Omg I'm losing my ever loving mind and have no where else to vent...my best friend came here with the promise that she would help clean and cook, well she sorta cleans, and she has basically refused to cook, and she sorta helps with Keyton. Otherwise she is planted on her ass on the couch with Netflix going and her face buried in her phone. I finally called her on all her bullshit today and she left...she went for a walk, she's been gone all day, instead of just facing me, she knew I was mad, and she couldn't face me instead she just bails...made me even more mad. Luckily she is going to see her mom for Christmas and we decided its better that she stays with her mom. Its just been a lot of added stress the last week or so...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Geez, that's the last thing you need!! At least you called her out on it. She's going through a shit time, but she still needs to pull her weight. I hope you can set things straight with her. X
I talked to her last night in person when she finally decided to come home after I had taken care of Keyton's nightly routine. And she acted like this is all on me..."she's not good enough for me, I don't talk to her, I don't care about what she's going through too....she's leaving on Tuesday and I'll never have to see her again...." And I'm like that's not what I want you're my best friend, but I can't live with you. You're not doing things I've asked you to do(she smokes, I asked her to bathe every day because the smell of cigarettes is killing me, it gives me migraines, I said if she showered daily it wouldn't be as strong or stale on her and she said she would, which was a lie, instead her answer was to cover it up with nasty ass perfume which I am just as allergic to, I also told her this when I came home from work the first time and smelled the perfume in the house and yet she continued to do it), you ARE doing things I've asked you NOT to do(smoke up by the front porch, we have asked her to not smoke near the house at all because we don't smoke and don't want the smell coming in our house, she'll stand away from the house for a day or two but then slowly inches her way back up closer to the porch), you half ass clean my kitchen more half ass than my teenage kid does, and you vacuum my living room, that's the extent of her cleaning, and I out right told her that, and the one time I asked her to cook dinner she gives me the excuse that Jason is a better cook than her...and my kid is mad at her because she keeps tattling on her....she's a grown ass woman, why is she tattling to me on my kid(like she tattled on my kid for eating candy for breakfast, do you really have room to talk, you drink soda at 6am)? I don't know....things are going to be strained between us for a while...because she thinks I don't appreciate the things she's done while she's been there like helping with Keyton, which I've thanked her for on multiple occasions and so has my husband, and we've provided a roof over her head and a bed for her to sleep in and food for her to eat, and we've taken her out to eat multiple times, how is that not appreciating what she's done to help? She says I don't talk to her when I get home from work...well, first off it goes both ways, she keeps her face literally buried in her phone or she goes upstairs and goes to bed shortly after I arrive home from work...and I'm mentally, physically and emotionally drained when I get home(at 7:30pm BTW) and I still have my hubby, Chyann and Keyton to deal with, dinner to eat, plus the animals to feed and dogs to take outside...please excuse me if I don't ask how your day of watching MY Netflix account and playing on your phone was...not to mention, I kept trying to ask her about stuff when she first got here and I would see her visibly upset and she wouldn't open up and talk to me she would just brush it off...I mean really how many times is someone supposed to get that before they get frustrated and give up?
I'm just really frustrated you know because I went to her and tried to have a grown up conversation with her about the whole thing and all she did was act very childish towards me....
Post edited by PJSiren on
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Far out that's a lot to deal with. It sounds like she's in a fug of feeling sorry for herself. I think you've done all you possibly can at this point. You need to look after yourself. Thinking of you and I hope you and your family have a good Christmas xx
Thanks guys!!! Been kinda busy since the new years started, we're looking into possibly getting a house....
just thought I would pop in and tell you about our experience last night though...Keyton was completely ridiculous last night…I got home and Chyann was trying to help him with his homework while Jason got dinner started and he wouldn’t work with her, he wasn’t listening, not focusing just throwing guesses out, and he knows his numbers, but he wouldn’t do it…so he ended up getting put in a time out, and after about 10 minutes I asked him, if Mrs Jaxell asked you what number comes after a 5, what would you tell her, and he says “six”(instead of guessing a random number), then Chyann asked him why he wouldn’t do his homework for us and he answers her with “I think I don’t have to” so then she asks him do you think I have to do mine? To which he replies “yes” so I ask him what makes you so special then that you don’t have to do your homework? And he says in front of all three of us, “my wheelchair” to which we had to explain to him in a way a 5 year old can understand that just because he’s in a wheelchair that doesn’t give him special privileges…
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Thanks guys!!! Been kinda busy since the new years started, we're looking into possibly getting a house....
just thought I would pop in and tell you about our experience last night though...Keyton was completely ridiculous last night…I got home and Chyann was trying to help him with his homework while Jason got dinner started and he wouldn’t work with her, he wasn’t listening, not focusing just throwing guesses out, and he knows his numbers, but he wouldn’t do it…so he ended up getting put in a time out, and after about 10 minutes I asked him, if Mrs Jaxell asked you what number comes after a 5, what would you tell her, and he says “six”(instead of guessing a random number), then Chyann asked him why he wouldn’t do his homework for us and he answers her with “I think I don’t have to” so then she asks him do you think I have to do mine? To which he replies “yes” so I ask him what makes you so special then that you don’t have to do your homework? And he says in front of all three of us, “my wheelchair” to which we had to explain to him in a way a 5 year old can understand that just because he’s in a wheelchair that doesn’t give him special privileges…
The Serenity Prayer popped into my head while I was reading that. You're a better woman than me PJSiren!
