A safe place for anxiety sufferers to share.

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  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm not joining the rest of the family for dinner. There's too high a chance I'll tell a couple of people what I really think of them. Instead, I'm doing a friend a favor...an "unexpected" pop in to save her from unpleasant conversations. I'm great at veering off track.
    Kudos for knowing when you need to take care of yourself, RS.  Sometimes veering is way better than getting into a quarrel! 
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    brianlux said:
    Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm not joining the rest of the family for dinner. There's too high a chance I'll tell a couple of people what I really think of them. Instead, I'm doing a friend a favor...an "unexpected" pop in to save her from unpleasant conversations. I'm great at veering off track.
    Kudos for knowing when you need to take care of yourself, RS.  Sometimes veering is way better than getting into a quarrel! 
    Thanks! It worked out great, actually. Spent most of the time laughing and feeling like part of the family. I thought about all the things and people I'm thankful for. I reached out to loved ones. What more can I ask for? Hope your Thanksgiving was just as pleasant. :)
  • Is anyone from the u.s online?
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    Is anyone from the u.s online?
    I am, but about an hour late. You ok?
  • Yeah im ok.i was just needing someone to trust to have some posters sent to in the u.s . Its ok i can't afford it anyhow. Thank you.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • stuckinlinestuckinline Posts: 1,854
    brianlux said:
    Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm not joining the rest of the family for dinner. There's too high a chance I'll tell a couple of people what I really think of them. Instead, I'm doing a friend a favor...an "unexpected" pop in to save her from unpleasant conversations. I'm great at veering off track.
    Kudos for knowing when you need to take care of yourself, RS.  Sometimes veering is way better than getting into a quarrel! 
    Thanks! It worked out great, actually. Spent most of the time laughing and feeling like part of the family. I thought about all the things and people I'm thankful for. I reached out to loved ones. What more can I ask for? Hope your Thanksgiving was just as pleasant. :)
    Often, 'unexpected' plans turn out to be good days with good memories. Glad it all worked out for you RS.
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    I'm sitting here smoking and listening to sad country songs. Bad, bad, bad idea. :fearful:
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    I'm hanging on by a thread. Still. I've had to stop my meds a couple of weeks ago. I forget how much they affect my pain levels. The physical pain is out of control. The emotional pain, I can't even face right now. I feel so weak sometimes. So tired. Why can't I just suck it up and move on? What I wouldn't do to be able to just "cheer up". To just not care. But it's pretty exhausting to wake up every day willing myself to live, to breathe, to function. 
    Isolation makes it so much worse but I have a problem directly reaching out to people when I need them. Even my closest friends. I feel horrible guilt for possibly putting a damper on their mood. Besides, they all have their own problems... And I'm rambling again. 
  • ShynerShyner Posts: 834
    I wake up in panic
    It's only for a short time
    I fear traffic driving
    Lasts forever
    Help is on the way
    I love you all
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    Bless you all i haven't made it out of bed. I had an operation to add to my 2 massive health concerns.i too am hanging by a thread. I don't know if i can make it
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 10,780
    I'm hanging on by a thread. Still. I've had to stop my meds a couple of weeks ago. I forget how much they affect my pain levels. The physical pain is out of control. The emotional pain, I can't even face right now. I feel so weak sometimes. So tired. Why can't I just suck it up and move on? What I wouldn't do to be able to just "cheer up". To just not care. But it's pretty exhausting to wake up every day willing myself to live, to breathe, to function. 
    Isolation makes it so much worse but I have a problem directly reaching out to people when I need them. Even my closest friends. I feel horrible guilt for possibly putting a damper on their mood. Besides, they all have their own problems... And I'm rambling again. 
    Have you spoken to anyone as in a clinician? 
    Yeah, I've ruled out ever speaking to any friends. People I find have their own issues and don't want someone dragging them down.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    Wouldn't it be cool if we could weave all our threads together into a stronger rope? 

    Oh, wait. We're all anxious and depressed. Maybe not the best thing for us to have. :fearful:
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    RS i want you to know i feel that pain and i know exactly that feeling . Im living it now. Nowhere to turn nobody to tell. I also feel like im dying and nobody can see. Just wasting away bit by bit. PM me if you would like
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    My wife would love to see me "cured" of anxiety.  I understand her desire is in my best interest and maybe I sell myself short saying this, but I don't see it (for me) as ever being "cured".  What I aim for is to keep my anxiety contained as much as possible.  I also have arthritis.  I would love to not have arthritis but if I can at least keep it under control enough to be able to play my guitar and tie my shoes, I'm good with that.  Likewise, if I can keep my anxiety at a level that allows me to function, I'm good with that.  So far, for both, so good. 

