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Diary of A D.O.E.F.; The World In My Eye...
whispering hands
Under your skin Posts: 13,527
No that's not a typo.. I have only one working eyeball.. So it's a running joke.. And D.O.E.F. Stands for
D.generate
O.ld
E.litist
F.uck
So one day I will explain why I believe I am the way that I am. But let's just get through today in the cliff notes.. I can't not share these people with you!! Living in Colorado Springs has to be the most unique fucking town I have ever lived in!! And the writer in me says write about it.. So since you humans make me laugh, I figured I'd return the favor by telling you how I view the things I see around me, cause I'm a weirdo, and I read people, real quick , and really hardcore. It's just something I have been forced to do.. I can feel your " energy" the vibes that people put off, and i have a crazy sense of smell.. So between that and I can't see from one eye at all.. Lmao going out in public is a chore.. I hate having to be around and deal with a lot of people.. Cause it's exhausting.. And often overwhelming..But some days like today..I embrace it.. I welcome it.. And then I fucking regret it..humorously.. And that's what this thread is all about.. Feel free to share your own town weirdos..
D.generate
O.ld
E.litist
F.uck
So one day I will explain why I believe I am the way that I am. But let's just get through today in the cliff notes.. I can't not share these people with you!! Living in Colorado Springs has to be the most unique fucking town I have ever lived in!! And the writer in me says write about it.. So since you humans make me laugh, I figured I'd return the favor by telling you how I view the things I see around me, cause I'm a weirdo, and I read people, real quick , and really hardcore. It's just something I have been forced to do.. I can feel your " energy" the vibes that people put off, and i have a crazy sense of smell.. So between that and I can't see from one eye at all.. Lmao going out in public is a chore.. I hate having to be around and deal with a lot of people.. Cause it's exhausting.. And often overwhelming..But some days like today..I embrace it.. I welcome it.. And then I fucking regret it..humorously.. And that's what this thread is all about.. Feel free to share your own town weirdos..
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Swear to God, I overheard this today.. Ok, so let me start at the beginning.. I woke up all happy, stiff sore and didn't want to be up that early, but happy none the less.. I get ready, go out the door..get in the car.. Head towards the interstate.. My on ramp.. Is under construction.. So I figure I'm better off on the back roads anyhow.. So I head off into broken -through -way -hell.. Where the streets cut off then mysteriously pick up again five blocks down.. Ahh Colorado Springs.. Nothin like a morning drive across the back stretch of town with the world's Best Worst Drivers!! So I figure.. I'm already going from Pretty in Pink, to Pretty Pissy In Pink.. So, I break out a bit of granola, and I'm there early.. So I am
Trying to figure, how much THC it's gonna take to keep me from killing anyone today.. ( that didn't take long). I look over.. And there's this small straggle of humans gathered on sidewalk.. Waiting. And all it takes was that one look... And about 26% THC to just get OUT OF THE CAR.... I make sure all is safely locked up in the car and join the ever growing herd.. Hanging off on the side so I can get a good even read on everyone. I got asked for cigarettes by allllllll of them... One by one.. So glad I don't smoke.. Although I think today, I did manage to make it out of the house looking like I smoke Crack.... But that's ok.. I fit right the fuck in, so no one noticed..
The doors open, we go in, sit down.. Start to fill out paperwork.. And I'm giggling, because the basics are so fucking spellled out.. Write name here..in ink.. No pencil or other substance.. Fuckng for real?? Damn and I was looking so forward to writing in the person next to me's blood!!
