when i...

catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
edited October 2013 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
i dont even know
what it is im wondering about
cause i dont even know what it is youre talking about
im sitting here nursing who knows how many drinks its been
but where are you?
cause i cant see you about
but i sure can feel you all around me
the air it breathes like a southern gust from the antarctic
with nothing io stop it but the denial you stake your pride on
can you fee it now
cause im not sure that i can
the noise aorund me
envelopes all my thoughts
and distorts them
but you know that already
and i doubt what it was you came here looking for is what youre leaving with
knowing youve no idea what it was you felt you needed anyway
can you hear me now
can you feel it now
cause i cant feel a god damn thing
and i know its alright cause im not wanting to be saved by you or anyone else
ive given everything there is to give to the one i love
and funny how it works out it wasnt enough
it was never enough
i just wanted and im not sure what i needed
when i lay down..
... was it you?
and so i stand here
resting against this old fig
knowing more than youll ever know...
... yet knowing it aint ever enough
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Post edited by Unknown User on
«1345

Comments

  • blenderman69blenderman69 phillyPosts: 2,036
    :clap: :clap: :clap: :thumbup: i like it!post more!!!!!
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    come before me
    so i can stand behind you
    and hold you up
    when you fall
    the air you breathe is my life force
    the blood that flows
    my river of life
    give to me
    what you receive
    draw strength from what is given you
    and just remember
    where it comes from
    and choose wisely
    to keep us alive
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    the wine glass stands empty on the wooden floorboards. like my last breath it strangles me. i struggle to draw life and it stands there... silent. mocking me... daring me.. yet saying nothing anyone can hear. i would be lying to myself if i said it doesnt own me to some extent. and so, because i dont lie, i say nothing. but remain silent within myself waiting.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • blenderman69blenderman69 phillyPosts: 2,036
    ladies and gentlemen....we have a new poet champion :clap: :clap:
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    cover it all
    cover it all in white
    cover it all
    so it cant be seen
    bury it deep
    bury it deep within
    bury it deep
    so it cant be seen
    turn your back
    ignore it all
    carry on
    as if it didnt exist
    ignorance is bliss
    til it demands to be seen
    push it down
    push it down so deep
    push it down
    have a nice sleep
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    it waits. unformed but patient. it watches. you come and go and it watches it all. it hears your footfall. it knows your breathing. it smells the desperation, the desire, the anxiety when it goes wrong. it hears the words. it knows theyre all just lies. it hears the cries and sighs waiting for realisation to come. but still it waits.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    todays day of celebration is my day of mourning. to finally put to rest what i never had.
    so i gather up all ill need... your music, the movies, the books by authors i know youve read
    i light the single candle standing sentinel, chocolate frosting for its bed
    i watch the flame flicker and remember outside the full moon stares knowing all
    song after song i remember your words image after image the memory fades
    all the strength i have goes to forgetting cause it took nothing at all to make me believe
    my trust destroyed fuels the fire lighting the path away from a past best left just there
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • blenderman69blenderman69 phillyPosts: 2,036
    :clap: :clap: :thumbup: ..nice!
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she decided to take a leaf of his book
    there was no reason not to
    she sat perched at the bar
    her skirt riding half way up her thighs
    she laughed with the barman
    as her foot tapped out a tune only she could hear
    her hair fell about her face
    the bangles on her wrist jangling
    reminded her of times past
    the cold air caressed her legs
    every time the door opened
    it closed with a bang
    and she wondered if this time
    the dare would be acted upon
    finishing her drink she slid off the stool
    and sashayed back to the ladies
    her hips a swinging
    her arse giving the best show of its life
    every pair of eyes watched
    as the clicking of her heels stopped all conversation
    a single woman
    in a bar
    alone
    had to be a lush
    or a hooker
    or just a whore
    fucking for pleasure
    not rent

    dont you love when theres a drink waiting for you
    love it more if it was waiting alone
    she smiled as she lifted her arse back onto her perch
    thank you
    he opened his mouth
    she figured to introduce himself
    she pressed her fingers to his lips
    and shook her head
    no
    no names
    lets just be someone were not tonight
    shell be joni he can be graham
    he laughed
    maybe at the game
    maybe cause he got her alias joke
    he made her laugh
    he touched her skin
    and when she crossed her legs
    she caught his hand between them
    he leant forward and whispered in her ear
    she drained her glass
    and was standing before he finished the sentence
    he followed her out into the night...
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • chadwickchadwick up my assPosts: 20,915
    ladies and gentlemen....we have a new poet champion :clap: :clap:
    catefrances has always been a poet champion
    new?
    um no

