PJSoul, that is so bizarre about your friend! What a scary experience. I used to love to fly and then one day I became deathly afraid of it, for no reason. Now, every time there's the slightest turbulence, I clutch the arm rests, close my eyes real tight and pray. I'm sure that's not comforting to those sitting around me. Either that or I make awful, corny jokes (At least you didn't hit a Flock of Seagulls).
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,711
Brian....Daaaaaamn!!! You must have a whole army of guardian angels or something. That list is just insane!
Dan...well, you know.
Glad you're all still here with us.
I believe I mentioned a few close calls in the ghosts thread, but aside from those, the two that come to mind are...
When I was 19, we were having a pool party at the hotel where I worked at the time. I can't actually swim, but I can doggy paddle so that's what I was doing back and forth. I'd only had 1 beer so definitely wasn't drunk but for some reason I sank straight to the bottom in the deep end. Luckily one of my Marine buddies noticed me missing and dove down to get me. Other than a bloody nose, I was fine but he definitely saved me.
When I was only 4 days old, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table breastfeeding me. My parents lived with my father's parents and his mother absolutely despised my mother and the fact that she had a baby with my father. On that day, my "grandmother" grabbed a butcher knife and threw it at my mother, missing my head by only an inch. My father tackled and restrained her and she got carted off to the loony bin, straight jacket and all.
Grateful to be alive. Beyond grateful to be as blessed as I have been along the way.
Just the thought of that knife flying by your head, Rogue... damn! Glad it missed you!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
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F Me In The Brain
this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,619
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
The love he receives is the love that is saved
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,711
I was in a plane over Manhattan, having just taken off from JFK, and our plane hit a flock of birds. It was a VERY harrowing return back to the airport, with the engine cutting in and out, the plane kept dropping suddenly, and clearly the pilots were really struggling to keep it in the air long enough to get back to JFK. I truly thought I was going to die. Even the flight crew was flipping out and clearly terrified, which I found understandable but very unprofessional. Obviously we made it back to the airport, barely. Perhaps I should have felt comforted when I looked out the window and saw all the firetrucks and ambulances chasing our plane down the runway as we came in to land, but that actually freaked me out too. Anyway, I can't say this experience did anything good for me. I used to really enjoy flying - I always saw it as an adventure and great fun and pretty amazing, but now I'm just a really nervous flyer, to the point where I feel sick, so that sucks.
One thing I did realize, though, was that it actually matters who you're sitting next to when you think you're going to die, and how they deal with the situation has an impact on the moment. I was traveling with my good friend. Earlier that day, while we were killing time before our flight, we went to Madame Tussaud's wax museum (it was lame). While there, we went into the chamber of horrors or whatever - one of those haunted houses where people in costume scare you. Well, to my great surprise, my adult friend FREAKED OUT. I'm talking crying, screaming, blubbering, hyperventilating, grabbing onto strangers and just begging to get out. She was literally acting like she was going to die. I've never seen anything like it. I actually had to tell the guy with the chainsaw to back off because my friend was having a mental breakdown. It was very embarrassing. So you'd think she'd absolutely flip while we're in a plane that seems to be crashing into Manhattan, right? Nope. She sat there acting like everything was just fine, like literally as though nothing was happening. As I dealt with what I thought were the last moments of my life, I looked to her for some kind of connection or mutual understanding, and she literally just shrugged it off and said "meh."...... My reaction to this was internalized rage. I was SO mad that I was about to die and the person I was with was so indifferent or oblivious to or in denial about the situation. In that moment, I thought to myself, "Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe I have to die with this idiot next to me who goes ballistic and thinks she's going to die in a stupid wax museum, but has absolutely no reaction and is in complete denial about being in a plane that's about to hit Manhattan. Stupid cow!!!" I was so angry about the illogical absurdity and indifference it was lending to what I thought were my last moments. I told her my feelings about it later. She had no excuses, hahaha. She understood where I was coming from, and to this day she can't explain her bizarre reversal of fear priorities.
Scary! I would have lost it having a friend like yours next to me. Glad you made it through safely!
Flying is scary as hell. I've said I'd never fly again but if I had to , dope me up!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,711
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
My Pop worked for United Air Lines and even though as a kid his salary wasn't great, we got to fly for dirt cheap so we did get up there a number of times. Every time we hit turbulence I went through the white knuckle/sweating/heart pounding business. I just hated it! Then I'd look over at Pop and he'd be calmly reading a magazine like he was at home on a quiet night. Made me nuts! He had no fear in the air. UAL took him and a couple of guys up in a new plane (a Boeing jet but I can't remember which one) to test it for drop rate at engine stall. They went up there, cut the engines and let 'er drop. He came back telling us about this like a kid who got a brand new bike or something. Made me crazy!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
This is quite insightful and wise, actually. I mean, just as people react to grief in their own way, same goes for that kind of situation. I think I'd be pissed trying to keep a hold of my panic with someone else freaking out next to me.
