Dying alone

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Comments

  • hedonist said:

    Pretty morbid stuff.  I'm 36 and single.  If I don't get married and have kids I won't be relying on my nieces and nephews to take care of me so I'm going to have to save up some cash.  I need to factor in the cost of at home care or assisted living in my retirement plan.

    Personally, when I get to the point where I can't travel, golf, or get around on my own and don't have a spouse or kids/grandkids to care about, I'm not sure how excited I'll be to hang around and watch Netflix.  Easy to say that now at 36.  

    One thing I am seriously thinking about is early retirement.  You hear all the time people dying of cancer, heart attacks or getting dementia shortly after retirement.   There are no guarantees.  I want to use the money I'm earning now to enjoy life when I'm healthy and not work all the time and use the earnings to pay for doctor bills in the future.  If the money runs out there will be government handouts I'm sure.


    Obviously pace yourself, but your approach is solid! There are no guarantees. I tell any of my friends that 'can't afford a mountain bike' or 'can't afford to go to a concert'... that they can't take their money to the grave with them. I tell them to save their money so when they pass early... their widowed wife can shack up with some bum who can go spend their savings on fun stuff.

    And hey... I turned 50 this year. I feel 20. I listen to my music loud and I listen to heavy music. I work out as much as I can (running, mountain biking in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter, and the gym when I cannot do any of those things). I golf when I want. I go to concerts when I want. I basically do whatever I want.

    What I'm saying is... 50 is young. I wouldn't have thought so at 30, but it is. Hell... I'm thinking 70 is still young. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing now until I simply cannot any more.

    OP... you gotta get yourself to a better place! I've followed your struggles on these forums. I recognize you are fighting some demons. Don't let them get the best of you. What I would say to you is 'fake it till you make it'. Wake up tomorrow and play the part of a confident, energetic, fun guy... until you become one for real.
    Hell to the yeah, Thirty.  I'm coming on three years ahead of you, husband is over seven years younger than I, and really....fuck it.  Numbers mean shit in the end.

    It's about the love you make, and hopefully take.  And give.

    Timelines?  They're not dictated.

    word
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • CM189191CM189191 Minneapolis via ChicagoPosts: 3,487
    After my train wreck of a relationship ended a few months ago, I've realized I'm just happier being single. My dog loves me. :smile:
    ...puppies and peanut butter...
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  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    So this has turned into a "i cant find love" thread? :)
    Sorry for derailing my own thread.
    Back on topic.
    I only have immediate family here, I don't get along with mum, I am estranged from one sister, other sister has her own worries, I am single and seem unable to form relationships with women, I only have one friend I actually speak to often and see regularly, the others I only hear from online here and there. Having said that, the way it looks I will be on my own when I finally move out of my parents' home. I'll be living alone in a house or unit or apartment, won't hear from family much. I don't know, I just fear this future for me. I will be like Obi Wan Kenobi, a strange old hermit that lives somewhere secluded.
    I'm about to fly to Australia and wing-man you up into the air.  You get a little wind in your sails and you'll be off to the races.

    Fake it till you make is good advice.  I prefer to think of it as "make it so in your mind until everyone else catches up and then you've made it", but there's no ring to that.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • KC138045KC138045 Columbus, OHPosts: 2,044
    mcgruff10 said:
    single and 33.
    Can't afford concert right now.
    I got divorced at 32, have faith bud. Life gets better!
    Thank you.
    I have never had a girlfriend. Lost hope a long time ago.
    Sounds like you need to save as much as you can and get to one of the stadium shows.  Get yourself in GA and meet yourself a nice American sheila.
    Columbus-2000
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  • dignindignin Posts: 5,591
    I thought prostitution was legal in Australia? That seems like a as good a place as any to start.

    If not take KC's advice and come to the Missoula show and I volunteer to be your wingman.
  • stuckinlinestuckinline Posts: 1,957
    edited January 30
    dignin said:
    If not take KC's advice and come to the Missoula show and I volunteer to be your wingman.
    Thoughts Arrive, go to a show, hit up the pre-party. Go without any expectations other than to enjoy good music. 
    Pearl Jam fans are some of the nicest, most generous people you will ever meet!
    Post edited by stuckinline on
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 12,955

    Pretty morbid stuff.  I'm 36 and single.  If I don't get married and have kids I won't be relying on my nieces and nephews to take care of me so I'm going to have to save up some cash.  I need to factor in the cost of at home care or assisted living in my retirement plan.

