Unwilling PJ Converts

rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
edited March 2013 in The Porch
I have been trying to convert my wife into a PJ fan for over a decade now. She doesn't dislike them but honestly isn't into music like I am. I have tried being subtle but it just doesn't work. She has declared that she wants to the Wrigley show with me so I told her she needs to earn it. With all the people dieing to go that couldn't get tickets she needs to listen to some PJ. She agreed. I got her to watch PJ20 for about 30 minutes so maybe I will start there and make her watch the whole thing.

Anyone else out there try to convert someone that you desperately want to like PJ but had no luck? Or anyone have luck with a difficult convert?
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Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
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  • ckravitzckravitz NJPosts: 1,089
    Ironically, I think getting a "non fan" to a show is actually the single best way to convert them as words just cannot describe how great they are live, especially in comparison to other bands. My wife is definitely a bigger fan after having seen them in concert (though admittedly still not as crazed like me!).
  • shetellsherselfshetellsherself New JerseyPosts: 4,536
    My hubby had been unwilling to consider the possibility that he might like pj since day one. Sometimes I wonder... Anyway I have found that I'm able to crack through that resolve with songs that were not frequently played on radio, newer songs and covers. He's a big pink Floyd and Neil young fan so those usually get the "ok your right that was pretty good". I also find positivity lurking when I play harder, faster tunes as these suit his taste better. "Wow that's pj?" He also appreciates a good guitar solo so any of the choices with mike making magic get a positive nod. He told me as if its a revelation " any band that sounds better live than in studio is good". No kidding. You know those boots that are stacking up? They aren't all the same. :D. So anyway I say figure out where she is in her own musical world and find some pj songs that fit in there. Go slow and draw her out. Good luck.
    5/3/92 Omaha, NE...6/19/95 Red Rocks...9/11/98 MSG...11/19/12 EV solo Tulsa...2013: Wrigley, Brooklyn 2, Philly 1 and 2, Hartford
  • YieldToNothingYieldToNothing Posts: 3,662
    yea when i was 18 i thought i needed to make everyone listen to pearl jam and make them fans. it worked on some, it kinda worked on some and for some it completely backfired.

    10 years later, i don't give a shit- listen to what you want to listen to. the band is still here and playing and i've got plenty of friends who love them
    i have a paper here that entitles me to fast track status
  • terrym08terrym08 Posts: 129
    ckravitz" said:
    Ironically, I think getting a "non fan" to a show is actually the single best way to convert them as words just cannot describe how great they are live, especially in comparison to other bands. My wife is definitely a bigger fan after having seen them in concert (though admittedly still not as crazed like me!).
    agree 100% :thumbup:
    Terry W Morris
  • Abe FromanAbe Froman Posts: 1,788
    Ok, well I met my wife about 8 years ago. She knew some obvious PJ stuff but was never a fan...at all. Long story short after playing it around her A LOT she now absolutely LOVES them and is really pumped about Wrigley! What really started hooking her was seeing Ed solo in Chicago back in 08'. She loved it. Then we saw PJ in 09'. She liked it but was a bigger fan of Ed's solo stuff. I think it was just due to the fact she just still wasn't familiar with some stuff they played (Life Wasted, God's Dice, ect). A couple more years of listening (especially to the PJ stuff I put on her iPod) and another Ed solo experience (2 nights Tulsa) and she's a huge fan now. She shocks me sometimes when a song will come on and she says "oh I love this one!' and it will be something totally random that I didn't even know she had ever heard. She actually sat and watched the entire show from Prague the other night. Maybe make her a playlist before Wrigley and make her jam it a few times. Here's what my wife really loves...

    Low Light
    Man Of The Hour
    Just Breathe
    Smile
    Unthought Known
    Nothingman
    Drifting
    Small Town
    Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns (Toronto, didn't even know she had ever heard it till the other day. Loves it!)
    I Am Mine
    Got Some
    Do The Evolution
    Porch

    Good luck brother!
  • ZodZod Posts: 2,062
    I've never really had this problem. I kind of realize I've converted my wife, brother, and most of my friends to being PJ fan's. They've all seen the band on multiple occassions and I actively see PJ loaded into their playlists etc....

