Are people generally becoming more rude/ less courteous?

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Comments

  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 20,264
    hedonist said:
    It's funny, I've found that lack of courtesy spans across all ages, races, genders.  People are more and more in their own bubbles, mostly digital ones at that, and leaves them self-absorbed and unaware (or unwilling to see) other drivers, fellow shoppers, people who may need a door held for them, and on.

    Agreed that LA drivers can be utter assholes, but all I can do is be considerate and drive defensively, eyes wide open.

    i find that there are certain cultures that SEEM rude, but i think, from numerous observations, that it is a cultural difference perceived as rudeness by the culture i was raised in. if one culture acts in a certain way, even to each other, it's not considered rude. but to a different culture, it can be anger inducing. i am sure there are things that other cultures think are rude the way i act, but most or all of my peers act the same way. 

    i'm not sure if society is getting ruder. i think it's a general observation as one gets older that you perceive that to be the case. i am like george costanza, to be honest. i find the slightest human transgression maddening. not moving to the back of the bus because they are scared they'll never make it out alive; honking at someone moving too slowly on a crosswalk, that sort of thing. i don't get it. everyone needs to calm the fuck down. 

    i don't think it's the digital age either. people our age tend to rag on kids on the bus or walking down the street as being buried in their phones. i saw a pic somewhere on the web that countered that: it was a commuter train FULL of men buried in the daily news, not talking to each other. our tendencies are the same, just different technology. 
    This reminds of something I experienced that seems contradictory, but not really.  Here in California where I grew up (and live now), people are generally, "Hey groovy, nice to meet you give me a hug, let's be friends."  Yet during the two years I lived in rural western New York State people seemed much more stand-offish, wary,  rather stiff and definitely more reserved.  And yet when you win the trust of an east-coaster and show that you can be trusted and loyal, you will receive the same in return.  Of course I'm generalizing but what seems more easy going here is often really more shallow and what seems almost rude back east is actually more about expecting people to prove themselves to be worthy.  Once that happen, the bond is lasting and strong. 
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 9,525
    brianlux said:
    hedonist said:
    It's funny, I've found that lack of courtesy spans across all ages, races, genders.  People are more and more in their own bubbles, mostly digital ones at that, and leaves them self-absorbed and unaware (or unwilling to see) other drivers, fellow shoppers, people who may need a door held for them, and on.

    Agreed that LA drivers can be utter assholes, but all I can do is be considerate and drive defensively, eyes wide open.

    i find that there are certain cultures that SEEM rude, but i think, from numerous observations, that it is a cultural difference perceived as rudeness by the culture i was raised in. if one culture acts in a certain way, even to each other, it's not considered rude. but to a different culture, it can be anger inducing. i am sure there are things that other cultures think are rude the way i act, but most or all of my peers act the same way. 

    i'm not sure if society is getting ruder. i think it's a general observation as one gets older that you perceive that to be the case. i am like george costanza, to be honest. i find the slightest human transgression maddening. not moving to the back of the bus because they are scared they'll never make it out alive; honking at someone moving too slowly on a crosswalk, that sort of thing. i don't get it. everyone needs to calm the fuck down. 

    i don't think it's the digital age either. people our age tend to rag on kids on the bus or walking down the street as being buried in their phones. i saw a pic somewhere on the web that countered that: it was a commuter train FULL of men buried in the daily news, not talking to each other. our tendencies are the same, just different technology. 
    This reminds of something I experienced that seems contradictory, but not really.  Here in California where I grew up (and live now), people are generally, "Hey groovy, nice to meet you give me a hug, let's be friends."  Yet during the two years I lived in rural western New York State people seemed much more stand-offish, wary,  rather stiff and definitely more reserved.  And yet when you win the trust of an east-coaster and show that you can be trusted and loyal, you will receive the same in return.  Of course I'm generalizing but what seems more easy going here is often really more shallow and what seems almost rude back east is actually more about expecting people to prove themselves to be worthy.  Once that happen, the bond is lasting and strong. 
    People can say what they want about folks from the Northeast, but I agree with you Brian.
    Spent first 18 years in New England.
    Moved to CA for almost 20 years.
    Came back to Northeast (New Jersey, in a Philly 'burb) 5 years ago. 
    The  issue I had with LA and Orange counties was that (especially in LA) people are very often transplants.  This erodes the sense of community I feel and caused people to be much more insincere in general.  There also was more of an emphasis (in my experience) on where you were from and what you drove and stuff like that.
     