    Personally, when I get to the point where I can't travel, golf, or get around on my own and don't have a spouse or kids/grandkids to care about, I'm not sure how excited I'll be to hang around and watch Netflix.  Easy to say that now at 36.  

    One thing I am seriously thinking about is early retirement.  You hear all the time people dying of cancer, heart attacks or getting dementia shortly after retirement.   There are no guarantees.  I want to use the money I'm earning now to enjoy life when I'm healthy and not work all the time and use the earnings to pay for doctor bills in the future.  If the money runs out there will be government handouts I'm sure.


    Obviously pace yourself, but your approach is solid! There are no guarantees. I tell any of my friends that 'can't afford a mountain bike' or 'can't afford to go to a concert'... that they can't take their money to the grave with them. I tell them to save their money so when they pass early... their widowed wife can shack up with some bum who can go spend their savings on fun stuff.

    And hey... I turned 50 this year. I feel 20. I listen to my music loud and I listen to heavy music. I work out as much as I can (running, mountain biking in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter, and the gym when I cannot do any of those things). I golf when I want. I go to concerts when I want. I basically do whatever I want.

    What I'm saying is... 50 is young. I wouldn't have thought so at 30, but it is. Hell... I'm thinking 70 is still young. I'm going to keep doing the things I'm doing now until I simply cannot any more.

    OP... you gotta get yourself to a better place! I've followed your struggles on these forums. I recognize you are fighting some demons. Don't let them get the best of you. What I would say to you is 'fake it till you make it'. Wake up tomorrow and play the part of a confident, energetic, fun guy... until you become one for real.
    Thank you.
    I hate and struggle faking.

    in my experience with depression and the like, fake it till you make it does not work. faking it in our situation is emotionally and mentally, and yes, even physically, exhausting. you really have no idea until you've had to do it when your brain just doesn't match up to what you are asking of it. 

    confidence in who you are is key, no matter who you are, but confidence in knowing what you need and want is key to getting the things that make you happy. 
  • But you can't just say 'I'm going to be confident' and then you're confident. It's more acquired versus blessed.

    Positive self talk, amongst other things, helps you develop. But there is no formula for all people. I just offered a tactic. It's up to the OP whether or not they think they can work through their struggle or not with it.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 13,205
    So gambs, dirty and I are flying to Australia to help thoughtarrive with the ladies?  Is that correct?  Shoot me some dates fellas and I ll be sure to get a sitter. 


    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • DegeneratefkDegeneratefk Posts: 2,969
    We all die alone. The clean up isn't the deads problem, is it?
    will myself to find a home, a home within myself
    we will find a way, we will find our place
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    The thing is at times I feel confident. The problem is girls avoid me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 11,439
    Do you have a third eye?
    I'm sure somewhere out there are women who are intrigued by men with 3 eyes.
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  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    Yeah I know some seriously fat and ugly dudes that do just fine, ladies don't avoid men just because they aren't studs.
    Avoid is a weird choice of words.  It tells me that either you behave like a psychopathic lunatic with open sores and people run from you, or you feel like women want to avoid you and you use any scrap of evidence you can find to reinforce that notion.  
    Seriously though, lotta ladies out there and they've all got something beautiful to offer a man who knows how to recognize it.  Be that man.
    Set up a classy internet dating profile and get out there meeting people, hone your skills and try to relax and not look so hard for a girlfriend, just look for interesting interactions with lovely ladies.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Hi!Hi! Posts: 50
    Fake it til you make it doesn't seem like good relationship advice. 
    Try a dating website for sure.
  • A decent looking young gal married an elederly Charles Manson when he was in prison for gawds sakes.

    There's a woman for everyone. Especially if you treat them nicely.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • amethgr8amethgr8 Posts: 590
    Fake it till you make it is more like put n a smile and see how the day goes.  If you put on a smile  the day works out, you receive some positive reinforcements either in the way of compliments, or good to see you, or good job or just no problems then that build confidence for the next day.  It's like the first day on a job you have no idea, put your uniform on and at least look the part till you can learn it.
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  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 22,038
    The thing is at times I feel confident. The problem is girls avoid me.
    The right woman didn't come into my life until I was 51.  It was worth the wait.  Don't give up hope, Thoughts!
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer MarylandPosts: 10,019
    Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

    I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    rgambs said:
    So this has turned into a "i cant find love" thread? :)
    Sorry for derailing my own thread.
    Back on topic.
    I only have immediate family here, I don't get along with mum, I am estranged from one sister, other sister has her own worries, I am single and seem unable to form relationships with women, I only have one friend I actually speak to often and see regularly, the others I only hear from online here and there. Having said that, the way it looks I will be on my own when I finally move out of my parents' home. I'll be living alone in a house or unit or apartment, won't hear from family much. I don't know, I just fear this future for me. I will be like Obi Wan Kenobi, a strange old hermit that lives somewhere secluded.
    I'm about to fly to Australia and wing-man you up into the air.  You get a little wind in your sails and you'll be off to the races.