    old,,,yes :mrgreen:
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    he came looking for her
    drunk on wine and hepped up on pills
    she hesitated to open the door
    but she did
    he looked her up and down
    she stared back, daring him
    where you been?
    around
    he stepped closer and buried his face in her neck
    breathing in her scent
    she felt his hand on her arse
    who you been with?
    none of your business
    he pulled her to him, his fingers digging into her arse cheeks
    it is my business
    she pushed him away
    or at least tried to
    he held tight and she slapped him
    he laughed
    tough little bitch arent you?
    better than being some drunken junky
    oh i dunno. it has its benefits
    such as?
    well like not giving a damn about anything you say
    she felt the back of her knees against the bed
    his proximity made her shudder
    she could smell the booze on his breath
    the thought of his hands on her body repulsed her
    she remembered back to when this wasnt the case
    and wished thats where they were now
    she sighed
    resting her hand on his cheek and kissing his lips
    he closed his eyes and leant into it
    why dont you sleep it off and well go riding later?
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she sits on the window sill
    staring down into the alley
    it snowed last night
    and theres a layer of soft pureness
    covering the dirt.
    garden chairs are upended
    and perched on unused tables.
    trees spread their bare branches
    longing to be loved
    or at least for some cover to smile
    they know no one likes them naked
    no chidren come to play
    the birds fly south
    sometimes someone strings coloured lights
    but most often theyre forgotten until spring
    she watches as steam rises from a building blocks away
    the sky is a uniform grey
    and black garbage bags line the kerb
    a white toupe covering their bald heads
    as they wait like old people
    to meet their last resting place
    she looks back into the room
    the form on the bed unmoving
    the sheets crumpled at the end of the bed
    a pillow held hostage by his head and arms
    he snores softly and she looks past him
    cigarette packets, empty bottles, burnt matches
    an overflowing ashtray, pills, breathmints
    dog eared books, a used metrocard, discarded coins and
    paper money, half empty bottles a butt floating dead atop
    a beer that may be swigged by mistake in a post sleep stupor
    she hears the toilet flush in the room next door
    she needs to ge out of here
    the walls are closing in the roomr rank with bad air
    she pulls on her jeans and taking off her shirt throws it on the bed
    she misses him by inches
    he watches her through one eye
    but she doesnt see
    shes not looking at him now
    and she doesnt want to for a while
    he says nothing
    she dresses for warmth pulls on her boots
    grabs her coat. her bag
    and walks out the door
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    1010011010



    8-)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    i look around me
    and feel a sadness,
    the absence of friends gone
    a fence rose up
    and shut them out
    sometimes i feel so lonely
    im not sure why im still around
    i want it like it used to be
    but i know thats just a dream
    i write their names inside my mind
    and smile at memories
    so even though you may no longer see them
    when im here, theyre here with me.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she weeps at the loss
    of something she never really had
    is it for the time consumed or
    time just wasted
    her waking hours get drowned
    in thoughts shes told
    arent worth the grief
    she knows but it seems
    getting fucked in the head
    by stupid men makes her stupid too
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she stands half way across the room
    gazing at her portrait
    fine lines and colour wash
    harking back to the work of another
    she likes what she sees
    but shes not sure
    if its for this portrait or for the influence

    he sits in his chair
    the wicker worn in places
    he watches her gazing at herself
    her fine lines mark the space
    her hair hangs in a black sheet
    she shifts her weight
    and he watches her arse settle

    she speaks then turns
    she watches him watching her
    they play this game
    each wanting the other
    but neither wanting to make the first move
    its a tease they both know it