Moot point anyway. No more flying for me.
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F Me In The Brain
this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,619
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
My Pop worked for United Air Lines and even though as a kid his salary wasn't great, we got to fly for dirt cheap so we did get up there a number of times. Every time we hit turbulence I went through the white knuckle/sweating/heart pounding business. I just hated it! Then I'd look over at Pop and he'd be calmly reading a magazine like he was at home on a quiet night. Made me nuts! He had no fear in the air. UAL took him and a couple of guys up in a new plane (a Boeing jet but I can't remember which one) to test it for drop rate at engine stall. They went up there, cut the engines and let 'er drop. He came back telling us about this like a kid who got a brand new bike or something. Made me crazy!
Yeah I would not want to test out the drop rate at engine stall. Ever!
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
My Pop worked for United Air Lines and even though as a kid his salary wasn't great, we got to fly for dirt cheap so we did get up there a number of times. Every time we hit turbulence I went through the white knuckle/sweating/heart pounding business. I just hated it! Then I'd look over at Pop and he'd be calmly reading a magazine like he was at home on a quiet night. Made me nuts! He had no fear in the air. UAL took him and a couple of guys up in a new plane (a Boeing jet but I can't remember which one) to test it for drop rate at engine stall. They went up there, cut the engines and let 'er drop. He came back telling us about this like a kid who got a brand new bike or something. Made me crazy!
Yeah I would not want to test out the drop rate at engine stall. Ever!
I kind of experienced it one on a UAL "ferry flight" when I was maybe 10 years old. The airline briefly went on strike when we were back east and the only flights available were to ferry employees. The pilot of our plane didn't realize there were kids on board so he had a little fun by taking the plane up at a steep angle and then leveling off abruptly. It felt as though we were falling rapidly and my brother and sister and I were totally freaked out and crying. We thought we were going to die. The pilot soon learned there were kids on board and felt badly so he invited us to come up to the cockpit. My brother and sister were wise to accept the invitation. Me, being the rebellious black sheep thought, "Fuck that, I'm not going up there." I sort of wish I had.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Turbulence won't cause the plane to crash. (Birds might, though.) I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead. My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
I guess, but the thing is, it never even crossed her mind that she might die or that the plane might not make it back to the airport (also meaning that she had no thoughts about dealing with impact, getting out of the plane okay if necessary, etc). It's not like she thought, "Oh, this is bad but there is nothing I can do." It was more like, "This is nothing because nothing bad could ever happen to me." It doesn't seem to have been a coping mechanism, but rather an inability to understand that something bad in fact could happen to her. It never occurred to her that there was anything actually wrong. Now that I think about it, she didn't even believe the flight crew about what happened until I pointed out the bird guts all over the plane after we landed. She's like one of those people who would stand there in a hurricane taking photos right up to the point where a giant piece of siding decapitates her, lol! Her total indifference pissed me off, but I also feel like her attitude actually made her one of the dumb dangerous people in an emergency - the one who just stands there being useless, hahaha. Adrenalin has a purpose, and hers just wasn't kicking in.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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F Me In The Brain
this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 30,619
Yeah, sounds like perhaps your friend has other attributes than her brains.
The love he receives is the love that is saved
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goldrush
everybody knows this is nowhere Posts: 7,277
I've only had 2 that spring to mind (thankfully!)
When I was younger and more stupiderer I used to crowd surf, especially at festivals. During Rocket From The Crypt's set at Reading 96 I was at it again. It would probably either have been Young Livers or On A Rope because everyone was going nuts (Scream, Dracula, Scream was out and RFTC had some hit singles in the UK). Without any warning at all I suddenly went from happily being thrown along to being flat on my back on the floor. The crowd just parted and I dropped to the ground. I have a very vague memory of boots in my face and on my chest (it seemed that everyone wore Doc Martens in 96) and feeling like I was suffocating then, nothing. When I regained consciousness I was in the St John's Ambulance tent behind the stage. Apparently one of the security guys had seen what was happening and dived into the crowd after me and pulled me out. I was lucky as hell to escape that with just bruises and a few banged up ribs, it could have been so much worse. I only crowd surfed one more time after that, the very next night (I told you - young and stupid!) but my ribs hurt like hell and I freaked out. I used to help 'launch' people up onto the crowd if they wanted to surf but I was always mindful of watching to see if anyone fell after that.
The second time was the summer of 2002. I woke up on a Sunday morning struggling to breathe. By the time i got to hospital I could literally just take tiny gasps of air and that was it. The doctor diagnosed a particularly shitty case of pleuropneumonia (pneumonia complicated by pleurisy). My girlfriend's mum worked at the hospital and I overheard the doctor telling her that there was a chance I could have died in my sleep. Not exactly the words you want to hear!