    I never realized I had that impact on people until recently... or I guess PJ has that impact on people.
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 1,047
    I have given up.

    Have you ever had those people you tell you are going to a PJ show and they are like, "Whoa, they are still together? Didn't they do that Jeremy song? Geez.
    Amsterdam 1&2 - 2014* Chicago-2013 Noblesville-2010 Grand Rapids-2006
    Grand Rapids-2004 Auburn Hills-2000 Auburn Hills-1998 Toledo-1996

    "Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun. But mama, that's where the fun is."
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    ckravitz" said:
    Ironically, I think getting a "non fan" to a show is actually the single best way to convert them as words just cannot describe how great they are live, especially in comparison to other bands. My wife is definitely a bigger fan after having seen them in concert (though admittedly still not as crazed like me!).
    Tried that. Went to United Center in 06 with her. I think she liked it but someone puked in a beer cup and threw it toward us from the bowl seats above. It skimmed the brim of my hat and a couple drops got on her hair. Pretty disgusting. It is a good thing I didn't know who did it or I would have missed the show and spent the night in jail. Maybe its a lost cause. I think I will start with the PJ20 movie. At least I can associate the names of the band members with a face.
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,271
    I've taken my sister with me to countless PJ shows. She has a good enough time, but she's not really a fan, you know? So two Christmases ago I got her every PJ studio album in hopes that she would find the obsession :lol: I don't think she ever listened to them. Interestingly enough though, when EV came through town, I asked her to go with me. She hemmed and hawed about it, thinking it would be stupid. After the show, she couldn't stop talking about it! She LOVED it and promptly got his solo CD's - in fact the uke album is her fave! So we at least have that.

    But she won't be going to Pearl Jam shows with me anymore :nono:
    WI '98 WI '99 (EV) WI '00 Chgo '00 MO '00 Champaign '03 Chgo '03 WI '03 IN '03 MI '04 Chgo '06:N1 & 2 WI '06 Chgo '07 Chgo '08 (EV:N1) Chgo '09:N1 & 2 Chgo '11 (EV:N1) WI '11:N1 & 2 Philly '12 Wrigley '13 Pitt '13 Buff '13
  • rearviewross" said:
    I have been trying to convert my wife into a PJ fan for over a decade now. She doesn't dislike them but honestly isn't into music like I am. I have tried being subtle but it just doesn't work. She has declared that she wants to the Wrigley show with me so I told her she needs to earn it. With all the people dieing to go that couldn't get tickets she needs to listen to some PJ. She agreed. I got her to watch PJ20 for about 30 minutes so maybe I will start there and make her watch the whole thing.

    Anyone else out there try to convert someone that you desperately want to like PJ but had no luck? Or anyone have luck with a difficult convert?
    I agree with YieldToNothing, but the best way is just keep playing the music. My wife professes not to be a PJ fan (not that she says she dislikes them), yet she'll sing Alive or Crazy Mary or whatever pops on from time to time.

    Don't sit her down to watch. It's about the music. Just play it and it becomes like anything else to the subconscious.

    And telling her she needs to earn it is the silliest thing I've ever heard. That's a nice way to really turn her off (full pun intended). She's your wife, isn't she? If she says she wants to go, then why wouldn't you want her to go? Who cares if she enjoys it as much as you do. Maybe, she'll enjoy YOU enjoying it. Haven't you ever done that for her? ;) And maybe if you're real good, from that, she'll be converted.
    Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    Mamasan23" said:
    I've taken my sister with me to countless PJ shows. She has a good enough time, but she's not really a fan, you know? So two Christmases ago I got her every PJ studio album in hopes that she would find the obsession :lol: I don't think she ever listened to them. Interestingly enough though, when EV came through town, I asked her to go with me. She hemmed and hawed about it, thinking it would be stupid. After the show, she couldn't stop talking about it! She LOVED it and promptly got his solo CD's - in fact the uke album is her fave! So we at least have that.

    But she won't be going to Pearl Jam shows with me anymore :nono:
    Ok, so maybe Ill get her listening to EV. That is more up her alley too. She doesn't really like loud music. Not sure why she married me then. :lol:

    I think she is just using this concert as an excuse to get a weekend away from the kids in Chicago. Cant say I blame her.
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain.Posts: 9,564
    I've never had any luck getting family or friends to become PJ fans. Most of my peers (including my dearly beloved wife) listen to stuff I don't care for and visa versa. So thank God for PJ friends and the PJ forum!

