?
  
  Ireland. Every year it's Dublin

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  PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,539

  August 2017

  There were two peanuts walking down the street. One was a salted.
  

  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata

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  PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885

  August 2017

  What do you call a fish with no I?
  fsh
  
  

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  tempo_n_groove Posts: 39,015

  August 2017

  PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

  What do you call a fish with no I?
  fsh
  
  

  I liked this one, lol!!!!

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  markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,105

  August 2017

  How does the sun cut his hair?
  
  Eclipse it.
  
  Actually heard that one today as people are going stupid-crazy about the upcoming eclipse. 

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  HesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,418

  August 2017

  What do you call a fly without wings?
  
  
  A walk.
  

  Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 (xx) / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24

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  PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,539

  August 2017

  Why did the Scarecrow get promoted?

  Because he was out standing!

  
  

  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata

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  Annafalk Sweden Posts: 4,004

  August 2017 edited August 2017

  Two "criminal" pins was out walking, suddenly the pin said to the other.
  - Watch out !, there's a safety pin coming!

  Post edited by Annafalk on August 2017

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  HesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,418

  August 2017

  I once submitted 10 corny jokes to a contest, hoping one would win.  No pun in ten did.
  

  Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 (xx) / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24

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  PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,539

  August 2017

  What do you call it when Batman skips church?
  
  Christian bail.
  

  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017

  Knock Knock
  Who's there?
  Interrupting cow
  Interrupt----
  MOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017 edited August 2017

  What do you call a computer that sings?
  
  Adele

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017 edited August 2017

  why couldn't the ghost have kids?
  
  cuz he had a hollow weenie

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017

  what kind of bees make milk?
  
  boobies

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  HesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,418

  August 2017

  If Tim Tebow has a thought, is it a Christian Ponder?
  

  Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 (xx) / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24

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  2-feign-reluctance TigerTown, USA Posts: 23,143

  August 2017

  this one should be merged with the pick up lines thread.
  

  www.cluthelee.com

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  2-feign-reluctance TigerTown, USA Posts: 23,143

  August 2017

  3 men walk into a bar, the 3rd guy ducks.
  

  www.cluthelee.com

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  HughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,833

  August 2017

  this is my stepladder. 
  
  I never knew my real ladder. 

  Flight Risk out NOW!
  
  www.headstonesband.com
  
  
  
  
  

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  BLACK35 Hanover, Ontario Posts: 22,470

  August 2017

  Is it ok to pay a midget under the table?

  2005 - London
  2009 - Toronto
  2010 - Buffalo
  2011 - Toronto 1&2
  2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
  2014 - Cincinnati, St. Louis, Detroit
  2016 - Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Ottawa, Toronto 1
  2018 - Fenway 1&2
  2022 - Hamilton, Toronto
  2023 - Chicago 1&2

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  Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,073

  August 2017

  Why don't people like goats?
  Because they think they are the greatest of all time.
  

  So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
  Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  

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  mace1229 Posts: 9,008

  August 2017

  Everyone knows part 1 of this joke, but I never know anyone who knows part 2.
  1. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? "Damn!"
  2. What did the wall say? "Dum-bass"

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  hauntingfamiliar Wilmington, NC Posts: 10,217

  August 2017

  What do you call a blind deer?
  No-eye deer.
  What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
  Still no-eye deer.

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  PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 49,539

  August 2017

  What did the limestone say to the geologist?
  
  Don't take me for ganite!
  

  With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata

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  eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 40,878

  August 2017

  Why don't zombies eat clowns?
  cause they taste funny
  
  Why did the man put his hot dog in a sweater?
  cause it was a chili dog
  

  
  8/28/98- Camden, NJ
  10/31/09- Philly
  5/21/10- NYC
  9/2/12- Philly, PA
  7/19/13- Wrigley
  10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
  10/21/13- Philly, PA
  10/22/13- Philly, PA
  10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
  Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly
  Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly

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  PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885

  August 2017

  This one works great on your teenage daughters friends.
  
  Where do cows go on a date?
  To the mooovies.
  
  

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  brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,719

  August 2017

  Q:  How many husks in a stalk?
  
  A: I don't know, Kernel  
  

  “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

  Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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  vogonpoetbythelake Posts: 2,146

  August 2017

  Q: what are Black Beards favorite socks?
  A: aaarrrggyle

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