In memory of...

hedonist

Perhaps because it's Rosh Hashana and I've spent the day nicely, happily and somewhat melancholily (new word?) buzzed with our kitties and going through some old photos and stuff, and that this holiday seven years ago was my father's funeral, felt the need to just get it out. Been many years since I formally celebrated this or other Jewish holidays but in retrospect, the date of his burial was fitting in so many ways, fitting of who he was. His religion meant much to him; having his faith took more from his life as a young teen than I can comprehend, yet in turn taught and gave him more character and grace than I can ever hope to achieve.

While I don't post personal / family photos (typically stick to those of nice bud and our cats!) wanted to share this old one of him. In Pisa, a month after turning 23, fresh from fighting in / surviving WWII. The happiness on his face right there was a constant; it was in his heart as well, genuinely so. He lived with humor and gratitude for all he had, demonstrated how you simply can't take anything for granted, to see what and who are truly worth being thankful for and act accordingly.

That's Cat #2 aka George sniffing the pic. Just FYI.



Anyway, this isn't meant to be a sad thread...though any and all sentiments are welcome. Just thought it'd be nice to have a place to share the love and memories of those we've lost, animals included.

For what it's worth, I've been smiling while writing. Still am

WhatYouTaughtMe

What a smile on that handsome fellow! Looks like it was and still is infectious! What an amazing generation of people they were. Very nice thoughts ma'am!

RKCNDY

What a lovely pic of your father Hedo!

Happy New Year to you and your family.

My father in law passed last year, his service was held the day after Thanksgiving...fitting I suppose as he raised 5 kids.

Peace and love to all that have lost a loved one around the holidays.

SD48277

Hedo, my heart swells for you and your dad. Such beautiful words, and what an awesome picture. He looks like he would have been a blast to hang out with. On this day, and always:

hedonist

Thank you for such kindness!

Yeah, the ladies came sniffing around after our parents split. They hated my sister and me because we always had their number.

I just caught part of People's Court (admit to having a crush on Judge Milian) and got tears because plaintiff daughter ended up hugging her defendant dad

Leezestarr313

Wonderful picture, he sounds like a great person. Shana Tovah to you and yours, Hedo!

ldent42

Wobbie

thanks for sharing, Hedo.

so.....you like those phony court shows, huh? hot bench, too?

hedonist

"Hot bench" sounds like something I need to look up on Urban Dictionary.

And you know full well where I stand!

Must say though that the judges have a nice gig these days.

(do NOT take this as an opportunity to disparage Judy )

Wobbie

hot bench is a "judge" judy creation.

hedonist

Hahaha!

I didn't know it's a show.

Checked it out a bit, looks like shit.

Wasn't intended to rhyme...and I noticed your "quotation".

PJfanwillneverleave1

This thread is confusing.
Is it about your mourning Hedo?
or

hedonist

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

This thread is confusing.
Is it about your mourning Hedo?
or

What exactly is muddling the process of getting it? Thought what I wrote was upfront but more than happy to expound if it wasn't clear.

Wobbie

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

This thread is confusing.
Is it about your mourning Hedo?
or

It is. I kinda derailed it, due to an inside joke.

It's about her love for her Dad.

hedonist

imalive said:

PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

This thread is confusing.
Is it about your mourning Hedo?
or

It is. I kinda derailed it, due to an inside joke.

It's about her love for her Dad.

It's cool, Rob. We are.

I stand by my pm

brianlux

Sweet thread, Hedo. What a nice looking guy, your dad.

oftenreading

Nice tribute to your dad; thanks for posting it.

hedonist

Thank you, good folks

deadendp

He lived with humor and gratitude for all he had, demonstrated how you simply can't take anything for granted, to see what and who are truly worth being thankful for and act accordingly.

What a wonderful man to smile about. Thank you for your kindness in sharing your dad with all of us.

RiotZact

As everyone else has said, seems like an awesome guy. Thanks for sharing!

hedonist

Sometimes recognition means shit, and other times it means so very much.

This is a case of the latter

dankind

Wow! So inspiring, Hedo. I am going to try to be a better father and smile more.

samjam

What a great picture, thanks for sharing. He seemed like a wonderful, wonderful man. How lucky are we to have fathers who have such genuinely impacted our lives for the better. Their legacy will always live on. Hits home with me. Hope you had a nice holiday.

hedonist

dankind - despite your av - I'm sure you smile a lot. It really does affect how we, as children/now adults, look back.

samjam, I've read of you and your late father. Sounds like he was a great dad, who obviously raised a lovely daughter.