    Fake it till you make is good advice.  I prefer to think of it as "make it so in your mind until everyone else catches up and then you've made it", but there's no ring to that.
    People have tried to wing-man me many times to no avail.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    edited January 31
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • AnnafalkAnnafalk SwedenPosts: 3,455
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    It’s almost hard to read how tough you are towards yourself.  Maybe online dating can be worth a try, I know a friend who met a guy that way. But it took about 35 dates until she finally had a good match so it can take time. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    Annafalk said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    It’s almost hard to read how tough you are towards yourself.  Maybe online dating can be worth a try, I know a friend who met a guy that way. But it took about 35 dates until she finally had a good match so it can take time. 
    I don't know, if I had more friends I'd be more comfortable.
    Any potential romantic partner would wonder why I don't have friends and would probably assume something is wrong with me and I should be avoided.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • AnnafalkAnnafalk SwedenPosts: 3,455
    Annafalk said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    It’s almost hard to read how tough you are towards yourself.  Maybe online dating can be worth a try, I know a friend who met a guy that way. But it took about 35 dates until she finally had a good match so it can take time. 
    I don't know, if I had more friends I'd be more comfortable.
    Any potential romantic partner would wonder why I don't have friends and would probably assume something is wrong with me and I should be avoided.
    Loneliness is actually quite common I think and it isn’t about your friends, it’s about you and her. 
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    rgambs said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Not sure what to say. 
    Recent events with the opposite sex have left me feeling shit.
    I was adamant a fried from university liked me. She messaged me to say we should catch up (seeing she dropped out of university and we haven't seen each other for a while) so I said yes. She then cancelled on me the day before saying something has come up and then she rescheduled and again cancelled on me saying something has come up and she'll get back to me when she's free.
    That was in June last year.
    Another university friend used to always sit next to me in lectures and classes but then all of a sudden ditched me. I don't care as I didn't like her romantically and found her shallow. She was more following me around. Makes me wonder why females abandon me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    Annafalk said:
    Annafalk said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    It’s almost hard to read how tough you are towards yourself.  Maybe online dating can be worth a try, I know a friend who met a guy that way. But it took about 35 dates until she finally had a good match so it can take time. 
    I don't know, if I had more friends I'd be more comfortable.
    Any potential romantic partner would wonder why I don't have friends and would probably assume something is wrong with me and I should be avoided.
    Loneliness is actually quite common I think and it isn’t about your friends, it’s about you and her. 
    Even my mum mentions that I have no friends and no girlfriend and asks me "who will look after you when you're old?"
    I just see my future as bleak.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    rgambs said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Not sure what to say. 
    Recent events with the opposite sex have left me feeling shit.
    I was adamant a fried from university liked me. She messaged me to say we should catch up (seeing she dropped out of university and we haven't seen each other for a while) so I said yes. She then cancelled on me the day before saying something has come up and then she rescheduled and again cancelled on me saying something has come up and she'll get back to me when she's free.
    That was in June last year.
    Another university friend used to always sit next to me in lectures and classes but then all of a sudden ditched me. I don't care as I didn't like her romantically and found her shallow. She was more following me around. Makes me wonder why females abandon me.
    Abandon?  Avoid?  
    Those vocabulary choices say more about your perspective than they do about the events that you describe.

    Why do we fall master Wayne?
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Not sure what to say. 
    Recent events with the opposite sex have left me feeling shit.
    I was adamant a fried from university liked me. She messaged me to say we should catch up (seeing she dropped out of university and we haven't seen each other for a while) so I said yes. She then cancelled on me the day before saying something has come up and then she rescheduled and again cancelled on me saying something has come up and she'll get back to me when she's free.
    That was in June last year.
    Another university friend used to always sit next to me in lectures and classes but then all of a sudden ditched me. I don't care as I didn't like her romantically and found her shallow. She was more following me around. Makes me wonder why females abandon me.
    Abandon?  Avoid?  
    Those vocabulary choices say more about your perspective than they do about the events that you describe.