Then I'm done filling out my stuff.. ( ok , so I should warn you..it can get judge mental up in my head.. When people stick out to me.. I ' Name' them) and this 19 yr old kid.. Comes and sits at the corner chair of the table opposite my chair.. He's got the do rag, slung pants. Wife beater under a down puff jacket with 9,000 lbs of gold chains, rings.. Bleh bleh bleh.. Sits down, plugs in his ear buds, ( which had simply been hanging from his ears.. And proceeds to movk Rock Ginuine's Pony. Not a remix.. Or a sample of that song, THAT song.. And it's the club version.. Like 5mins long or something!! So I nicked named this kid Pony Boy. And he's just lost in dream land, dreaming Of God fucking knows.. God KNOWS I don't wanna know..then comes this really really pretty little tiny chick.. And she has on this gigantic ass fur looking coat.. And she asliiiiiiiiiidesssssss that puppy off, and refreshes herself.. Straightening her clothes.. Primping her rainbow colored hair, cooling down the room with her twelve foot eyelashes, everytime she blinked... And then I saw it.. The trim on her cream colored pants suit, was striped and matched every fucking color on her head..and her four inch heels were black Paton leather, saddleback style. Wonder what she does for a living.. Dressing like Rainbow Brite??? Ok.. So then Comes in the Perma Grin Twins.. Swear matching gack faces, looking like they thought it would be like WalMart. Seriously.. This is a class to help inprove job skills, so you can eventually not have to depend on food stamps.. These two ladies come in spun three wheels thin, and STILL Pony Boy is just rocking his bad littl gansta show over in the corner.. Now he's smiling over at Rainbow Brite.. Who bats her eye fans at him.. I swear in between the two of them.. I can feel the Jungle Love tonight.. And soon he slides on up, skinks on over all slow and dramatic like.. Sits down and the shit is on.. People are giggling.. Oh my god I could go on forever.. It looked to possibly get worse... But they got copies of my paystivs, and I got to run away!! So I fucking DID!!
Some days.. I Walk out my door, all Good Morning world...... Can't wait to see what today brings.. And I almost always walk back IN my door thinking.. What the guck is WRONG with me?!?!? Why the fuck do I do that to myself???
Thank god for Pot!!
So here's my bitch on driving in snow....there days when it's ok for you amateurs to go out and do your daily deeds, in snowy conditions...you use thoooooose days to practice.... FOR TODAY... NOT on a day like this.. Haven't driven In conditions like this since Kansas City... Lol I swear.. My blessing to this city is this.. I promise to protect the idiots from the real drivers in Colorado Springs...now that I have made it to work safely.. No thanks to the other drivers that have no business trying to learn to drive in snow in THESE CONDITIONS...now to start my day out... Love ya'll for letting me rant!!
Gonna go chill with these cats.. Both the humans. and animals. ( God, there's like 17-20 feral cats in this trailer park.)
So I gotta snowed into a good friend's house last night. And I just love these people to pieces!! I'm going to miss them terribly when they move back to New Orleans. :-( The weather was horrible, but the company was great! I got super ripped outta my mind, which I kinda needed... And then the craziest thing happened. The new meighbor comes over to see if he could borrow a snow shovel.. And I swear I know him.. And he's looking at me like I'm looking at him..and good old Sage is offering him coffee, and he looks over at the pipe on the table.. And I could tell he really wanted to smoke.. But it's just bugging the shit outta me that I swear I know this guy.. But after living in 9 states.. Who knows where I know him from..then it hits me!!! I worked with this guy in Indio at the polo fields!! So I ask if his name is James Fielder, and fucking A !!! It IS HIM!! So he is kinda tripping, wondering how I know his name..but he recognizes me too..then it clicks in his head.. And he just yells " Shrub!!" Which was his nickname for me., and we're hugging it out.. And Sage is confused as fuck... So we explain that we used to work together in the horse world. Turns out injury ended his riding career too. So we exchanged battle wounds, and caught up.. Of all people in all places... And Sage got to hear about the time I punched a horse unconcious.. And picked a car up out of a ditch by myself... And about the infamous shoe show in 1993.. He was not surprised at all to know I still follow PJ everywhere.. And he said everytime he hears them
He thinks of me... What a crazy small world!!
I love hanging out with old Mikitary Vets!! Sage Cracks me the fuck up!!! So his wife Rana and I used to work together at the hospital here in COS. Which by the way.. Is the Abbreviation for Colorado Springs..just learned that yesterday!! Whoop! So.. I'd forgotten what it was like to live in a military population. THIS is like military hub here! AF, ARMY,Navy Intel, and Hospital, medical center, spinning wheel... Getting the idea??? That's Colorado Springs.. It was just like this in 29 Palms, Los Alamos, I've lived in a few Military Towns.. But this one is my ALLL time most entertaining one so far!! So here's how I got the story that I am about to tell you... Like I said Rana and I met at the hospital, we hit it right off.. She's cooler than ice water!! And so is her husband Sage. Like I said.. I'm gonna miss them!!
