Retaeh Parsons

polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
edited August 2013 in A Moving Train
kids these days ...

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/dailybre ... 03391.html

sounds like she had a promising life ahead of her ... human nature's cruelty clearly has no bounds and the lessons learned everywhere are having little to no effect ...

how do these kids look themselves in the mirror? :twisted:
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    just read a poem for her online 'Heart Still Beating'
    last line ...

    Hope has failed

    :cry:

    these boys will suffer can't look away from the mirror in the end

    "Judge yourself if you feel the need
    Just let me known to be
    In search of the truth myself
    There is a drop of blood on the ground
    And it seems to me that it's not my kind
    And I can't be sure if its yours or mine."
  • I just read this on cnn. It makes me sick. They circulated a picture of an underage girl and they still weren't arrested. I f$cking can't believe this. That poor girl. :cry:
    "In the age of darkness
    want to be enlightened"
  • Teenage life it tough for some kids. Throw in the fact that the world revolves around them and they can check their precious status on facebook and whatever anytime they want to see if the are relevant or not, well you are just walking into an unwanted world.

    I know the above is not to do with the story all that much. But it fits the bill. You can abuse and be abused on line much, much, easier then face to face. Even if you are posting threats and pictures under your real name.
    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you five years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Parents criticise Canadian police after teen's suicide

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/22106041
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 12,922
    This makes me so damn pissed i don't know how i would react if this happened to my 16yr old daughter :evil:
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 5,312
    polaris_x" said:
    these stories are just heartbreaking and sickening. makes me glad i'm not a kid today. bullying is so much easier today. at least when it happened in our time we could head home and not have to deal with it. with social media today the bullying never stops. it's horrible.
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    pjhawks" said:
    [quote="polaris_x"]this is happening everywhere ...

    http://ca.news.yahoo.com/calif-sheriffs ... 47320.html
    these stories are just heartbreaking and sickening. makes me glad i'm not a kid today. bullying is so much easier today. at least when it happened in our time we could head home and not have to deal with it. with social media today the bullying never stops. it's horrible.[/quote]

    Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 12,922
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/1 ... d%3D297404

    This is fucking sick what has happened to todays teen boys somethintg needs to be done i say try them to the fullest extent of law or make examples of them by putting them away for life , or better yet parents are held liable but clearly these kids think this is ok to do .....Either way our youth in this country has gone to shit ..
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
    Jeanwah" said:
    Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    i dunno ... that sounds very harsh ... retaeh parson had a great relationship with her mom ... she had promised to not kill herself because of the heartache it would do to her mom ... but still ... she got sent over the edge ...

    unless you've been gang-raped and had the photos go viral and lose all your friends and constantly been bullied for years ... not sure you can pass judgment ...
  • Jeanwah" said:

    Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    yikes. that's a pretty judgmental statement to make about a person, don't you think?
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • polaris_x" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    i dunno ... that sounds very harsh ... retaeh parson had a great relationship with her mom ... she had promised to not kill herself because of the heartache it would do to her mom ... but still ... she got sent over the edge ...

    unless you've been gang-raped and had the photos go viral and lose all your friends and constantly been bullied for years ... not sure you can pass judgment ...[/quote]


    But, isn't this pretty much the same story from Ohio? So should she shoulder some of the blame too?

    Just being Devils you know what. ;)
    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you five years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 5,312
    polaris_x" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    i dunno ... that sounds very harsh ... retaeh parson had a great relationship with her mom ... she had promised to not kill herself because of the heartache it would do to her mom ... but still ... she got sent over the edge ...

    unless you've been gang-raped and had the photos go viral and lose all your friends and constantly been bullied for years ... not sure you can pass judgment ...[/quote]

    agree that comment above was pretty harsh. to quote ED and PJ "and the young they can lose hope because they can't see beyond today". always loved that line from Ed and it pretty accurately sums up how something like this can lead to these types of situations.
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
    even flow - question mark" said:
    But, isn't this pretty much the same story from Ohio? So should she shoulder some of the blame too?