Also just a quick update...not to do specifically with just Keyton but with my family....we made an offer on a house on Saturday and found out last night that they accepted our offer, so we are under contract...we can't close on the house until after April 2 though, because it's in probate, but we're excited. :-) It's our first house!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
- Christopher McCandless
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Also just a quick update...not to do specifically with just Keyton but with my family....we made an offer on a house on Saturday and found out last night that they accepted our offer, so we are under contract...we can't close on the house until after April 2 though, because it's in probate, but we're excited. :-) It's our first house!
congratulations nothing like your own home to own..
So, I got a good little tidbit for you all...it's a bad college pick up line.... "Are you homework? I wanna do you." Keyton said it to me last night,....
Jason and I laughed so hard....lol
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Friday my daughter left the house without permission leaving a vague note on where she was going which turned out to be a complete lie...she was gone all day until after dark and came home with boys in tow...at 7 PM and got into an argument with my husband and took off again...she didn't come home the rest of the night...we ended up filing a report on her as a runaway...we had contacted all of her friends, that we could and none of them had heard from her and they began to get worried in fact one even posted on FB a picture of her and my husband's phone number that she was missing in Salem and to contact her dad if you saw her or heard from her...we didn't know who the boys were or if she'd met back up with them...they had taken off after they saw my husband. We went out looking for her ourselves after the police came and took all the relevant info and what not...we didn't sleep that night needless to say...we got up early on Saturday and checked Facebook for any clues...she isn't supposed to have it but we knew she had one under a different name so we tried to find that one again and see if she had been active on it at all and we couldn't even locate it anymore...so we looked up friends of hers to try to find clues. And then we got ready and headed to the mall but before we left we talked to the neighbors and let them know what was going on and asked them if they saw her come home to call us because there are two that spend a lot of time outside...and we had just started making the rounds at the mall when one called and said she had tried to get into the house but wasn't sure if she did get in...she seemed spooked when she noticed him looking at her and then he ran inside to call us...so we bolted back home and the house was still all locked up so it didn't seem like she had gotten in so we split up and looked around the immediate area because we knew she couldn't have gotten far....but it turns out she was in the house the whole time...we ended up finding her in there...we yelled at her for her stunt, and for scaring us, and hugged her because we were glad she was safe...but she got lectured, because we know she's been doing things...like shoplifting...it started by just stealing from us...she'd take my make up and stuff then it escalated to money...she's stolen about 50$ in cash from us plus a lot of loose change that we keep in a change jar by the kitchen...which adds up...I went to pay for my last tattoo, and was 40 dollars short of the cash My husband had gotten out of our bank account and given to me a few days earlier...that was the most embarrassing moment of my life...luckily my husband was with me and also had cash in his wallet...and we had a suspicion she had taken it...she just now confessed to it. like a year later. She confessed to the shop lifting which I have been suspecting since about last September....she has taken clothing, make up, key chains, bracelets....that's the stuff I caught...who knows what else...she broke down and admitted she's been cutting herself and showed us her wrist which she's been hiding, it's bad...it's all because this boy broke her heart, and she is 14 and doesn't know how to handle these emotions and instead of talking to me or my husband about it because she thought we would tell her it was stupid and she should just get over it, she let it tail spin out of control....she didn't realize that I had a boy I loved from the time I was 16 til I was 24 who destroyed my heart repeatedly...I have a tattoo for him(a little, dazed, broken hearted skull dude)...I have notebooks full of poetry for him, he was my first love and it took me years to get over him...I had to tell her all this on Saturday, and how when I was 24 and he got married to his wife, and I heard about it that night I got drunk because I was so heart broken...and my husband told her about his first wife who was his first love...it's been really bad with her lately...and it just culminated this weekend. She doesn't know how to handle all these emotions and urges and everything that she's experiencing...we have to get her into counseling ASAP too...there may also be a mental health aspect here too...bipolar or something so she may need to be on medication...I don't know...it's just a possibility...I don't know what runs in her mother's family. But she definitely needs the counseling to start with.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
sorry to hear will be praying but going to the docs is a good idea if she may have what you have bc my daughter got ocd because of what i got but she only got it when she turned 12 so definitely counseling and docs and i find what helps with teens is to enrol them is something they like to keep them busy ie guitar lessons, basket ball, singing lessons etc just some real helpful advice and it wouldnt harm to ask her to do chores around the house to earn pocket money to a desired amount to what work is available.. hope your not overly stressed might be a good idea to burn some lavender in the house to relax or something take care..