So Rana and I worked with this girl, that will be known as Army Stupid.. Sorry but you'll get it in a minute, after I tell you her story.. So she has like three kids all under five.. Her husband supposedly works for The Army.. Only while the whole time we have worked with her.. Almost three years...and she has no fucking clue what he does...doesn't know if it's a desk job, motor Poole, .... Seriously... No fucking clue... Which is weird.. In itself.. So we're talking about this girl
Army Stupid.... And Sage tells us the following story..
One of his Core mates, had a wife that was a bit of a Smoky Mountain Miracle.. Down home Country Special, she rode the short Mule.. If get what I mean.. But she was loyal and loved her husband.. So one day, she asks her husband what he does in the Military, and he's a smartass, so his response was..... "Well, honey, they just made me Chief Shithole Digger.." And she's ok with it.. No one think s anything .. Then they go ( Sage and this guy) to the Commissary, and the female clerk tells them.. "Man your wife the other day, was telling us about how she was so proud that they'd made you Chief Shithole Digger!!" So they about die laughing, and we did too! So I had to share that with you.. Cause ya'll just have to know one to understand.
Nothing special, just some part-time security work at the slots casino in the grand stand. Easiest job i have ever had. They have a quite room that I get a good nap in just about every shift. My uncle used to train the trotters. I would spend a month there in summer late 70s early 80s and help out around the farm. great time. I had my first girlfriend when i was ten. She was the farmers daughter across the road. Good clean fun when we were kids, catching frogs, fishing the creek and learning to kiss in the barn up in the hay loft. Her name was Angie. Wow, I almost forgot I was that young once.
Nice little trip down memory lane, thanks for the inspiration.
8->
So I am a country girl, living in a city.. Albeit it's a pretty cool city, not as neat as Kansas City per-se.. But I've only been here three years, too. I am slowly falling in love with this space on the Earth.. Even if it's fellow inhabitants are a little irritating yet entertaining. But Colorado Springs has the perfect culmination of Nature just outside the city limits.. Literally. There are Open Spaces, trails, bike paths, walking paths.. It's like health nut central here.. Which I love, cause if I can be out doors... I am! Annnndd nestled at the foot of The Rocky Mountains here with us in COS, is the most amazing city park I have EVER seen. Ok, I don't about you guys.. But I remember the very first time I read about Garden of The Gods... I was in middle school, and we were studying Geology! And the pictures.. Seriously.. I was in daydream Land..envisioning myself atop these crazy rock formations! Then life happened and I forgot about my beloved GOG.. But then.. I moved next door to the park!!! I live five minutes drive from here!! A twenty minute walk! So with all this crazy weather we've been having.. I took advantage of the 51 degrees outside and went hiking. I walked for hours.. 3 1/2 to be exact.. Now, with my having Nuerapathy, and a plate in my right hip.. I walk a little or hobble a little slower than most, til I can get moving.. So that's part of it.. But it was truly icy, and muddy as well.. So part lame human, part natural conditions.. It took me a while to hobble around the park yesterday. But that was nice.. No hurry, just unfettered time to enjoy my surroundings. I took pics for ya'll, so you can see how crazy amazing this place is!
It is one of those things, like the ocean.. That makes you realize just how finite we humans are..
So I hiked, and thought.. Smoked a bowl..( which I haven't actually smoked in three years.. So I was really stoned!! Lol) and this place is 2300 acres, a few square miles of reservation preserved lands!! So there's plenty of space to go get lost!! And with the aid of a trusty partial TOPO map, I kind of sorta did just that!!
So here, is what I got to see yesterday...
The park map.
Coming into the park... From where I live..
Coming out of the central garden..