    Just being Devils you know what. ;)
    absolutely ... my views on that have not changed ...
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    polaris_x" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]Still, there is something terribly sick about a person to consider that killing themselves is an ideal way to cope. That line of thinking is sickness. It's not simply caused by a bully. These kids probably have no parental support nor resilience.
    i dunno ... that sounds very harsh ... retaeh parson had a great relationship with her mom ... she had promised to not kill herself because of the heartache it would do to her mom ... but still ... she got sent over the edge ...

    unless you've been gang-raped and had the photos go viral and lose all your friends and constantly been bullied for years ... not sure you can pass judgment ...[/quote]

    You're right, her situation is especially awful, and re-reading what I wrote sounds insensitive. I didn't mean it to be.

    I do think that with this epidemic it seems of rapists, gang raping, et al, and then documenting with phones, comes an epidemic of seeking relief though suicide though. They are 2 problems we need to deal with. Did she really tell her mother that? And then go ahead and do it anyway? That is a problem in itself!
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • polaris_x" said:
    [quote="even flow - question mark"]But, isn't this pretty much the same story from Ohio? So should she shoulder some of the blame too?

    Just being Devils you know what. ;)
    absolutely ... my views on that have not changed ...[/quote]


    I know you're a straight shooter. Just wanted to make sure you weren't flip flopping. Maybe American politics got to you. :D
    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you five years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
    Jeanwah" said:
    You're right, her situation is especially awful, and re-reading what I wrote sounds insensitive. I didn't mean it to be.

    I do think that with this epidemic it seems of rapists, gang raping, et al, and then documenting with phones, comes an epidemic of seeking relief though suicide though. They are 2 problems we need to deal with. Did she really tell her mother that? And then go ahead and do it anyway? That is a problem in itself!
    i know you probably didn't mean for it to come out this way ... and similar to my viewpoints on stuebenville -it is worth considering what role that played in the eventual outcome ...

    at the end of the day - we need to explore all aspects of this ever growing reality if we are to make a change ...
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    polaris_x" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]You're right, her situation is especially awful, and re-reading what I wrote sounds insensitive. I didn't mean it to be.

    I do think that with this epidemic it seems of rapists, gang raping, et al, and then documenting with phones, comes an epidemic of seeking relief though suicide though. They are 2 problems we need to deal with. Did she really tell her mother that? And then go ahead and do it anyway? That is a problem in itself!
    i know you probably didn't mean for it to come out this way ... and similar to my viewpoints on stuebenville -it is worth considering what role that played in the eventual outcome ...

    at the end of the day - we need to explore all aspects of this ever growing reality if we are to make a change ...[/quote]

    I sincerely believe in life. If you think about it, the bullies win when the the victim ends their life. It's just so sad that youths now barely hesitate to end their entire lives from bullying. I have no right to judge; I have never been in a situation as this girl had been, but to go as far as ending it all, in spite of everything and everyone including family whom would be broken-hearted.... I just have no words as to using suicide as a coping mechanism... Nothing, no thing is worth choosing death over life (unless you're terminally ill, different topic). And I've been near the end once before, not by choice, Hell I'm really lucky to have my life right now... I would help anyone and everyone who would ever think of ending it all due to being bullied, or any other reason for that matter. It's a serious epidemic and problem that suicide is so casually accepted by bullied youth. We can help these people, but they have to want to help themselves first.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • Jeanwah" said:

    I sincerely believe in life. If you think about it, the bullies win when the the victim ends their life. It's just so sad that youths now barely hesitate to end their entire lives from bullying. I have no right to judge; I have never been in a situation as this girl had been, but to go as far as ending it all, in spite of everything and everyone including family whom would be broken-hearted.... I just have no words as to using suicide as a coping mechanism... Nothing, no thing is worth choosing death over life (unless you're terminally ill, different topic). And I've been near the end once before, not by choice, Hell I'm really lucky to have my life right now... I would help anyone and everyone who would ever think of ending it all due to being bullied, or any other reason for that matter. It's a serious epidemic and problem that suicide is so casually accepted by bullied youth. We can help these people, but they have to want to help themselves first.
    I disagree that suicide is casually accepted by today's youth. I think no matter what generation, it is still an agonizing decision to make. but I think the triggers get worse with every generation. whereas my situation would blow over when the day was done, cameras and videocameras on phones and devices and facebook pages and previously myspace pages make it FOREVER, not to mention the bullies are even worse because they have the shield of the internet. people say things online that they would never say to someone's face. and bullies are no exception. I can't imagine being a kid in today's world. It scares the fuck out of me for my daughters. My wife and I are going to be extremely proactive in talking to them about this shit, because it's out of control.