    Took 2 weeks of being in Jersey to have met a bunch of people who were genuine and to realize how much of a difference there was.
    Get past the gruff image (when presented) and get to the solid neighbor type of person....still can be a rude bunch, but I think that is the case most places.

    Rob
    Seattle

    Berkeley 10/31/93,Indio 11/5/93,San Diego 11/7/95,Irvine 6/3/03,LA 7/10/06,Universal City 10/7/09,Long Beach 7/6/11 (EV),Vancouver 9/25/11, Philly 9/2/12,Wrigley 7/19/13,Philly 1 & 2,10/21/13,10/22/13, Cincy 10/1/14, GCF 9/26/15, Philly 1/2 4/28/16, 4/29/16, MSG 1/2 5/1/16, 5/2/16, Fenway2 8/7/16
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 8,812
    Here in the Midwest it is a typically mixed bag.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 17,970
    The transplant theory is a good one - makes sense.

    With love,
    a native Angelena :)

  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 20,264
    Native California.Bay Area dude here.  My mother was a native Californian as well, so that takes us back to the 1920's (and her folks only migrated across the border from Nevada).  But then my father is originally from Pennsylvania so if he hadn't  been a transplant, I wouldn't be here.  The biggest problem (as I see it) with transplanting here on the west coast has been the sheer numbers.  HUGE numbers!
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commetsPosts: 9,525
    hedonist said:
    The transplant theory is a good one - makes sense.

    With love,
    a native Angelena :)

    You know I love ya! 
    How many people in your building do you know?  (First/Last names, know their kids or where they are from?)
    I lived in a number of places out there, including a spot in Marina del Rey for 7 years. 
    Rob
    Seattle

    Berkeley 10/31/93,Indio 11/5/93,San Diego 11/7/95,Irvine 6/3/03,LA 7/10/06,Universal City 10/7/09,Long Beach 7/6/11 (EV),Vancouver 9/25/11, Philly 9/2/12,Wrigley 7/19/13,Philly 1 & 2,10/21/13,10/22/13, Cincy 10/1/14, GCF 9/26/15, Philly 1/2 4/28/16, 4/29/16, MSG 1/2 5/1/16, 5/2/16, Fenway2 8/7/16
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 17,970
    hedonist said:
    The transplant theory is a good one - makes sense.

    With love,
    a native Angelena :)

    You know I love ya! 
    How many people in your building do you know?  (First/Last names, know their kids or where they are from?)
    I lived in a number of places out there, including a spot in Marina del Rey for 7 years. 
    Maybe three people :blush:  I mean, our paths cross here and there and chitchat is made but aside from a couple of folks I interact with more than others, I do not know my 400+ neighbors very well.

    Perhaps it was growing up in a home vs. our condo that more-easily lent itself to the sense of community and neighbors.  Different times, too.

    But always usually courteous!
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 10,622
    hedonist said:
    hedonist said:
    The transplant theory is a good one - makes sense.

    With love,
    a native Angelena :)

    You know I love ya! 
    How many people in your building do you know?  (First/Last names, know their kids or where they are from?)
    I lived in a number of places out there, including a spot in Marina del Rey for 7 years. 
    Maybe three people :blush:  I mean, our paths cross here and there and chitchat is made but aside from a couple of folks I interact with more than others, I do not know my 400+ neighbors very well.

    Perhaps it was growing up in a home vs. our condo that more-easily lent itself to the sense of community and neighbors.  Different times, too.

    But always usually courteous!
    do you have a wall in the lobby with pictures and names of everyone who lives there?

    that would be my own personal hell. 
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 17,970
    hedonist said:
    hedonist said:
    The transplant theory is a good one - makes sense.

    With love,
    a native Angelena :)

    You know I love ya! 
    How many people in your building do you know?  (First/Last names, know their kids or where they are from?)
    I lived in a number of places out there, including a spot in Marina del Rey for 7 years. 
    Maybe three people :blush:  I mean, our paths cross here and there and chitchat is made but aside from a couple of folks I interact with more than others, I do not know my 400+ neighbors very well.

    Perhaps it was growing up in a home vs. our condo that more-easily lent itself to the sense of community and neighbors.  Different times, too.

    But always usually courteous!
    do you have a wall in the lobby with pictures and names of everyone who lives there?

    that would be my own personal hell. 
    No...and no kissing hello either!
  • ZodZod Posts: 4,915
    I try to be courteous and most of the time I think I am, but I do have a theory.