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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
PJSiren, I read this earlier and wish your family well. The cutting alone, I think, warrants professional help. She's so young, needs to get on that healing path and hope she can and will, with you and your husband beside her.
2000 - Chicago, IL 2003 - Champaign, IL 2006 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2 2007 - Chicago, IL Lollapalooza 2009 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2 2010 - St. Louis, MO 2011 - East Troy, WI 1 & 2 (PJ20 Destination Weekend) 2012 - Atlanta, GA, Missoula, MT 2013 - Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field), Dallas, TX, Oklahoma City, OK 2014 - St. Louis, MO, Tulsa, OK, Moline, IL (No Code, IL), Saint Paul, MN, Milwaukee, WI (Yield, WI) 2016 - Greenville, SC (Vs, SC), Raleigh, NC, Columbia, SC, Boston, MA (Fenway Park 1), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
2018 - Seattle, WA (Safeco Field 2), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2), Boston, MA (Fenway Park 2)
2020 - Nashville, TN, St. Louis, MO, Oklahoma City, OK, Phoenix, AZ, ?? 2022 - Nashville, TN, St. Louis, MO, Oklahoma City, OK, Phoenix, AZ, Las Vegas, NV 2023 - St. Paul, MN 2, Fort Worth, TX 2, Austin, TX 1, and Austin, TX 2
2024 - Portland, OR and Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
2012 - Temple of the Dog East Troy, WI (PJ20 Destination Weekend) 2014 - Soundgarden Tinley Park, IL (with Nine Inch Nails)
2014 - Alice in Chains Davenport, IA
2016 - Chris Cornell Solo Madison, WI and Peoria, IL (official hometown show)
2016 - Temple of the Dog San Francisco, CA (both shows) 2017 - Soundgarden Dallas (cancelled) RIP Chris Cornell
2018 - Smashing Pumpkins Chicago, IL (first show)
2019 - Alice in Chains Milwaukee, WI
2022 - Jerry Cantrell Chicago, IL 2023 - Jerry Cantrell Milwaukee, WI
RIP Andrew Wood, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, and Chris Cornell
RIP Mom (may your star shine the brightest in the sky, our family loves and misses you very much, we'll meet again)
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Tattooed Dissident!
Tattooed Dissident!
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I'm just really frustrated you know because I went to her and tried to have a grown up conversation with her about the whole thing and all she did was act very childish towards me....
Tattooed Dissident!
i hope you find a way to manage although it sounds like
your buggered you do need help..
just thought I would pop in and tell you about our experience last night though...Keyton was completely ridiculous last night…I got home and Chyann was trying to help him with his homework while Jason got dinner started and he wouldn’t work with her, he wasn’t listening, not focusing just throwing guesses out, and he knows his numbers, but he wouldn’t do it…so he ended up getting put in a time out, and after about 10 minutes I asked him, if Mrs Jaxell asked you what number comes after a 5, what would you tell her, and he says “six”(instead of guessing a random number), then Chyann asked him why he wouldn’t do his homework for us and he answers her with “I think I don’t have to” so then she asks him do you think I have to do mine? To which he replies “yes” so I ask him what makes you so special then that you don’t have to do your homework? And he says in front of all three of us, “my wheelchair” to which we had to explain to him in a way a 5 year old can understand that just because he’s in a wheelchair that doesn’t give him special privileges…
Tattooed Dissident!
nice to hear from you..
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Tattooed Dissident!
Tattooed Dissident!
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- Christopher McCandless
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
Prague Krakow Berlin 2018. Berlin 2022
EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
I wish i was the souvenir you kept your house key on..
"Are you homework? I wanna do you."
Keyton said it to me last night,....
Jason and I laughed so hard....lol
Tattooed Dissident!
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers!
Tattooed Dissident!
hope your not overly stressed
might be a good idea to burn
some lavender in the house
to relax or something
take care..
Good thoughts.
2003 - Champaign, IL
2006 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
2007 - Chicago, IL Lollapalooza
2009 - Chicago, IL 1 & 2
2010 - St. Louis, MO
2011 - East Troy, WI 1 & 2 (PJ20 Destination Weekend)
2012 - Atlanta, GA, Missoula, MT
2013 - Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field), Dallas, TX, Oklahoma City, OK
2014 - St. Louis, MO, Tulsa, OK, Moline, IL (No Code, IL), Saint Paul, MN, Milwaukee, WI (Yield, WI)
2016 - Greenville, SC (Vs, SC), Raleigh, NC, Columbia, SC, Boston, MA (Fenway Park 1), Chicago, IL (Wrigley Field 1 & 2)
2022 - Nashville, TN, St. Louis, MO, Oklahoma City, OK, Phoenix, AZ, Las Vegas, NV
2023 - St. Paul, MN 2, Fort Worth, TX 2, Austin, TX 1, and Austin, TX 2
2014 - Soundgarden Tinley Park, IL (with Nine Inch Nails)
2017 - Soundgarden Dallas (cancelled) RIP Chris Cornell
2023 - Jerry Cantrell Milwaukee, WI