“Do not postpone happiness”
(Jeff Tweedy, Sydney 2007)
“Put yer good money on the sunrise”
(Tim Rogers)
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,711
When I was younger and more stupiderer I used to crowd surf, especially at festivals. During Rocket From The Crypt's set at Reading 96 I was at it again. It would probably either have been Young Livers or On A Rope because everyone was going nuts (Scream, Dracula, Scream was out and RFTC had some hit singles in the UK). Without any warning at all I suddenly went from happily being thrown along to being flat on my back on the floor. The crowd just parted and I dropped to the ground. I have a very vague memory of boots in my face and on my chest (it seemed that everyone wore Doc Martens in 96) and feeling like I was suffocating then, nothing. When I regained consciousness I was in the St John's Ambulance tent behind the stage. Apparently one of the security guys had seen what was happening and dived into the crowd after me and pulled me out. I was lucky as hell to escape that with just bruises and a few banged up ribs, it could have been so much worse. I only crowd surfed one more time after that, the very next night (I told you - young and stupid!) but my ribs hurt like hell and I freaked out. I used to help 'launch' people up onto the crowd if they wanted to surf but I was always mindful of watching to see if anyone fell after that.
The second time was the summer of 2002. I woke up on a Sunday morning struggling to breathe. By the time i got to hospital I could literally just take tiny gasps of air and that was it. The doctor diagnosed a particularly shitty case of pleuropneumonia (pneumonia complicated by pleurisy). My girlfriend's mum worked at the hospital and I overheard the doctor telling her that there was a chance I could have died in my sleep. Not exactly the words you want to hear!
Close calls there, goldrush!
I'm either surprised that more people aren't hurt of killed in mosh pits or I just haven't heard all the stories. In my younger concert going days, quite often everybody just kind of sat on the floor or in their seats, grooved to the music and behaved. By the time slam dancing came along, I was a bit older and settled for balcony seats. Had I been born later, I would probably have been roughed up pretty good! I'm glad you got through that one alright!
And getting through the pleuropneumonia! I've had bot pleurisy and pneumonia but not at the same time. I can only imagine how rough that was. Glad you got through it ok!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Comments
CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy
DBT - dialectical behavior therapy
EMDR - eye movement and desensitization processing
Won't attempt to summarize when EMDR is described better here. http://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/
I fly constantly and I hate it. Hate it, so hard. Just accept it is part of what I need to do for the life that I choose to lead.
My hope would be that I would be the same as your friend in that circumstance, Soul, as there would be nothing I could do about the situation. (Perhaps that is why your friend reacted to a situation she could control (leave, get people to stop, etc) on the ground and why she accepted that whatever was going to happen in the air was completely beyond her control.)
Flying is scary as hell. I've said I'd never fly again but if I had to , dope me up!
Moot point anyway. No more flying for me.
When I was younger and more stupiderer I used to crowd surf, especially at festivals. During Rocket From The Crypt's set at Reading 96 I was at it again. It would probably either have been Young Livers or On A Rope because everyone was going nuts (Scream, Dracula, Scream was out and RFTC had some hit singles in the UK). Without any warning at all I suddenly went from happily being thrown along to being flat on my back on the floor. The crowd just parted and I dropped to the ground. I have a very vague memory of boots in my face and on my chest (it seemed that everyone wore Doc Martens in 96) and feeling like I was suffocating then, nothing.
When I regained consciousness I was in the St John's Ambulance tent behind the stage. Apparently one of the security guys had seen what was happening and dived into the crowd after me and pulled me out. I was lucky as hell to escape that with just bruises and a few banged up ribs, it could have been so much worse. I only crowd surfed one more time after that, the very next night (I told you - young and stupid!) but my ribs hurt like hell and I freaked out. I used to help 'launch' people up onto the crowd if they wanted to surf but I was always mindful of watching to see if anyone fell after that.
The second time was the summer of 2002. I woke up on a Sunday morning struggling to breathe. By the time i got to hospital I could literally just take tiny gasps of air and that was it. The doctor diagnosed a particularly shitty case of pleuropneumonia (pneumonia complicated by pleurisy). My girlfriend's mum worked at the hospital and I overheard the doctor telling her that there was a chance I could have died in my sleep. Not exactly the words you want to hear!
(Jeff Tweedy, Sydney 2007)
“Put yer good money on the sunrise”
(Tim Rogers)
I'm either surprised that more people aren't hurt of killed in mosh pits or I just haven't heard all the stories. In my younger concert going days, quite often everybody just kind of sat on the floor or in their seats, grooved to the music and behaved. By the time slam dancing came along, I was a bit older and settled for balcony seats. Had I been born later, I would probably have been roughed up pretty good! I'm glad you got through that one alright!
And getting through the pleuropneumonia! I've had bot pleurisy and pneumonia but not at the same time. I can only imagine how rough that was. Glad you got through it ok!