    Where I live (and I'm guess many other places) the population keeps growing and growing.   I think the more crowded it gets the more frustrated people get, and the lack of courtesy it's one of those things.    Any time I'm in small towns, it always feels a little oldschool.    The polite factor always seems way up.  People aren't as stressed out and way more calm.    That's my thought's anyways.   Humans probably aren't meant to be sardined into cities the way we are now.    Everyone's in your way, and you're in everyone else's way (the walmart/costco dilemma).   Everyone gets frustrated, and sometimes they can't bottle it in.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 10,622
    Zod said:
    I try to be courteous and most of the time I think I am, but I do have a theory.

    Where I live (and I'm guess many other places) the population keeps growing and growing.   I think the more crowded it gets the more frustrated people get, and the lack of courtesy it's one of those things.    Any time I'm in small towns, it always feels a little oldschool.    The polite factor always seems way up.  People aren't as stressed out and way more calm.    That's my thought's anyways.   Humans probably aren't meant to be sardined into cities the way we are now.    Everyone's in your way, and you're in everyone else's way (the walmart/costco dilemma).   Everyone gets frustrated, and sometimes they can't bottle it in.
    i would say that theory is damn near factual. sure, there are negatives in all walks of life, but basically the smaller the center, the more relaxed the populace. you go to a small town and strangers smile at you, say good morning, shit like that.  you don't see that in big cities much. it's just a completely different mindset. 
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 5,852
    Zod said:
    I try to be courteous and most of the time I think I am, but I do have a theory.

    Where I live (and I'm guess many other places) the population keeps growing and growing.   I think the more crowded it gets the more frustrated people get, and the lack of courtesy it's one of those things.    Any time I'm in small towns, it always feels a little oldschool.    The polite factor always seems way up.  People aren't as stressed out and way more calm.    That's my thought's anyways.   Humans probably aren't meant to be sardined into cities the way we are now.    Everyone's in your way, and you're in everyone else's way (the walmart/costco dilemma).   Everyone gets frustrated, and sometimes they can't bottle it in.
    i would say that theory is damn near factual. sure, there are negatives in all walks of life, but basically the smaller the center, the more relaxed the populace. you go to a small town and strangers smile at you, say good morning, shit like that.  you don't see that in big cities much. it's just a completely different mindset. 

    I think it also depends on how the society has developed. The USA is a big country and people have traditionally had a lot of space, so they're not used to having to deal with close quarters. The Japanese, in contrast, have always been aware of their tiny and non-expandable landmass and their culture has developed ways to deal with this, with a lack of expectation of privacy, a tolerance for minimal personal space (for instance, standing in line), and a high premium put on social politeness.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 20,264
    Zod said:
    I try to be courteous and most of the time I think I am, but I do have a theory.

    Where I live (and I'm guess many other places) the population keeps growing and growing.   I think the more crowded it gets the more frustrated people get, and the lack of courtesy it's one of those things.    Any time I'm in small towns, it always feels a little oldschool.    The polite factor always seems way up.  People aren't as stressed out and way more calm.    That's my thought's anyways.   Humans probably aren't meant to be sardined into cities the way we are now.    Everyone's in your way, and you're in everyone else's way (the walmart/costco dilemma).   Everyone gets frustrated, and sometimes they can't bottle it in.
    i would say that theory is damn near factual. sure, there are negatives in all walks of life, but basically the smaller the center, the more relaxed the populace. you go to a small town and strangers smile at you, say good morning, shit like that.  you don't see that in big cities much. it's just a completely different mindset. 

    I think it also depends on how the society has developed. The USA is a big country and people have traditionally had a lot of space, so they're not used to having to deal with close quarters. The Japanese, in contrast, have always been aware of their tiny and non-expandable landmass and their culture has developed ways to deal with this, with a lack of expectation of privacy, a tolerance for minimal personal space (for instance, standing in line), and a high premium put on social politeness.
    If they were as environmentally conscious as they are polite, it would be heaven on earth.  Though touted as being a progressively "green" country, sadly, they have major transgressions regarding ocean wildlife and are dead set on keeping their nuclear power plants threatening their own country, the Pacific Ocean and beyond. 
    We're living on the edge of something big. It's a fantastic time in history to be alive.
    AMT, 1.25.15, 00:36 hrs.
    ***********
    M.I.T.S.
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