    Lately I've been trying to work out in my head a deal where I try to reduce my anxiety to a lower level, maybe mild depression or see my anxiety more as worry because (to me at least) worry is more containable.  Worry has more options and can be appeased by hard work, engaging in my interests, listening to music, doing something creative, getting out and putting my body into motion.  I jokingly say it is my job is to worry and that doesn't always sound good to people who know me but the thing is, by making it a job, I have a task with a goal.  I have something to work on.  Work requires movement and movement is life--  I'm alive and moving.  I'm good with that.
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    Is anybody else terrified of dying? 
    The fear is so big.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    I can't escape the fear. I want this all to stop. I can't cope and nowhere left to turn. Scared of death means you can't kill yourself it means suffer eternally.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 10,780
    Is anybody else terrified of dying? 
    The fear is so big.
    Yep. Me.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    Is anybody else terrified of dying? 
    The fear is so big.
    I used to be terrified of dying.  For what ever reason, the older I get, less less fearful I am of dying.   Maybe partly from experiencing that kind of loss more often now, knowing that at some point there really are "fates worse than death"- like watching my mother cry all the time during her last year because she had Alzheimer's and didn't understand what was happenings.  Live now, while you have the health and energy to do so!  Make the most of every moment good or bad because that is the best way to spend your time.  As Ed said, "Enjoy your youth." 
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    Im 42 and have extreme health anxiety. At the moment i fear i have cancer and i fear i have dementia. Even typing the words im crying its 3am here i spent yesterday taking valium and sleeping because i can't face a day. Now it starts again. I gave up drinking 10 days ago after 3 weeks prior abstaining on week days then binges on weekends. Im trying to say my brain is readjusting but my memory is gone and i can't think of anything. Scared is an understatement.  I have globus sensation so im told i believe cancer. 
    I can't read the words properly i may have to leave the forum a while
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 10,780
    Im 42 and have extreme health anxiety. At the moment i fear i have cancer and i fear i have dementia. Even typing the words im crying its 3am here i spent yesterday taking valium and sleeping because i can't face a day. Now it starts again. I gave up drinking 10 days ago after 3 weeks prior abstaining on week days then binges on weekends. Im trying to say my brain is readjusting but my memory is gone and i can't think of anything. Scared is an understatement.  I have globus sensation so im told i believe cancer. 
    I can't read the words properly i may have to leave the forum a while
    What strategies has your psychologist suggested you implement to alleviate your health anxiety?
    Sorry to read that you're struggling. 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    I haven't found any. At the moment my brain won't work. I wake and have a blank vacancy. I believe im loosing my mind i have a hollow gap where my thoughts used to be

    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    I haven't found any. At the moment my brain won't work. I wake and have a blank vacancy. I believe im loosing my mind i have a hollow gap where my thoughts used to be

    In 1994, in the midst of a terrible life crisis, I self published a little book under the pseudonym "Joe West" that  I called Get Into Your Skull".  I gave a copy to my best friend to reading hoping he would appreciate how much work I put into it.  The next time I saw him I asked what he thought about the book.  I kind of shook his head and said, "Dude, you need to get out of your skull more."    Though I still think the book is fine the way it is (it was an honest and said what I needed to say at the time), at the time, I was bummed and offended by what he said but eventually (and ever since), I took that to be some of the best advice I ever had.

    It sounds like you're in what I and others have referred to as "being in the spin cycle" where thoughts become self-fulfilled prophesy.  (That's another assessment another friend  or two said of of me and I bristled at the notion, taking offense at it but later recognized the validity of their words.) 

    Grab onto what is good and works, lastexit.  Grab on and hold on.  Your life depends on it.  Go out for long brisk walks.  Do stuff with your kids.  Take care of your body too.  We used to say "you are what you eat".  That's true too.  Drink lots of water, get fresh air, exercise.  Be good to your body. 

    And don't over-think stuff. 

    Keep us post.  I really wish you well.
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 10,780
    I haven't found any. At the moment my brain won't work. I wake and have a blank vacancy. I believe im loosing my mind i have a hollow gap where my thoughts used to be

    Try a different psychologist. Surely you will find one that works for you. I wish you well.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    Thank you very much for being here during my night time. If i survive i will be back to let you know. The people who replied on here are true kind souls. 
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    Thank you very much for being here during my night time. If i survive i will be back to let you know. The people who replied on here are true kind souls. 
    It's late out here (12:40 AM)  Gonna hit the pillow.  Hope to see you here tomorrow, last exit!
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, AustraliaPosts: 10,780
    Thank you very much for being here during my night time. If i survive i will be back to let you know. The people who replied on here are true kind souls. 
    Have you tried mindfulness and meditation? 
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014

  • chimechime Posts: 7,824
    Im 42 and have extreme health anxiety. At the moment i fear i have cancer and i fear i have dementia. Even typing the words im crying its 3am here i spent yesterday taking valium and sleeping because i can't face a day. Now it starts again. I gave up drinking 10 days ago after 3 weeks prior abstaining on week days then binges on weekends. Im trying to say my brain is readjusting but my memory is gone and i can't think of anything. Scared is an understatement.  I have globus sensation so im told i believe cancer. 
    I can't read the words properly i may have to leave the forum a while
    Hi.  I mentioned before that my Mum suffers from severe health anxiety.  I don't know how much to mention as I don't want to act as a trigger for you.  With my Mum it is also centered on having cancer (the location of which will depend on her symptoms at that time) but I wanted to respond as you mentioned globus.  My Mum suffered from globus hystericus off and on (largely on) for well over a year and  she too believed this was cancer.

    My Mum found this video and the exercises it contained  useful 

    Please do let me know if you would rather me not respond and discuss what has happened with my Mum as I would not wish to be a trigger for you.
    So are we strangers now? Like rock and roll and the radio?
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZPosts: 1,152
    Lastexit, sorry to read that you're struggling again. I would've been on here too but I restarted my meds just a couple days ago and actually slept last night. Starting to feel a little better. Enough to repeat Brian's words..."hold on for dear life". Don't give up. Remember, stress can cause the cancer you fear. And please don't stress over THAT now too. Good thoughts to you.
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 21,355
    LastExit, how are you doing?  Give us a holler.
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • lastexitlondonlastexitlondon Posts: 1,192
    Ive called my dr.  I can't go on. Im loosing my memory and im petrified.  Im sorry i can't believe this is not some kind of dementia.
    brixton 93
    astoria 06
    albany 06
    hartford 06
    reading 06
    barcelona 06
    paris 06
    wembley 07
    dusseldorf 07
    nijmegen 07

    this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
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