    Adams Center, Missoula, MT 09/30/12
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    EdsonNascimento" said:
    [quote="rearviewross"]I have been trying to convert my wife into a PJ fan for over a decade now. She doesn't dislike them but honestly isn't into music like I am. I have tried being subtle but it just doesn't work. She has declared that she wants to the Wrigley show with me so I told her she needs to earn it. With all the people dieing to go that couldn't get tickets she needs to listen to some PJ. She agreed. I got her to watch PJ20 for about 30 minutes so maybe I will start there and make her watch the whole thing.

    Anyone else out there try to convert someone that you desperately want to like PJ but had no luck? Or anyone have luck with a difficult convert?
    And telling her she needs to earn it is the silliest thing I've ever heard. That's a nice way to really turn her off (full pun intended). She's your wife, isn't she? If she says she wants to go, then why wouldn't you want her to go? Who cares if she enjoys it as much as you do. Maybe, she'll enjoy YOU enjoying it. Haven't you ever done that for her? ;) And maybe if you're real good, from that, she'll be converted.[/quote]

    The earn it thing was kind of tongue in cheek. Trust me Ive been playing the music for over 10 years, it hasnt worked. It is time for tough love. :D
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • rearviewross" said:
    [quote="EdsonNascimento"][quote="rearviewross"]I have been trying to convert my wife into a PJ fan for over a decade now. She doesn't dislike them but honestly isn't into music like I am. I have tried being subtle but it just doesn't work. She has declared that she wants to the Wrigley show with me so I told her she needs to earn it. With all the people dieing to go that couldn't get tickets she needs to listen to some PJ. She agreed. I got her to watch PJ20 for about 30 minutes so maybe I will start there and make her watch the whole thing.

    Anyone else out there try to convert someone that you desperately want to like PJ but had no luck? Or anyone have luck with a difficult convert?
    And telling her she needs to earn it is the silliest thing I've ever heard. That's a nice way to really turn her off (full pun intended). She's your wife, isn't she? If she says she wants to go, then why wouldn't you want her to go? Who cares if she enjoys it as much as you do. Maybe, she'll enjoy YOU enjoying it. Haven't you ever done that for her? ;) And maybe if you're real good, from that, she'll be converted.[/quote]

    The earn it thing was kind of tongue in cheek. Trust me Ive been playing the music for over 10 years, it hasnt worked. It is time for tough love. :D[/quote]

    I realize that. Why wouldn't you want to go with your wife for a weekend in Chitown and catch a PJ show at Wrigley even if she's more into Chitown, and you're more into PJ?
    Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    I realize that. Why wouldn't you want to go with your wife for a weekend in Chitown and catch a PJ show at Wrigley even if she's more into Chitown, and you're more into PJ?[/quote]

    Never said I don't want to? That is exactly what we are doing. I just want her to like PJ more. :D
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • rearviewross" said:


    Never said I don't want to? That is exactly what we are doing. I just want her to like PJ more. :D
    And she wants you to like watching chick flicks more. We can't always get what we want. :lol:
    Sorry. The world doesn't work the way you tell it to.
  • ogey38ogey38 Posts: 529
    When tickets for Wrigley came up for sale, my family made me promise NOT to go to alone. My arguement to them was that I'm an adult, and would be perfectly fine in Chicago by myself. However, they won the battle.

    Turns out that the my PJ-loving friends aren't able to go, so my sister is very reluctantly coming with me. I'm so excited to see her reaction to the show. Imagine Wrigley being your first PJ show! My hope is that she will finally understand the impact this band has on my/our lives!
    Mid-America Center - Jun 13, 2003
    Alpine Valley Music Theatre - Sep 03, 2011
    Alpine Valley Music Theatre - Sep 04, 2011
    Wrigley Field - July 19, 2013
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    EdsonNascimento" said:
    [quote="rearviewross"]

    Never said I don't want to? That is exactly what we are doing. I just want her to like PJ more. :D
    And she wants you to like watching chick flicks more. We can't always get what we want. :lol:[/quote]

