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hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
This is spurred in a way by the religious thread, but also something that Danny and I have been discussing lately - when/how one's true colors come out, whether to yourself or to others, or both.
I always thought that in the worst, most stressful lifestorms, we show what we're made of. Whether we panic, or buck up and deal with it, or extend calm and control and then break down after.
I think that still holds water, though less so as I get older. While I've certainly disappointed myself for not living up to some of my own expectations, I'm proud of myself - have surprised myself - with how I've made it through some trying times that challenged aspects I'd previously not doubted.
Actually makes me feel like a puss, what with how I've seen others survive, even thrive, through worse.
But by the same token, I'm coming to believe that it's more about how we behave when things are good.
When you're complacent, comfortable.
When no one's watching.
When you don't HAVE to be honorable or courageous or act with integrity...but you do.
Comes down to having to answer to yourself...with the hope that "yourself" doesn't allow for too many rationalizations.
(as for MYself...they say knowledge is a tree...so, still getting there
)
I always thought that in the worst, most stressful lifestorms, we show what we're made of. Whether we panic, or buck up and deal with it, or extend calm and control and then break down after.
I think that still holds water, though less so as I get older. While I've certainly disappointed myself for not living up to some of my own expectations, I'm proud of myself - have surprised myself - with how I've made it through some trying times that challenged aspects I'd previously not doubted.
Actually makes me feel like a puss, what with how I've seen others survive, even thrive, through worse.
But by the same token, I'm coming to believe that it's more about how we behave when things are good.
When you're complacent, comfortable.
When no one's watching.
When you don't HAVE to be honorable or courageous or act with integrity...but you do.
Comes down to having to answer to yourself...with the hope that "yourself" doesn't allow for too many rationalizations.
(as for MYself...they say knowledge is a tree...so, still getting there
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Really great post hedonist, 2 my mind anyway.
-
Imagine, right now, let's say our lives for (just) the past 2 years were video/audio recorded. second by second. Then played back to us, right now. No doubt, it would be shocking to us, how we really are. Who we really are.
When we take 2 steps back and look at ourselves, What would we see? who would we see? The person we think we are?
When things are really hard, then we see...what's, what. When fear, desire or whatever else takes over. Or try's to take over.
Answering to yourself... exactly. Looking in the mirror and being satisfied that you are being true to yourself. You have to live with yourself...!
I'd have to say overall, yeah. Even with the laugh/cry/LIVING lines on my face, memories and experiences I wish I'd never had...yeah. This life I've been given, for better and worse, is good.
The seeing along the way that you mentioned? Beyond good.
Easy enough to know what has to be done; I think it takes alot of strength to DO what has to be done.
Once we acknowledge who we are - the good, the bad and the ugly all together, there is real acceptance. We are a whole made up of different parts. Our 'true colours' are only a snapshot in time - each one different. As long as we realise that and do not try to be what we are not all the time (eg all goody goody all the time so as to not see the 'ugly' come out). Any 'facade' built cannot last forever, whether 'hiding' from yourself or others.
I was once told that after we die our life is played back to us and we are held accountable for everything we've done. I don't believe or disbelieve that because it's all speculation but if our lives were to be played back on a video I think the things we did that would reflect the best of who we are would be things we may not even remember- the selfless acts of kindness or courage that we did spontaneously rather than having been done to gain us brownie points in heaven. I'm not saying we shouldn't make conscious efforts to do good things- in fact I think if we practice being generous and kind without expectations of rewards it becomes a part of our character. And believe me, I'm not saying I'm there- I still need a lot of practice this way!
i make huge strides to be a good person now
if i'm given too much change, for example, i will give it back
i ALWAYS lend a hand to someone that needs any help i can provide
(don't care if this is right or wrong
but i will always smoke pot)
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
Same boat here! It does me good.
And brian, your post reminded me a bit - alot, actually - of "Defending Your Life". Love that film.
Funny that you should mention that- I was just thinking the other day I hadn't seen that film in quite a while. Now I will for sure! Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep, Rip Torn. Love it!
(hearts and thoughts...
and there's a LOT. every day I fucking wake up.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
We'll keep your back covered, Hugh.
smokin pot is rule
so we are in this same boat together
we sail on clouds of green and hills of many
red and purple skies down and up risings
each branch of weeping willow tree
a land bridge to the orient and others of far off expanses
kindness is gathered as if harvesting humanity
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
we are accountable to ourselves yes of course but others also....
more importantly.
Being interconnected action reaction even more than many consider.
True colors certainly depends on who is being honest and who isn't in life
and here really.... which is like life. Life-like 10C
It also to some degree is perception by others. My perception of one person will
be different than what another might perceive of that same person.
Our life experiences effects this as does baggage as does how each individual reacts differently
with different people.