    Why do we fall master Wayne?
    I can't understand how she went from wanting to see me in the city to never getting back to me again. Haven't heard from her since she cancelled on me. I guess she just had second thoughts and changed her mind.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 10,079
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Not sure what to say. 
    Recent events with the opposite sex have left me feeling shit.
    I was adamant a fried from university liked me. She messaged me to say we should catch up (seeing she dropped out of university and we haven't seen each other for a while) so I said yes. She then cancelled on me the day before saying something has come up and then she rescheduled and again cancelled on me saying something has come up and she'll get back to me when she's free.
    That was in June last year.
    Another university friend used to always sit next to me in lectures and classes but then all of a sudden ditched me. I don't care as I didn't like her romantically and found her shallow. She was more following me around. Makes me wonder why females abandon me.
    Abandon?  Avoid?  
    Those vocabulary choices say more about your perspective than they do about the events that you describe.

    Why do we fall master Wayne?
    I can't understand how she went from wanting to see me in the city to never getting back to me again. Haven't heard from her since she cancelled on me. I guess she just had second thoughts and changed her mind.
    That is just a projection, she's probably just busy.
    I have a good friend lives 30 miles away, haven't seen him in a year and a half or so, neither of us abandoned the friendship.  We just haven't hooked up in a while.  Life gets in the way.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 11,468
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    rgambs said:
    I don't know about online dating.
    Never tried it. I've always refused to go online as I like the magic of meeting in person by chance.
    I don't have any good photos of myself, my friend offered to take photos of me.
    Hell knows if I know what to write on my profile. I'm quite boring tbh.
    What stops me from pursuing a relationship is the fact I don't have many friends.
    Any woman that learns that about me will see a red flag.
    You don't think there are women out there that have no friends?  There are.  In my experience, women have a harder time making and keeping friendships than guys do.  It's not the red flag you want it to be.
    You can't just torpedo every chance you might have because you are afraid to be rejected.  No good photos?  Really?  That's no kind of excuse.  You like good music, that's where you start with your profile.

    Finding your soul mate in a magical chance meeting is something that happens in the movies.  Women (not girls, you're an adult and so are they) are not a conquest, they are an exquisite blessing.  Online dating could expose you to dozens of exquisite blessings who are open to letting you get a peek into their life.  You can't pass that up because you are afraid they won't like you, most of them won't.  You won't like half of them either, that's natural and A-OK.  You don't have to search for Mrs. Right online, just search for nice and exciting experiences.

    I married my first girlfriend, been together since we were 15 years old.  I got incredibly lucky to have a beautiful woman let me into her life and I wound my way around her like a damn rubber band and didn't let up.  Very lucky, yet if I'm truly honest, there are parts of me that envy folks like you.  You get to experience a whole plethora of beautiful women in that open and hopeful way that is so special, embrace it!
    Not sure what to say. 
    Recent events with the opposite sex have left me feeling shit.
    I was adamant a fried from university liked me. She messaged me to say we should catch up (seeing she dropped out of university and we haven't seen each other for a while) so I said yes. She then cancelled on me the day before saying something has come up and then she rescheduled and again cancelled on me saying something has come up and she'll get back to me when she's free.
    That was in June last year.
    Another university friend used to always sit next to me in lectures and classes but then all of a sudden ditched me. I don't care as I didn't like her romantically and found her shallow. She was more following me around. Makes me wonder why females abandon me.
    Abandon?  Avoid?  
    Those vocabulary choices say more about your perspective than they do about the events that you describe.

    Why do we fall master Wayne?
    I can't understand how she went from wanting to see me in the city to never getting back to me again. Haven't heard from her since she cancelled on me. I guess she just had second thoughts and changed her mind.
    That is just a projection, she's probably just busy.
    I have a good friend lives 30 miles away, haven't seen him in a year and a half or so, neither of us abandoned the friendship.  We just haven't hooked up in a while.  Life gets in the way.
    I understand people are busy but to go that long and no communication with this girl, I don't know.
    To me it's not a friendship if you don't keep in touch often.
    Me and my friend regularly chat online if we can't see each other.
    I haven't heard from one of my old school friend's for a long time, he invited me to his 30th and that was 2 years ago now and haven't seen him since. It makes me feel like we are not even friends.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

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