Thank you both!

badbrains

Hedonist, you always have beautiful words and love the story of pops. I'm gonna spark one up for the fella and you.

Who Princess

Hedonist, your tribute to your dad and this whole thread are wonderful and give me reason to smile. It's been nearly 8 years since I lost my dad; he meant the world to me and so much of who I am was formed by his upbeat attitude and positive outlook. How lovely that you can share this memory of your dad with us.

I want to add that since you mentioned your dad's faith and the observance of Rosh Hashana, I've always felt a slight envy of Jewish mourning customs. Until I worked with 2 Jewish women many years ago, I wasn't aware of shiva and other proscriptions for mourning loved ones. I think most of us kind of stumble around with our grief and often can't find a way to resolve it. It's also popular nowadays to say that we dislike formalized, old-fashioned rituals. But there's a reason that cultures establish those rituals and I think there's benefit in at least observing them to some extent. It gives us that chance to remember and honor our loved ones and helps us to accept their passing.

Enkidu

Hedo, lovely post. I enjoyed reading about your dad. My dad passed away when I was in graduate school and he was such a big influence on my life. Encouraged my writing, busted my ass when I didn't try hard enough. My mom died about 5 years ago, but she had a good long life. My dad - he got gypped. I love this photo of the two of them. I remember thinking, "Wow, they're old and look how he's kissing her."

Thank you for making me smile when I think about my parents.

hedonist

Nart! Thank you, buddy. I'll be joining you later

WhoP, glad you got a smile! The rituals can / do help to cope (at least from what I've seen, having never formally sat Shiva). Try Persian-Jewish mourning rituals for an enhanced and unusual experience There's something to be said for sharing grief, even if only through tears or words or wailing in pain. And of course, we all have our own means of finding peace over time.

Your dad sounds like one of the good ones. You and all are welcome to share memories!


By the way, the ritual talk reminded me of the first episode of Six Feet Under; seems apropos:

Nate crosses to the mound of earth beside the grave, kneels down and plunges his hand in. He stands, holding a fistful of dirt, the sleeve of his suit jacket soiled.

Everyone stares, concerned, baffled, and in David's case, angry. He crosses to Nate and attempts to pull him back. Nate shakes him off, roughly.

NATE
No. I refuse to sanitize this anymore.

DAVID
This is how it's done.

NATE
Yeah, well, it's whacked. What is this stupid saltshaker, this, this hermetically sealed box, this phony astroturf around the grave. Jesus, it's like surgery. Clean. Antiseptic. Business.

He was our father.

DAVID (quietly)
Please don't do this.

NATE
You can pump him full of chemicals, and put makeup on him, and prop him up for a (air quotes) "Nap" in the "slumber room," but the fact remains: The only father we will ever have is gone. Forever. And that sucks, but it's a goddamn part of life and you can't really accept it without getting your hands dirty. Well, I do accept it, and I intend to honor the old bastard by letting the world see just how fucked up and shitty I feel that he's dead.

And he angrily throws his fistful of dirt into the grave.

hedonist

Enkidu - my gosh, that photo brought tears to my eyes. The most valuable gift parents can give their children is openly and honestly loving each other.

Love those ass-busting dads - and mine had a very similar shirt as yours

badbrains

Enkidu said:

Hedo, lovely post. I enjoyed reading about your dad. My dad passed away when I was in graduate school and he was such a big influence on my life. Encouraged my writing, busted my ass when I didn't try hard enough. My mom died about 5 years ago, but she had a good long life. My dad - he got gypped. I love this photo of the two of them. I remember thinking, "Wow, they're old and look how he's kissing her."

Thank you for making me smile when I think about my parents.

I wish this pic is me and my lady in the far future. Nice post.

PureandEasy

Lovely photo and tribute Hedo. I almost feel guilty saying I had dinner with my dad tonight. We've had our share of losses, mom in Feb '14 and my brother in Dec '14.

Those losses have brought us closer together and for that I will be forever grateful.

Fathers are such strength to the family thread. God bless all of them.

And for those who are no longer with us, your imprint on your loved ones will live on.