    yes, you are right, nothing is worth dying for. But put yourself in this position for a moment, in the position of today's youth. even if you move away from the bully, those pictures or videos can potentially haunt you for the rest of your life. Think about that. The rest of your life. I can imagine from that line of thinking that suicide seems like a pretty logical choice.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Hugh Freaking Dillon" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]
    I sincerely believe in life. If you think about it, the bullies win when the the victim ends their life. It's just so sad that youths now barely hesitate to end their entire lives from bullying. I have no right to judge; I have never been in a situation as this girl had been, but to go as far as ending it all, in spite of everything and everyone including family whom would be broken-hearted.... I just have no words as to using suicide as a coping mechanism... Nothing, no thing is worth choosing death over life (unless you're terminally ill, different topic). And I've been near the end once before, not by choice, Hell I'm really lucky to have my life right now... I would help anyone and everyone who would ever think of ending it all due to being bullied, or any other reason for that matter. It's a serious epidemic and problem that suicide is so casually accepted by bullied youth. We can help these people, but they have to want to help themselves first.
    I disagree that suicide is casually accepted by today's youth. I think no matter what generation, it is still an agonizing decision to make. but I think the triggers get worse with every generation. whereas my situation would blow over when the day was done, cameras and videocameras on phones and devices and facebook pages and previously myspace pages make it FOREVER, not to mention the bullies are even worse because they have the shield of the internet. people say things online that they would never say to someone's face. and bullies are no exception. I can't imagine being a kid in today's world. It scares the fuck out of me for my daughters. My wife and I are going to be extremely proactive in talking to them about this shit, because it's out of control.

    yes, you are right, nothing is worth dying for. But put yourself in this position for a moment, in the position of today's youth. even if you move away from the bully, those pictures or videos can potentially haunt you for the rest of your life. Think about that. The rest of your life. I can imagine from that line of thinking that suicide seems like a pretty logical choice.[/quote]

    Agonizing decision, perhaps, but a quick one, you can't deny that. I don't know the logistics of this particular case, but victims don't weigh their options for weeks or months it seems, it's pretty decided and done rather quickly, like a couple days it seems. To me, that's a casual and not clear minded, long thought about decision. A quick way out.

    Listen, I'm not here to argue with you. But there's a thing to be said about resilience. We need to teach our kids that no matter what anyone says or does to them, they have the power of rising above it. That photo or video you reference? Only the kids themselves allow the evidence to tear them apart - yes, it's damaging, but you don't allow another person to win. You don't allow them to drive you to suicide!!! These kids have power, power that they don't use or know how to. They don't have coping skills. That's where we come in.

    You think you are scared about your daughters, I have a daughter with Down syndrome - talk about a reason to bully, bullies take refuge on the ones who can't protect themselves. That's why we need to teach them how to. I'm scared shitless of her being tormented, ever. But she knows that if someone says something mean to her, she knows to ignore it, to not let them get the best of her. I drive that into her every single day. And my girl has confidence to stand up for herself. At least until I have to step in, God forbid.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • Jeanwah" said:

    Agonizing decision, perhaps, but a quick one, you can't deny that. I don't know the logistics of this particular case, but victims don't weigh their options for weeks or months it seems, it's pretty decided and done rather quickly, like a couple days it seems. To me, that's a casual and not clear minded, long thought about decision. A quick way out.

    Listen, I'm not here to argue with you. But there's a thing to be said about resilience. We need to teach our kids that no matter what anyone says or does to them, they have the power of rising above it. That photo or video you reference? Only the kids themselves allow the evidence to tear them apart - yes, it's damaging, but you don't allow another person to win. You don't allow them to drive you to suicide!!! These kids have power, power that they don't use or know how to. They don't have coping skills. That's where we come in.