    the rain outside beats time
    with their breath and he stands
    she smiles as he comes toward her
    the tshirt, his tshirt barely covers
    what it is he wants is her
    and she knows as she always does
    as he touches her that this between them
    is his muse. not her...
    ...but this.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she watches him sing his songs of melancholy. words and music to mend a broken heart. she knows the story. everybody does. he seems lost in his own world.. only occasionally looking up with anything that you could call recognition. she finishes her drink. leaving the ice melting as she makes her way to the door. the cold autumn night hits her in the face and she pulls her hood over her head. it is a dark night. the moon is elsewhere and she can see only a slight sprinkle of stars. she moves away from the entrance, half in the shadows to be left alone. she watches with amusement as the underage tarts try their game on the bouncer. hes annoyed but amused, just like her. he knows theyre oportunists. he knows they come here only for the story they can tell tomorrow. shes lost in her own thoughts when she hears a shuffle behind her. she turns on guard and half smiles when he does. she offers him a smoke and surprisingly he takes it. shes not quite sure what to say... if she should say anything at all. but she cant help herself.. she has to say something... its what she does. im sorry for what you went through. he says nothing, just holds the smoke out to her. she takes a long drag. closing her eyes and holding the smoke in her mouth for as long as she can. its a game she plays with herself. shes momentarily lost in her own world again. when she opens her eyes she can see he hasnt moved. hes watching her. his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. shes never seen such a serious face. she doesnt know why, but she reaches out and traces her fingers along his brow. you want to get out of here?. he answers with a deep and husky yes.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    they sit opposite each other in some diner. he nursing a coffee. black and unsweetened. for her a pot of tea. loose tea. no bags. also unsweetened. when he offers her the sugarbowl she declines telling him shes a purist. so you grow your own then? she smiles and nods. i dont normally just go off with strange women she never thought he did. besides im not all that strange. he raises his eyebrow. she takes a sip from her cup. so tell me why you did go off with me

    you seemed like someone id like to know

    and you got that from me sharing my doob with you?

    he looked her square in the eye

    lets just say im a good judge of character

    she said nothing. remaining silent but looking like she was mulling something over inside her head.

    do you want some pancakes? i feel like pancakes

    clearly silences with strangers were something he wasnt comfortable with

    yeah sure. why not

    why not indeed

    the waitress came over, took their order and disappeared.

    youre easy to look at you know

    i guess i should be flattered

    not good with compliments?

    no. ive just heard it before

    ah. so you think im insincere?

    i dont know you well enough to know that

    and if you did youd know im not. ever. at least i dont tend to be

    are you a writer?

    she laughed at his question.

    why. need help with your songs?

    he caught a laugh in his throat and thought he was saved by the arrival of their food. she started humming a song as she poured maple syrup over her pancakes.

    trying to drown 'em are you?

    i happen to like maple syrup

    yes. i can see that

    she poked her tongue out at him and started eating.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she saw him again 3 days later. and that night they spent the night together. but there was another woman. someone elses woman. she was dead but during the following weeks it was clear she was still around. she watched him as he struggled to free himself of the spectre. he was fighting a losing battle. she could see this. perhaps he could too but didnt want to admit it to himself let alone to her. or maybe he enjoyed the struggle against the waves he was drowning under. cause at times he seemed mighty comfortable with his silences and drinking. it sure came through in his writing. when he said he was going north and asked her to join him she said no. he shrugged and left her behind.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she got on with her life in his absence. what else could she do? she wrote and painted. spent time with her friends. did everything she usually did. she even went camping in the desert. three days with no phone. and she didnt even hesitate. part of her wanted him gone. but another part of her just wanted him. when she got back home her machine was flashing like a bomb just about to detonate. she heard the voices of her brother, 2 of her sisters, her agent paulie and twice she heard the voice of a stranger. a male stranger. it introduced itself and then gave her bad news. hed been in an accident and was asking for her. after nearly 2 months he was asking for her. she picked up the machine and threw it across the room.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she knew who she was looking for but that didnt make it any less stressful. she extended her hand in greeting and when he introduced himself she said she knew. it slipped out before she could stop it and they both laughed. she only had a backpack with her but he took it, slung it over one shoulder and led her to the car. she never been this far north and to stop herself thinking she gazed absentmindedly out the window. it was raining and the rhythm of the wipers almost had her nodding off. was he drinking?. he wasnt. he hadnt been drinking since he arrived. that was her first surprise. hed been up at his cabin doing whatever it was he did up there and decided a trip to the city during a howling rainstorm was a good idea. his car did not. the opinion was he was craving company and came down the mountain looking for it. its not my fault

    no. its his

    i dont even know why he had you call me

    he told me about you.he said you drove him crazy...

    ha. short trip

    ... you didnt demand anything of him like others did. he said he wasnt sure how to handle that

    oh come on. surely she never...

    she stopped herself. she didnt want to talk about that. she didnt want to talk about him. she didnt want to be in this car being driven by this rockstar who shed never met before but who had been a part of her life for many years. it was like some weird absurdist movie. this was not who she was. not anymore. after last time she swore no more dopers. no more musicians who actually had a record deal and product in the stores. and definitely not one as well known as the one lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a drip. last time it ended badly. this one had that potential and she didnt want it. but she had to admit to herself she did want him. she let out a long sigh.