A little perspective for you.. Look how tiny the car is compared to the rock!! That's just ONE rock!
The Rockies in the background..
You just hike around giant clusters of crazy cool rocks..
And some of them are just geological brain fucks! Like this...
Oh and look!! A lightning bolt!! I just noticed that!! ^^^^
Some of the rock formations have names.. These are the Siamese Twins..
Some more crazy Striation..
The backside of the central garden..
The back side of the rock with the car in front of it earlier..
And a good clear view of Cheyenne Mountainzz( where NORAD is located).
And there it is.. Though not nearly all of it!! This is in my backyard!!
I can remember as a kid my dad telling me the stories from the Bible about the folks written about in the Bible, and how their faith saved them, or changed circumstances. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. While I have personally been getting deeper involved in my church, I have gotten to see a few mustard seeds of faith well up in me. But none so much so as in this new job. This may get long winded.. But let me get it out...
When I was 4, my mother OD'd on heroin.. My sister and I left her there and toddled away hoping to find a better family..Social Services took us and placed us in foster care. Unbeknownst to us.. They'd located our dad who had just remarried. We lived in that hell hole of a foster home for six months before my dad and step mom could come get us. Our mother was court ordered into a two year rehab. So they show up and rescue us. But believe me when I say that permanent damage had ready been done. We live with them for two years,( by this time my dad is a Christian, got his life together, and is a stand up guy, married to THE most amazing human being I have ever met so far in life.), and I can distinctly remember my step mom sitting down with us writing letters to our mother in rehab back in Kansas. Our mother gets out, comes back out to Cali, and tells my dad and step mom, she wants to take Melissa and I to San Juan Capistrano, for the weekend. He agrees, but we're enrolled in school there, so make sure we're back by Monday.. And they could work out further details from there. We are packed for a weekend.... We stay for three years.. She pretty much kidnapped us. Which brings us to how I met the love of my life.
After three years of distress and cut off communications.. My dad gets pissed and hires a PI. Who locates us in the lower Riverside County School District. We happen to ride the bus to school with our cousins, Jennifer and Stenfanie. Who told their dad, who told our dad, who then hired a PI to track us down. He gets a court order for custody, thank God, cause by this point, our mother isn't on drugs anymore.. But she married the most psychotic mother fucker possible..this sawed off Cuban asshole named Gilbert. ( he looked like Osama Bin Laden!! Swear to god! The resemblance is fuckin scary!!) So then we're entrenched in a five year custody battle, during which in the RivCo family court system I meet Eddie. We were 9. Both scared shitless cause our worlds were being turned upside down over adult arguments and bureaucratic bullshit. We talk, and even though he speaks broken English, we find we get along well. We soon discover that we live in the same tiny mountain town.. Idyllwild, CA. And his family goes to the church my dad is pastoring! We grow up together. Eventually we fall in love and decide that after I'm done with my two year internships with the horse world, we're going to open our own training facility.
Then while I was away in Oklahoma, setting up shop... I get a call from an old family friend in Cali, asking for my help in preparing his daughter's horse for a cross country run. So I go. While I am there, I have my accident. You know how you experience some things in slow motion?? This started out like that.. Then it all zoomed into focus as I heard my own bones break.. Then I don't remember shit.. Until I woke up in the hospital, hung up in traction. I was there for over 9 months, not including rehab.. And while I was there IN CALIFORNIA... Where my love lived as well.. He never but once came to see me. Over time, I grew angry. I finally called him one night to ask why?
My absolute arch Nemesis bitch cunt evil enemy, answered the phone all out of breath, telling whomever was on the other line, ( me) that it better be good, cause they were busy!! I hung up. And bawled... And bawled.... And bawled... And I screamed so horrendously loud they stuck me in the psych ward for a week.