    You think you are scared about your daughters, I have a daughter with Down syndrome - talk about a reason to bully, bullies take refuge on the ones who can't protect themselves. That's why we need to teach them how to. I'm scared shitless of her being tormented, ever. But she knows that if someone says something mean to her, she knows to ignore it, to not let them get the best of her. I drive that into her every single day. And my girl has confidence to stand up for herself. At least until I have to step in, God forbid.
    I know Jean, I'm just trying to say a teenager rising above and not letting the bullies win is something some adults have a hard time practicing (I deal with it at work and it's fucking stressful), and couple that with the fact that times have changed technology-wise and it's uncharted territory for kids and parents. that's all.
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    Just not true to blame parents and say they must not be supportive. I had loving family
    and much support when I considered suicide.
    For me what happened was depression and a feeling of being trapped.
    I was mostly disappointed in myself and ashamed for feeling as I did.
    I couldn't forgive myself for my mistakes. It's possible this is how this young girl felt,
    except she was not 35 and able to see beyond that terrible place she was.

    "Judge yourself if you feel the need
    Just let me known to be
    In search of the truth myself
    There is a drop of blood on the ground
    And it seems to me that it's not my kind
    And I can't be sure if its yours or mine."
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 12,922
    The only parents i blame are the boy's parents , i have a 19yr old son and i can tell you with out a doubt in my mind my kid would never be part of anything like this ..Why am i so sure because me and him have an open channel of communication there is no out of bound topics i've taught him that everysingle human being should be treated with respect and compassion specially the girls he comes in contact with and that NO MEANS FUCKING NO .........
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Hugh Freaking Dillon" said:
    [quote="Jeanwah"]
    Agonizing decision, perhaps, but a quick one, you can't deny that. I don't know the logistics of this particular case, but victims don't weigh their options for weeks or months it seems, it's pretty decided and done rather quickly, like a couple days it seems. To me, that's a casual and not clear minded, long thought about decision. A quick way out.

    Listen, I'm not here to argue with you. But there's a thing to be said about resilience. We need to teach our kids that no matter what anyone says or does to them, they have the power of rising above it. That photo or video you reference? Only the kids themselves allow the evidence to tear them apart - yes, it's damaging, but you don't allow another person to win. You don't allow them to drive you to suicide!!! These kids have power, power that they don't use or know how to. They don't have coping skills. That's where we come in.

    You think you are scared about your daughters, I have a daughter with Down syndrome - talk about a reason to bully, bullies take refuge on the ones who can't protect themselves. That's why we need to teach them how to. I'm scared shitless of her being tormented, ever. But she knows that if someone says something mean to her, she knows to ignore it, to not let them get the best of her. I drive that into her every single day. And my girl has confidence to stand up for herself. At least until I have to step in, God forbid.
    I know Jean, I'm just trying to say a teenager rising above and not letting the bullies win is something some adults have a hard time practicing (I deal with it at work and it's fucking stressful), and couple that with the fact that times have changed technology-wise and it's uncharted territory for kids and parents. that's all.[/quote]

    You lost me on the bolded part. ? What are some adults doing?
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 11,028
    Teen suicide has been a problem for a long time. In this world, in our society, with us lacking proper initiation rituals, it is very difficult being a teen. But now, so much more so with increased violence, rape and bullying. I went through my teens in the 60's and teen suicide was a concern then but there was far less violence. Gang rape was extremely rare. The world is becoming more violent. A shit storm of trouble is brewing. It's ancient Rome all over again. Maybe worse. What a sad state of affairs.

    Adams Center, Missoula, MT 09/30/12
  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 12,097
    i'm not sure i would say the bullies win ... as much as i hold a significant amount of disdain for the youths that violated her - i hope they didn't think she would end up like this ...

    either way - they are screwed ... anonymous is not gonna sit idly by if they get off ...