Some here will take advantage of others because they can, some will lie, some will pretend
to be something they are not. Some will be honest and forthright, some will purposely hurt
or disrespect.... this as in life but here of course can bring the worst out.
Honesty for me is the basis to true colors if you are not honest with others
you are not true.... you are hidden and fake.... you are not honest with yourself
you can not be with others.
Life is challenges and lessons learned, people enjoyed and memories made
most important... Love to keep forever
what you want do is simmer over a low flame for 45 minutes occasionally stiring, take off heat and put a lid on and let cool for 15, i'm ready to serve!
I go Great with Beer and Potates!
Here's my take:
Our character is not defined on how we act or what we say, it is defined by who we are. Our character reveals its true colors when there is no one around, not we we sit and expound on the virtuous aspects of our being. A true indicator of true colors is bringing in other individuals for comparison or as an indicator of poor character traits. Knocking down others in ordr to make ourself appear more virtous only lets others know how petty we really are. We all know who we are, we have no idea what the character of others are.
That said, all I can do is present the same face in public, as I do in private. But, I'll tell you... I fail at this. I am a LOT stranger when alone. I would like to say and believe that I would be the one heroic person in the crowd... but, I realize that I will never know what I'd do when faced with a real threat of danger. Who will be the person to jump on the subway track to try to save a stranger and who will be the one of 200 that will stand there in shock?
Truth is.. we don't know.
Hail, Hail!!!
"kindness is gathered as if harvesting humanity"
how appropriate
"what a long, strange trip it's been"
I'm reading this in so many different ways... can you/do you wish to clarify what you meant?
But is this not all part of our 'true colours', ie how we are? It's not a fail. I think we're all a bit different in the various 'settings' of our life - at work, at home, with a loved one, with a foe.... Doesn't mean were are fake, dishonest etc. It's the consistency and integrity in the way we act in each setting. The 'deep down' is most probably the same, the way to express it would be different. The WYSISWYG thing... whatever the situation/environment.
"A true indicator of true colors is bringing in other individuals for comparison or as an indicator of poor character traits."
Meaning, If I have to revert to knocking other people in order to reveal what a great person I am... in comparison to them.... it only reveals to the world, what a fucking petty little asshole I am, right? I think it is better for me to just say what I believe to be the truth and let others decide on how they percieve me. If what I say pisses them off... sorry. I have found that the truth isn't always pretty and nice and I would do you a great disservice by lying to you by saying I agree with you... if I don't, right?
... ...
That is true, we DO display certain aspects of our personality in different situations, to different people, but our character SHOULD always present itself in each. If I'm a liar and a cheat, then I am a liar and a cheat at home, at work, to my friends, my enemies, my co-worker and my spouse, right?
The truth of the matter... you don't really know if I am a liar and a cheat or an honest and truthful human being, do you? No one knows who we are except ourselves.
Hail, Hail!!!
That's how I initially understood it. And yes, truth sometimes hurts but is necessary.
...
That's why I was saying the 'deep down' is fundamentally the same - whatever the situation. I think I know who I am, though I sometimes surprise myself!
and how honest they are with themselves and others about just that.
Integrity is honesty and truthfulness of one's actions and their value system dictates this.
If one believes opposing beliefs do not deserve respect and their actions/words display
this, their value system is evident and their motives appear as their true colors.
And Cosmo, I'd be willing to bet I'm correct in my assessment of your character
The thing is... character alone doesn't really prove anything. Like a person who sticks to his convictions, tells the world what he honestly believes to be true and sincerely believes what he is doing will lead to a greater good... does not tell the whole story.
Case in point, Adolph Hitler had those very same character traits. To him (Hitler), he would be able to convince a lot of people, which he did, that he was a person of good character.
What he DID with those character traits is what matters.
Hail, Hail!!!
I get your point. It's a difficult one that. Just trying to think about my individual traits/attributes and how this forms my character and furthermore how this projects as my 'true colours'. Hmmmmm... food for thought.
But maybe looking at your example of Hitler - whilst he was able to convince some people (a lot of people) he was of good character, one could also see his 'true colours' (ie what lies beneath this). A facade which could not be held up forever. Again, perception, isn't it? It's not only how you project, it's also how people wish to 'receive'.
The thing is, we can be truthful... but ARE we truthful? Or do we justify our flaws and convince ourselves that we are of good character? If we can face the truth with honesty and avoid making up excuses and rationalizing why we do the things we do... you'd think that would work. But, we might simple believe in our beliefs as truth, we will continue with the habits we have hardcoded into our being.
...
Also...
Are you going to catch McCready's gig at the Troubadour in May? It's a G.A. situation, so it might be hard on your back, but you can always try to score a seat up in the balcony.
The Galaxy (Observatory) in Santa Ana has booths... and I believe it's a first come/first served arrangement.
Hail, Hail!!!