I broke that day.. Something inside me broke, and all my faith slipped away. I had always been anti drugs, anti alcohol.. But I snapped.. I did everything I could, smack, crack, speed, LSD, shrooms, anything that would crush the pain. I walked away from church, told God He could go fuck himself. ( I literally said that! :-( ). I ran wild.. Didn't fucking care if I died.. Blah blah blah.. But after my one and only suicide attempt, I vowed never to repeat that.. So I just did stupid shot in hopes I'd die?? Anyhow.. That was over twenty years ago.. And now.. I have family around me that is helping me slowly rebuild my life.and I am
Once again aware of that tiny little mustard seed of faith that survived. It is powerful! So as I recover, I am constantly reminded of how the little things, sometimes take heaps of faith to accomplish.. And believe it or not, you guys here have been a huge part of all the recovery. Many times on here, my faith in humanity is restored.. So thank you all.. Thank you all for being true to who you are. For just being yourselves. :-) but most of all. Thanks for putting up with me! And having that mustard seed of faith in me..
Godfather.
WH, no need to thank anyone. It's all - to refer to the old board incarnation - Synergy.
And, thanks to you for baring (and bearing) your scars and wounds - and perspective through healing.
Keep letting it out, and here's to your continued Release.
you are correct my friend !
we have been thinking or really are moving away from Cali in the next year or so depending when the plant I work closes and the pictures WH posted look like a place we'd like to live,,it's beautiful !
Godfather.
Live! I love it here!
So in doing my research for schools through which to renew or relearn all my vet tech stuff, I have found a couple of other schools. I want one where I can take my boards, and get back into the Association of CVTs again.. And begin to rebuild my life. No stupid pipe dreams, but something that is doable and sustains me in life. I don't need a lot. I just want something where I can support a comfy but tiny life. I plan on doing a minimalist life. I was happiest, and AM happiest when I have very few possessions. I want a dog. But I am grateful for the time I have to study my kitty. He is very smart and is learning to listen like a dog! Lol.
He is also reminding me to take time to just live in the moment, slow down.. Look around, and enjoy my surroundings. I feel like I am moving again...
When I was in school originally for Animal Behavioral Sciences, I had a course in which we discussed mental imbalance in animals, and temperment disorders.. And the only real cure for nuerosis in an animal, is to get their brain to move forward. The most automatic trigger it to get them to focus on MOVING forward, physically. And now that I am forcing myself to face my passed fears, and tackle this mission of going back to school, I can see how that is relieving to us humans as well. I am getting back into the focus of being responsible, and functioning human being in the real world again. It has been a long time since I've been brave enough to go do this shit again. I am partly excited, and have my feelers out, but I'm mostly optimistic. Yet there is still a piece inside that shivers... I tremble at the thought of failure.. But I also know now what I didn't know then..I guess it is a normal healthy fear.. A caution of sorts.. But in the long run, I know I just need to get back in there and I'll work it out.. But whew.. So much stimuli!! It's so overshelming to me. So much information.. And not just curricular information, but human information.. Scents, energies, attitudes.. I have to learn how to tune all that background info out.. But it's not easy.. I can hear shit I shouldn't smell things k shouldn't.. It's crazy and insanely overwhelming.. But I'm looking forward to moving forward.. Just one little step.. But each adds up.. One step, two step... Forward.. Just keep moving forward, and everything will be as it is supposed go be..And never forget to stay in the moment.. Never lose sight of the here and now in search of the future.. And most of all.. Just Breathe.. ( that's about the most you'll get outta me, as to a quote from that song..)
Torture from you to me
Abducted from the street
you think I wont come around
seed of faith sprouted
I won't be held down
I'd rather be
I'd rather be with
I'd rather be with an Animal
In joyous part
So I can't sleep. All night I've been having weird dreams about school. Guess it's nerves. But I hate not sleeping. I don't want to be tired and worn out to go talk to these people. So here I sit, listening to Riot Act....trying to soothe my crumpled nerves. I don't think I ever thought of myself as a really sensitive person.. But I just believe after all the crap I have been through, that I became ultra aware of how truly devastating life can be. It has to be, because I remember being nervous when I did my application interview for UC Davis, but I also remember being confident in my experience too. This time is different, I'm 41 now, and rather old to be restarting this profession. However I truly believe that this is what I am supposed to be doing in life. I really don't require much to be happy.. I just want enough to payy own way, and to be making a valuable difference with what I am doing. Is that being greedy? I hope not.