    the other people to consider are the people who choose to do nothing ... the kids who saw her raped ... the kids who abandoned her ... the kids who ridiculed her ... i hope they develop a conscience ...
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    brianlux" said:
    Teen suicide has been a problem for a long time. In this world, in our society, with us lacking proper initiation rituals, it is very difficult being a teen. But now, so much more so with increased violence, rape and bullying. I went through my teens in the 60's and teen suicide was a concern then but there was far less violence. Gang rape was extremely rare. The world is becoming more violent. A shit storm of trouble is brewing. It's ancient Rome all over again. Maybe worse. What a sad state of affairs.
    Granted, there is no news but bad news. But I am not a cynical person, much unlike the majority on AMT. It's our outlook on life that dictates our life. Take that from someone who lived in a wheelchair with severely broken femurs and a dead right hand for a year. Yes, it is a more violent world, that's a fact. But dropping ourselves in a sweeping bucket of cynicism and killing ourselves is certainly not the answer. Rising above, overcoming, and making it through the difficult teen years is the answer if one insists on not living in a depressed society, NOT withering within ourselves in a heap of despair and suicide. That's not a way to live. Sorry.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
  • Jeanwah" said:
    [quote="Hugh Freaking Dillon"][quote="Jeanwah"]
    Agonizing decision, perhaps, but a quick one, you can't deny that. I don't know the logistics of this particular case, but victims don't weigh their options for weeks or months it seems, it's pretty decided and done rather quickly, like a couple days it seems. To me, that's a casual and not clear minded, long thought about decision. A quick way out.

    Listen, I'm not here to argue with you. But there's a thing to be said about resilience. We need to teach our kids that no matter what anyone says or does to them, they have the power of rising above it. That photo or video you reference? Only the kids themselves allow the evidence to tear them apart - yes, it's damaging, but you don't allow another person to win. You don't allow them to drive you to suicide!!! These kids have power, power that they don't use or know how to. They don't have coping skills. That's where we come in.

    You think you are scared about your daughters, I have a daughter with Down syndrome - talk about a reason to bully, bullies take refuge on the ones who can't protect themselves. That's why we need to teach them how to. I'm scared shitless of her being tormented, ever. But she knows that if someone says something mean to her, she knows to ignore it, to not let them get the best of her. I drive that into her every single day. And my girl has confidence to stand up for herself. At least until I have to step in, God forbid.
    I know Jean, I'm just trying to say a teenager rising above and not letting the bullies win is something some adults have a hard time practicing (I deal with it at work and it's fucking stressful), and couple that with the fact that times have changed technology-wise and it's uncharted territory for kids and parents. that's all.[/quote]

    You lost me on the bolded part. ? What are some adults doing?[/quote]

    I meant to say "something EVEN some adults have a hard time practicing".
    Gimli 1993
    Fargo 2003
    Winnipeg 2005
    Winnipeg 2011
    St. Paul 2014
  • The social medias have made kids too accessible.

    Back in my day, if someone thought I was a dick... that's all they could do. They couldn't post it on facebook and get 25 likes supporting the comment. The dial phone made it too cumbersome to try and spread the idea that someone was a loser or a whore... so people rarely made the efforts.

    Girls' mentalities have remained somewhat the same. They took pictures of themselves naked as well back in my day... but it was with a polaroid and those didn't photocopy very well. Not everyone had a polaroid either to take the pictures. You couldn't take pictures with the regular cameras because you had to take your film to the shop to have the pictures developed. The damage was minimal in terms of publication and viewing- let alone the rampant commenting and everlasting stigma that naive girls tend to receive after erroneously trusting a male and making a poor decision.

    The tools teens and adolescents have at their disposal now are beyond their coping mechanisms. Parenting skills need work to in this changing world- we cannot parent the same way our parents did: it's a different world. We are right in the midst of a changing world and everybody is trying to figure out how to deal with it. Until we do... we need to teach our kids to like and love each other. Respect and forgiveness must be the key things taught from day one.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • JeanwahJeanwah Posts: 6,363
    Hugh Freaking Dillon" said:
    [quote="Jeawah"]
    You lost me on the bolded part. ? What are some adults doing?
    I meant to say "something EVEN some adults have a hard time practicing".[/quote]

    Oh yeah, adult bullies in the work place are everywhere. But as adults, we seemingly deal with these insecure bullies quite differently than we do as teens. They're annoying as he'll, but we're mature enough to know that an office bully doesn't equate to being dramatic enough to ending our lives over it.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

    Life without passion is a world without song - Brianlux
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