poem: 8:13/9:13

chadwick

you just about pissed me off
but you did not
what you did achieve
was this

i nearly sold both my guitars but i realized that was bad thinking on my part
gave away this antique birdcage
dropped off the lamp you gave me at the salvation army
sold the lawnmower $0.15
tomorrow some older gentleman is stopping over & i'm selling all the screws, washers, bolts & nails collected over the years all in coffee cans & jars screwed into the ceiling where the jar lids are solidly fixed to big ass wooden beams

i came back to life
woke up on the floor in a whiskey stupor & a terrible idea
haze... all of it was fuzzy like those pimp ass vans & freeway dice

nearly went to our favorite chateau
done a john belushi real good
rolled along missed each & every pothole
sank every ship i could find
ran with the mob & sold shoes (well logging boots)

this head on my shoulders sounded like a dead amphitheater
broken down
rusted up & pathetic yet full of chaos living off of me like some sorta god damn parasite

my insensibilities drove me mad
but i was done gone past this point long ago
now my filthy bedding rips against my lying down self
feeling even unwanted in my own skin
maybe taste a bite
the old & the blind
something like cinderella

i feel afraid these nights
lifeless screams
but i gave away all our trunks fulla carnival costumes
your nightgowns & ballroom dancing dresses
you know the ones
the illusion sleeves
illusion neckline & bust

your chest were flowers
red silk under the many chandeliers
at midnight the supermoons each month
got away from us just by inches
straped across your shoulders no escape
the ladders i held we climbed just almost getting it right there our each fingertips
each dance like this

& your toothbrush
i'm keeping this one
the doorknobs turned a lot back then
alone now sending them nowhere to turn
the quickened volume seemed overnight
from near silenced the hinge
to one squeaky piece of shit son of a bitch about to piss me off
(just rip the bastard off the damn wall & throw it across the house)
maybe sell it

justam

Is that last bit about ripping a hinge off the wall?
Lol!

chadwick

no, the entire door & whatever hinges come w/ it once it is yanked clear off the thing & thrown across the house, then i'm thinking of selling the door at my upcoming garage sale

thank you for reading my writing

lazloblue

Seems like a very powerful rush of emotions.
I can relate to that.

chadwick

(could be) a quarter to ten
all of them, they gave us time together
even the busted few
these lovely clocks in fortune
wall after wall as leather seating rests in dust below
brown to black
red to green
writing desk, couches & your purple suede ottoman

?do you remember wondering if sparks from the fireplace
would hit the ottoman

well they don't
however your ottoman was given to a lovely couple visiting the area
they're from davenport or maybe san francisco
i don't quite remember
but it's one of those places
the garage sale sign was seen & they stopped for treasure hunting

signature timepieces
he wore a rolex
she fancied pearls
both earrings & necklace
we had tea after loading your purple ottoman onto the roof of their little vehicle
tied her down with rope i pulled out from some box
but first wrapped the thing in one of those blue tarps
we used to use when camping & it'd be one raining bastard out
i guess next week they wanna take me out to supper
"i'm for caveman food" i told 'em
scared 'em off i think

later that evening nearly dark
a family of owls lined up on that branch right there above our backpatio
& there musta been seven of 'em
they were small
something like quail size but owls
this is the first time i've saw 'em since you took off

lit the grill
rolled up a few of our dreams & had one
you're still as beautiful as ever
clever, funny & nerd like
your eyes still resemble earth
blue green just thrown about by a drunk artist
?or were they black
that fuckin widow spider attitude of yours
?but please can i have this night nicely without all your nasty ass bullshit

you used to look so nice in that white sweater
your breasts... tight sweater on
excellent home we had
you'd be painting upstairs
no sweater white one but shirtless in your bib overalls
paint smears & drips everywhere
a dry brush in your hair
the vision of sexual hunger danced across those eyes of yours
i've never understood why you would or would not (pause)

justam

chadwick said:

no, the entire door & whatever hinges come w/ it once it is yanked clear off the thing & thrown across the house, then i'm thinking of selling the door at my upcoming garage sale

thank you for reading my writing

I always read your writing! You don't have to thank me.

I like the wild visions you place in our midst. The phrases so often require interpretation and visualization and even punctuation!

chadwick

i dislike capital letters, most punctuation & the standard way

chadwick

kinda like those flat notes
we liked better music than that
had those speakers goin good
your old pioneer receiver warm & smelling like they do
?remember that

& now that stupid fucking toaster
no wonder i smashed it to pieces w/ your father's old (double bladed) axe
"watch it chadwick, don't hurt yourself, pieces are flyin everywhere & you are drunk"
i told you i was golden as shit ?remember
"leave me alone, i'm killing this bastard," i told ya
i did take a piece of shrapnel to the eye
you were my nurse again some more

good to go

?remember when you picked those splinters out of my hands?
you also cleaned my back up after that accident
gravel boy strikes again
that'll smart
?i was coming to pick you up remember
that dang motorcycle drunked up... kesslers
the speedway was closed
god, thank you for that
even the green pastures presented yellow flowers
but that rain stung i do know that
was a weekend didn't have to go to work
stackin damn lumber all day
feedin the chipper down there 'n the basement there, that hungry son of a bitch barkin,
snortin & carryin on
just a belchin monster
sawdust storm you'd swear a blizzard had just lit this bastard up
nope not happenin
hot as shit summers aint havin no cold snow havin at it

it'll make a guy thirsty
a good gallon or two
heck you'd sweated all that out
your underwear, socks & jeans were wet
stunk like crap
work shirts torn up
ringin sweat out the fuckin thing
muscle sleeves & sawdust up your ass
& if that lazy ass nutjob vietnam dude throws another piece of lumber in my general direction
'cause he's all upset he's havin his menstrual cycle & he thinks i'm fuckin him up
i'm gonna wedge a boot up his ass real quick for 'eem
stupid piece of shit

but you always fixed me up
thanks for packin my lunch
that's some mighty fine cold ass water you got there, sweetpieface
& thanks for that too