I know I'm rambling on, but I am just trying to get all this crap in my head OUT, so maybe I can get an hour or more's sleep. It really is frustrating not being able to sleep. I'm jealous as fuck of my sister Melissa, who can lay her head on a pillow and be asleep, guckin wish it was that easy.. But my brain never shuts up.. It's like my brain is in hyperdrive 24/7. I wish there was a way to harness that...? Hmm. So, so far I am trying to think of things that will make me sleepy... I've read the end of two books I was almost done with, finished my prerequisite school's application and Grant apps, and read four chapters in the Bible.. Still awake... Phhhht. If only it weren't so early... Maybe I'll just get up and get a shower.. Start my day off early. Ok that's what I'm going to do.. Can't fight insomnia.. Might as well utilize it to get some stuff done!
Ok.. So there's some really cool pics in this chapter! This a blessing, a real God send when it comes to a job, and a really great set of people to work for. It's a family owned and run business. They have been in business for just over twenty years. The craziest part is, that over those 20 years they've had to relocate @ 4 different locations throughout the Springs. Now... Let me first explain, that Colorado Springs is one of the most fucked up, swear they designed the city on acid, sorta city when it comes to road structure, city lay out, designation of place and property zoning.. Etc..... ( BUT to their credit.. This was the first city in the US, to be a full on electricity based unit. They were the first full fledged town to have electricity.. Shops, homes, schools etc. mind you.. Other people HAD electricity in the US.. We were just the first full fledged TOWN; at that time to be RUN with it.) also Nicholi Tesla got kicked out of COS, for creating an earthquake here while studying magnetic propulsion induced by elctromagnetic static fields!! So..... Some interesting history here, STILL the most fucked street, lay out, zone designation, highway structures.. They literally built this fucking town around military bases, then smunched it together into one city when when the military populations melded eventually.. So yeah, no one " planned" this city, they just fucking "made it happen.." So now that it's a full on city, we pay the price of hurried growth, with no constructive planning in place...That having been said.. This business has moved to four unique and a couple of obscure locations here in COS. BUT.. They are so friendly, family and customer oriented [owners], that their customer base has followed them all over the city!! We are always getting people coming in saying, " OMG, I finally found you guys again!!" It's a trip, but definitely a testament to the kind of service, and friendly atmosphere you are welcomed with when you come into this store.
So... Let me explain the store, and then I'll show you all the cool shot I get to play around with all day! Lol it's what you call a Salvage store. It's kind of like a thrift store of sorts.. But we sell groceries of dry and canned stock sorts. In all actuality, what this place is, is a brilliant mind taking heaps of advantage of a wasteful situation, and making it profitable!! Ok so let me explain that a bit better. When grocery chains hit the sell by date in foods, they throw them out. Or they used to. But people like my boss John that have that unique money master mind in business senses, see that and are wise enough to know that those dates are a rotation movement ploy. That food isn't bad... It still has six months to a year shelf life left.. The stores just constant move product, so it appears, at all times to be current and 'fresh', which in itself is a brilliant master minded ploy! So somewhere along the line, these people , John and his like, began to bid on boxes of throw away items. We get them, root through them item by item, weed out the stuff that really is bad, and process ( transaction not handling) them, and sell them. Same thing with LP ( loss prevention) boxes from big name clothing stores etc. He also has an eBay and Amazon store accounts. So we ship, receive, and resell everything!!! Smart right??? So that's the store.. Now.. HERE's the store... It's so much fun working here!!
When you pull into the south parking lot, looking west.. This is what you see. Pike's Peak.
East..
The sign truck.. Out front.
One door, two door...
STORE!!!
So... That is where I work!! My bosses rock!! And I love getting up and coming to work for the very first time in YEARS!! Now, I am personally inviting anyone who ends up here in Colorado Springa, to come visit us! Ask me on here, or look em up on FB! But come say hi!!!
We look forward to meeting you!!
For Eddie being so outspoken politically , how ironic that the pearl jam communisty right under his nose goes so unnoticed.