    Yeah, I think that is the realization that I am coming to. this show will be my last shot. :D
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • ckravitzckravitz NJPosts: 1,089
    rearviewross" said:
    [quote="ckravitz"]Ironically, I think getting a "non fan" to a show is actually the single best way to convert them as words just cannot describe how great they are live, especially in comparison to other bands. My wife is definitely a bigger fan after having seen them in concert (though admittedly still not as crazed like me!).
    Tried that. Went to United Center in 06 with her. I think she liked it but someone puked in a beer cup and threw it toward us from the bowl seats above. It skimmed the brim of my hat and a couple drops got on her hair. Pretty disgusting. It is a good thing I didn't know who did it or I would have missed the show and spent the night in jail. Maybe its a lost cause. I think I will start with the PJ20 movie. At least I can associate the names of the band members with a face.[/quote]

    Yikes! I'm very sorry for your (and her) experience, that is terrible that someone would do that.

    Man I just watched all three of the PJ20 discs again within the last week and it does really leave you wanting for more. Of course being a rabid fan to begin with probably has something to do with that. :)
  • silver39silver39 Columbus, OhioPosts: 1,222
    Im so glad there is this thread thought I was the only one with a spouse he didn't really care for them....

    I have been an obessed fan since 95!! My husband of 5 years has never seen them with me, ever! He is a fan of SRV, Pink Floyd, Led Zep, etc and never really wanted to go to a show with me. Not because he doesn't like them but because he just isn't interested in standing for 2.5 hours to watch a band he thinks it ok, lol! Plus, he has a bad back :-(

    So when Wrigley came up I basically begged him to go and after a few conversations I am happy to say he is FINALLY going with me!!!! Wooooo hoooooo!!! this will be his first show and our 1st together :-)

    He may not be stoked to go as much as me but I am beyond excited that he finally decided to go!!!!
    "I'll ride the wave,Where it takes me, I'll hold the pain, Release me"
    "I'm not about to give thanks or appologize"
    "Caught a bolt of lighting, cursed the day he let it go"
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    silver39" said:
    Im so glad there is this thread thought I was the only one with a spouse he didn't really care for them....

    I have been an obessed fan since 95!! My husband of 5 years has never seen them with me, ever! He is a fan of SRV, Pink Floyd, Led Zep, etc and never really wanted to go to a show with me. Not because he doesn't like them but because he just isn't interested in standing for 2.5 hours to watch a band he thinks it ok, lol! Plus, he has a bad back :-(

    So when Wrigley came up I basically begged him to go and after a few conversations I am happy to say he is FINALLY going with me!!!! Wooooo hoooooo!!! this will be his first show and our 1st together :-)

    He may not be stoked to go as much as me but I am beyond excited that he finally decided to go!!!!
    Congrats on getting him to go. I hope he has a new respect after the show.
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 16,810
    My mother is actually making an effort to understand my love for them. She doesn't like rock really, and has a real problem with songs where you can't easily understand all the lyrics.... But she came over last weekend, and I was going to put on something more easy listening like Dylan or something, and she actually asked me to put on a PJ record in some kind of effort to get where I'm coming from, so I put on No Code .... Unfortunately, she still doesn't get it. Next time I'll try Lost Dogs. That might work better.

    I don't know if you can convert people. Music has a deeper affect - it is more like love; you just can't explain why a particular person is the one, and why there is a that deeper connection. Same for music IMO. But I agree that getting someone to the live show, assuming they like rock concerts in the first place (my mom would freak out :lol: ), is the best way to expose them to that ineffable thing that gets people hooked.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • silver39silver39 Columbus, OhioPosts: 1,222
    I have been an obessed fan since 95!! My husband of 5 years has never seen them with me, ever! He is a fan of SRV, Pink Floyd, Led Zep, etc and never really wanted to go to a show with me. Not because he doesn't like them but because he just isn't interested in standing for 2.5 hours to watch a band he thinks it ok, lol! Plus, he has a bad back :-(

    So when Wrigley came up I basically begged him to go and after a few conversations I am happy to say he is FINALLY going with me!!!! Wooooo hoooooo!!! this will be his first show and our 1st together :-)

