PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

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  • FifthelementFifthelement LotuslandPosts: 5,376

    mickeyrat said:
    its a hard thing to watch and wait for. My dog of 15 yrs seems to be on her way out.
    slipping in and out of consciousness.

    (((Hugs))) mickeyrat. I'm gutted for you.  May her end be peaceful.
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Miss.SnowdropMiss.Snowdrop ScotlandPosts: 133
    Im into week 4 now its my sons 19th birthday. Yesterday i ruined our early xmas dinner bec my tooth broke and i left my mums house upset leaving my children there.my mum put so much effort in and i left before it even begun. I upset everyone including myself. Previously i would have got very drunk
     I didn't . And as you all posted before "to feel" is painful. I feel it now. Pain. Guilt. Sorrow. Im trying so hard but i wanted to smash my face against a wall and hurt myself. Now its the next early morning i feel so much sorrow and i am desperate to survive with a hollow space where i feel like my life is soon to end. Sorry for this but its all honest
    I am sorry to hear you are in a dark place at the moment. I hope you are able to stay strong and resist the urge. Of course I do not know your family but I have discovered for myself that honesty can often work wonders. I am not in recovery from substance abuse but have other mental health issues and often get angry for no reason. Quite often at people who mean the world to me and usually it's not their fault. I might be under stress or simply disagree with them or their behaviour. But learning to recognize these moments and being able to apologise has become such a relief... 
    It simply clears the air and helps removing awkward interaction. The sooner I talk to people about the situation, the easier it is to resolve them. 

    I guess what I am trying to say is: you have the power to make it up to your family. If you can't face them, because you feel ashamed (and believe, I have been there), text them, send them an email - anything. You don't have to tell your kids, what exactly you are going through, but tell them you are having a rough time and were mad at yourself and you are sorry you let it out on them, but that it was wrong and you are sorry. That gesture will mean so much to them and you will feel so much better. Ask them how you can make it up to them. The worst you can do is let is fester and become bigger. Nip it in the butt, before that happens. And being able to admit when we're wrong is something we all could do more, I think we often don't want to feel vulnerable and put ourselves on the spot. But by doing exactly that we become the bigger and stronger person.  
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    I still feel like im failing my admiration is for the peaceful ones who live and love and laugh with a free spirit and mind. 

    Do any of us really have a free spirit and mind? Much of what we think we know about others is an illusion.
    yes, comparing our insides to others outsides is a sure way to beat yourself up.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Miss.SnowdropMiss.Snowdrop ScotlandPosts: 133
    Just read the anxiety threat...I should have done that before writing the above. Sorry about that. I wish I could help...
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,148
    rollings...my best of thoughts and a whole lotta love sent to you both.

    And to all struggling in their own ways.
  • So my dr questions me giving up drinking as not a good idea.....how can that be? Fuckin ridiculous.
    Because i suffer with extreme health anxiety. I now get no relief from symptoms and fear. So when i drank i would get a break
     Ffs. Im so confused still. My brain is a mess
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    So my dr questions me giving up drinking as not a good idea.....how can that be? Fuckin ridiculous.
    Because i suffer with extreme health anxiety. I now get no relief from symptoms and fear. So when i drank i would get a break
     Ffs. Im so confused still. My brain is a mess
    Assume you explained your reason why?

    I have only heard of one instance where a friend was told to keep drinking. He was so far gone into alcoholism. Dr said he shoud gradually taper off to prevent dt's. he was doing a half gallon of vodka daily.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Yes. My reason is to think clearer and to not need to drink. And also to be healthy. But im not mentally healthy. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Im feeling at one with not drinking today. 
    I just need to fix my brain then i want to fly
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
    Im feeling at one with not drinking today. 
    I just need to fix my brain then i want to fly
    Glad to hear man.
    One small step at a time.
    I like this meditation guide, sometimes I use it before bed and it relaxes me so much.
    You can use it whenever.

    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Thank you
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
    Thank you
    All good.
    Put some headphones, lay down in bed or the couch and breath.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    edited December 2017
    a good friend passed away wednesday. effects of copd. he was a quiet guy, a willing ear and a solid AA.

    helped me in many ways
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Sorry to hear this news mickey. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Im finding this hard now i approach 1 month. And this time of year is especially hard.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • I have had both ends of the spectrum in one day
     Weird. I felt sure this morning and not sure thos evening. Sleep i think
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • People fuckin test me. I swear.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    People fuckin test me. I swear.
    feels like it sometimes
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  •  Still going even though its hard
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 12,003
     Still going even though its hard
    You are one strong guy!
    Keep punching!
    Did you try mindfulness meditation?
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Ive decided to isolate myself from now until fuck knows. My brain is getting worse. I can't cope so its all i can do 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Be well my friends i have nothing but admiration for your inner strength and self love.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    isolation doesnt work out so well for alcoholics.

    find some meetings near you. and go. just sit and listen.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Ernie VedderErnie Vedder Bell Gardens, CAPosts: 1,880
    11 months today...
    A54CDC74-AB63-4EC8-9B55-3658DDD136FC-13112-000005CA4B5AFE40_zps094ecfbc.jpg
  • SD48277SD48277 Woodstock, NYPosts: 12,081
    11 months today...
    Awesome!
    ELITIST FUK
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 13,782
    tonights the night. I dont want to let go but its selfish to delay this any longer. She was a great companion who loved me unconditionally. Rest easy sweet girl.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,148
    Ernie, I remember you talking about your first steps on this journey.  Congratulations.

    And mickey, I am so so sorry.  She knows you loved her without limits as well.  They always get it.
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 7,432
    mickeyrat said:
    tonights the night. I dont want to let go but its selfish to delay this any longer. She was a great companion who loved me unconditionally. Rest easy sweet girl.

    Four years on, I still remember all too vividly how hard that decision and that step was. Hugs to you, mickey.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • Ernie VedderErnie Vedder Bell Gardens, CAPosts: 1,880
    hedonist said:
    Ernie, I remember you talking about your first steps on this journey.  Congratulations.

    And mickey, I am so so sorry.  She knows you loved her without limits as well.  They always get it.
    Almost at My year mark. Please God, help me make it. 
    A54CDC74-AB63-4EC8-9B55-3658DDD136FC-13112-000005CA4B5AFE40_zps094ecfbc.jpg
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,148
    hedonist said:
    Ernie, I remember you talking about your first steps on this journey.  Congratulations.

    And mickey, I am so so sorry.  She knows you loved her without limits as well.  They always get it.
    Almost at My year mark. Please God, help me make it. 
    You're doing it :peace:
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