    will you wait for me?

    of course
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • rollingsrollings unknownPosts: 6,650
    she stands half way across the room
    gazing at her portrait
    fine lines and colour wash
    harking back to the work of another
    she likes what she sees
    but shes not sure
    if its for this portrait or for the influence

    he sits in his chair
    the wicker worn in places
    he watches her gazing at herself
    her fine lines mark the space
    her hair hangs in a black sheet
    she shifts her weight
    and he watches her arse settle

    she speaks then turns
    she watches him watching her
    they play this game
    each wanting the other
    but neither wanting to make the first move
    its a tease they both know it

    the rain outside beats time
    with their breath and he stands
    she smiles as he comes toward her
    the tshirt, his tshirt barely covers
    what it is he wants is her
    and she knows as she always does
    as he touches her that this between them
    is his muse. not her...
    ...but this.

    THIS is very good
    How's the view from the fence?
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    she sighed upon the sea
    an ocean full of tears
    the wind that steered her from home
    couldnt blow her back again
    she once knew how deep the waters
    and how far she was from calm
    but now the waves roll so high and wide
    its difficult to see the stars
    and so when darkness comes
    shes tossed amidst black water
    and finds herself alone
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    i wonder when
    i wonder what
    i wonder why it all began
    i wonder when it fell apart
    but i dont wonder how you stole my heart
    it was easy so it seems
    and just as easy to destroy the dream
    oh yes i admit i was putty in your hands
    but you were meant to design beauty
    not corrode it into an acidic mess
    i wonder when
    i wonder why
    i wonder what it all meant
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    someone is here
    i cant see who
    they brush right by
    dont say goodbye
    i wish theyd stop
    at least to try
    to see me here

    i sigh to breathe
    to cry is useless
    it rushes past
    i dont dare move
    lest i fall

    someone is here
    i can see who
    they say hey
    but choose to ignore
    i wish id start
    at least to try
    to try to see me
    anywhere
    anywhere but
    here.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    i saw you once
    where are you
    walking though the park
    hands deep inside your pockets

    i saw you once
    where are you
    i took your picture
    but you were unaware
    brown hair poking from underneath
    a striped beanie pulled down over your head

    i saw you twice
    in my hand i hold
    an image of you
    where are you
    are you near?
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    quiet space
    somnolent
    comes alive
    yet remains
    silhouettes against the walls
    covered in bright coloured shapes
    words written in between
    the solid blocks
    the fine lines, the smiles
    the curves and casual hands
    amazing how
    such a space is reverred
    as if by its very being
    its holy and should be experienced
    in whispered tones
    she longs to cry out
    to scream
    its okay
    use your outside voice
    but she is gone
    and this, her creation
    is her(e)
    and so
    in respect
    we shall clasp our hands behind our backs
    lean in conspiratorially
    and share our thoughts
    keep criticism to a minimum
    as if to not like
    is to show disrespect
    rather than to pretend,
    which does.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    i could ask why
    but i dont care
    i see the destruction left
    and i dont care
    about you
    i dont understand
    i doubt i ever will
    little pieces falling into place
    slowly making sense
    i could ask why
    but as i said
    i dont care
    i could ask why
    but it no longer matters
    the fact that you did what you did
    is enough for me
    not to care
    to question every word you spoke
    how could i trust you again
    aah but now it all makes sense...
    ... to you
    not me
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 28,842
    did you tell him
    did you tell him what you did
    did you tell him how you hold a heart
    and how you squeeze it til it dies
    did you whisper sweet words in his ear
    tell him how much you love him
    how you want to be his queen

    did you hold him close
    so close he couldnt breathe
    wrap your arms around his life
    and very slowly take away all his belief

    did you tell him
    did you pour all your poison
    deep into his soul
    til all he knew was you

    did you separate him from his life
    so he could give his all to you
    did you laugh when you left him broken
    hear his cries and him begging for release


    did you know that i am watching you
    and what you think i dont know, i do
    do you know one day itll all come down on you
    and youll only have yourself to blame.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • tremorstremors Posts: 8,051
    The writing in this thread is so good it is actually hard to digest without me getting overly churned up. I had to dip in to three or four pieces. Will have to come back to more when feeling stronger. Thanks for sharing this with us. Sincerely.
    Cancel my subscription to the Ressurection
    Send my credentials to the house of detention

    lettherecordsplay1x.gif?t=1377796878
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