    He may not be stoked to go as much as me but I am beyond excited that he finally decided to go!!!![/quote]

    Congrats on getting him to go. I hope he has a new respect after the show.[/quote]


    me too!! I think it might :-) A friend saw them here in Columbus and she is a HUGE country fan....once she saw Pearl Jam she was like that is one of the best shows I have ever seen :-)
    "I'll ride the wave,Where it takes me, I'll hold the pain, Release me"
    "I'm not about to give thanks or appologize"
    "Caught a bolt of lighting, cursed the day he let it go"
  • callencallen Posts: 2,832
    Have her watch SVT.
    10-18-2000 Houston, 04-06-2003 Houston, 6-25-2003 Toronto, 10-8-2004 Kissimmee, 9-4-2005 Calgary, 12-3-05 Sao Paulo, 7-2-2006 Denver, 7-22-06 Gorge, 7-23-2006 Gorge, 9-13-2006 Bern, 6-22-2008 DC, 6-24-2008 MSG, 6-25-2008 MSG
  • KathiKathi Posts: 1,800
    I've had friends join me for shows before (not PJ, but others), and I like them coming with me and enjoying things together, but I prefer to share a show experience with a "real" fan. I've gone to a lot of shows alone, as people weren't interested/didn't have money/couldn't be bothered to travel etc., and I always had a good time...but it's just not as good as when you get to share that experience with someone who's equally into it as you are. That's why my fav PJ shows are the ones I got to spend with newfound friends.
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 16,810
    Kathi" said:
    I've had friends join me for shows before (not PJ, but others), and I like them coming with me and enjoying things together, but I prefer to share a show experience with a "real" fan. I've gone to a lot of shows alone, as people weren't interested/didn't have money/couldn't be bothered to travel etc., and I always had a good time...but it's just not as good as when you get to share that experience with someone who's equally into it as you are. That's why my fav PJ shows are the ones I got to spend with newfound friends.
    Yeah, I've actually chosen to go to shows alone rather than go with someone who just doesn't care. Sometimes someone who just doesn't care can kind of sap the excitement out of the experience. But it sure is nice to see a show with someone who DOES care! Or at least someone who fully appreciates how much you care. I took a friend to the RNDM show, and he'd never heard of them of course, but he did understand just how stoked I was, and got into that and helped me enjoy it ... So really you just need an empathetic friend, not necessarily a big fan. :)
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • shortstackshortstack Posts: 1,669
    i've never tried to convert anyone. i don't think i care enough.
    it is a better time going with someone who is also a fan, but i'd rather go alone now.
    whatever happened to my rock n' roll?
  • katelliskatellis Posts: 502
    i dated a guy for 6 years, took him to 2 great shows, and he never became a fan. i never really tried to 'convert' him per se, but i figured he would get into them after seeing the concerts. no dice! oh well. he respected them, but i guess just didn't really feel their music. we broke up (not because of his lack of pj love, lol) and my now fiance is a fan :)
    00: detroit
    03: chicago detroit x 2 toronto
    04: seattle toledo grandrapids
    05: kitchener london hamilton toronto
    06: grandrapids cleveland detroit cincy
    07: lolla
    09: chicago x 2 philly x 4
    10: indy cleveland dc
    11: pj20 x 2
    13: chicago charlottesville
  • I didn't try to "convert" my wife per say, it was more like "if you stick around, this is what you will deal with." After her second show, I think she became a true fan, but I didn't know that she had pledged her allegiance until she had to write a paper for a philosophy class on a famous person who lives a philosophic life, and her first thought was Ed. The professor told her she was the second one to write about Ed in his tenure, and hers was much better...man I was proud that day!
  • rearviewrossrearviewross Green BayPosts: 3,014
    SK359828" said:
    I didn't try to "convert" my wife per say, it was more like "if you stick around, this is what you will deal with." After her second show, I think she became a true fan, but I didn't know that she had pledged her allegiance until she had to write a paper for a philosophy class on a famous person who lives a philosophic life, and her first thought was Ed. The professor told her she was the second one to write about Ed in his tenure, and hers was much better...man I was proud that day!
    Nice. :cry:
    Forced to endure, what I cannot forgive.
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